A. Wolf Stands for ANGER Wolf !!

News Reporter Jim the Lizard: Welcome to Farmington 7, where you can get the freshest news from the farm. Sorry for interrupting your daily broadcast but this is a special report. Famed actor Alexander T. Wolf has just been arrested. News Reporter Panda Lee, can you please tell us more about what happened?

News Reporter Panda Lee: Yes Jim. Just moments ago, the case came to a close and Alexander T. Wolf was sentenced to life in prison for the murder of two pigs. Wolf was taken out of the court in handcuffs, guarded by several tiger policemen. The pig community was completely in outrage by his actions. They even mobbed in front of the court. Many of them were relieved and cheered as Wolf was being escorted into the police car.

News Reporter Jim the Lizard: To those who do not know the details, here is a summary of what was presented and decided in the court…

[A few hours earlier, the beginning of the court case…]

Judge Owl Oscar: Okay so from what I am presented with, Mr. Wolf is charged with the murder and consumption of the two brothers of Mr. Peter Pig. What do you have to say for yourself Mr. Wolf?

Alexander T. Wolf: Sir, this is all a misunderstanding. As you can see from the evidence, I was found with nothing but a measuring cup in my hand when I was taken custody from Mr. Peter’s front yard. I just wanted some sugar. The so called “murders” of Mr. Peter’s two brothers were just two horrible accidents. I had a terrible sneezing cold and happened to sneeze in front of both pigs’ houses when I asked for sugar. The force of my sneeze shook their homes so much that they collapsed inwards. It’s not my fault that their houses were so unstable. So technically, their HOUSES killed them. THAT is what happened.

Peter Pig: LIES!! He is an ACTOR!! He’s faking it I KNO--

Judge Owl Oscar: ORDER IN THE COURT!! [BANG BANG BANG] Is that so Mr. Wolf? Why then, did you eat them afterwards?

Alexander T. Wolf: With all due respect, sir, are you seriously asking me this? I am a wolf. When the debris cleared, there were two dead pigs. So I simply figured: Why waste meat?

Peter Pig: Your GRANDMA is a waste of meat!!

Alexander T. Wolf: Why I ought to--!!

Judge Owl Oscar: SECURITY!! Hold them in place please!!

[Two security guards grab Alexander T. Wolf and Peter Pig. Alexander T. Wolf bites the shoulder of the security guard that’s closer and rushes toward Peter Pig. The other security guard releases Pig Peter and tries to restrain Alexander T. Wolf. However, Alexander T. Wolf flings the second guard onto the first guard. Both guards are now knocked out. Alexander T. Wolf attempts to mutilate this last little piggie but Peter Pig knees Alexander T. Wolf in the gonads. By this time, backup security guards from the hallways had entered and fully restrained Alexander T. Wolf.]

Judge Owl Oscar: That’s IT!! You DARE try to commit ANOTHER murder in MY COURT ?!?! You are judged GUILTY. LIFE SENTENCE IN JAIL!! And some anger management lessons too!!

[Back to the news broadcast]

News Reporter Jim the Lizard: And there you have it. Alexander T. Wolf is sentenced to jail for life. Any further news of this story will be continued on our regular broadcasting time at ten p.m.

[News coverage ends. News channel tune comes up: ♪ Bee bee boo, boo bee bee bee boo boo. ♫]

The big protest

Those evil pigs!

Reporter: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. This is channel 3 news reporter Edward outside the courthouse in Springfield. Six hours ago in this courthouse, Mr. Wilewolf is charged with two aggravated murder, Mr. Ziggy and Mr. Piggy. Attempted murder to Mr. Smokey and destroy other animals’ residences. Now, the trial has ended, we are waiting outside the court to talk to Mr.Wilewolf… o, he’s coming out. Mr.Wilewolf, hello, Mr. Wilewolf. What judge decided? Can you tell us what happened in the court? Is that true some people said because you found out your girlfriend like pigs more than you so you decided to put revenge on those pigs?

Mr.Wilewolf: I told everyone that I am innocent. The Judge asked me whether I murdered those pigs because I want eat them. It is so not true. I was a pizza wolf and I received a pizza delivery from Mr. Ziggy. Our pizza store policy is that we only accept cash. But when I arrived at Mr.Ziggy’s house, if you call that straw---a house. He first refused to pay cash, only credit card. After I mentioned our store policy, he then said that he ordered Chinese food, not pizza. Well, that pissed me off totally.

Reporter: So what happened to Mr. Piggy? I heared his girlfriend was your old lover. Is that true you killed him because of love?

Mr.Wilewolf: What? No. No. No. After I did not collect money from Mr. Piggy, I lost my pizza delivery job. But I still remember Mr. Piggy’s birthday, he and me was good friends, I can remember his birthday without a Facebook reminder.

Reporter: So you murdered him at his birthday party?

Mr.Wilewolf: Do I look crazy? He thought I killed Mr. Ziggy so that he did not allow me to go to his party. I said, “I am just a single wolf who wants to celebrate your birthday.” Do you know what did he said to me?

Reporter: (shake his head)

Mr.Wilewolf: No way man f@#k that sh@#t. Get the f@#k off my porch, crackhead!!

Reporter: (looks shocked) So what about the attempted murder to Mr. Smokey?

Mr. Wilewolf: Ok, about that, tomorrow or next few days I have lawsuit against him for slander and attempted murder to me.

Reporter: Could you tell us why?

Mr. Wilewolf: First, he knows I have heart disease, and he throw an apple as far as he can, I almost get killed by heart disease because I want that apple so bad. And next day, he hide into a churn and tried to kill me, how smart that little bastard was, if that killed me, then the suspect will be the churn, not him!

Reporter: But since he will not let you into his house, how will you find him tomorrow?

Mr. Wilewolf: O I have a plan. I decide to get down the chimney after him. Do not tell him.

Reporter: Well, people, Mr. Wilewolf is not guilt and we will have follow-up investigation on what happened to the lawsuit against Mr. Wilewo.

Porky the Retarded Pig v. Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf.

This is Fairytale news, I am Jin the Awesome Cobra, broadcasting live from the Fairytale Court in Fairytale land. Today we have a civil case of Porky the Retarded Pig v. Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf. Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf is counter suing Porky the Retarded Pig for mental distress and depression caused by last year’s most controversial court case, “State of Fairytale Land v. Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf”, where Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf was ridiculously charged with 1^st degree manslaughter for the deaths of Sausage the Ugly Pig, and Bacon the Oily Pig. The case is about to start and the judge is walking in.

Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : RAWR! Good morning everybody! Here we are today with the case of Porky the Retarded Pig v. Fluffy the Innocent Wolf. Can both defendant and the prosecutor please rise and state your case. I will be asking the majority of the questions here today, just because I said so. The prosecutor may go first

Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : Good morning Uncle Lycan! How are you doing? You look skin looks extra smooth today!

Porky the Retarded Pig : OBJECTION IRRELEVANCY, YOUR HONOR! He is totally sucking up to you and what he is saying has nothing to do with the court case!

Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Objection overruled, he is complimenting me, and I am the court, therefore it has everything to do with the case. Fluffy, you may continue.

Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : Porky, if you object one more time, I’m going to sue you after this case for causing me to lose my thoughts. Anyways Uncle Lycan, I am here today to sue Porky for accusing me for the murder of his brothers, who were already dead when I first laid eyes on them! Even though I won the case, everything was never the same. All my friends made fun of me because I got sued by retarded pigs who didn’t know how to build houses and I’ve been a laughing stock ever since. It’s not right! I hate it! I’ve lost all confidence in myself and I was rejected from Piglet High School, where the majority of the student body is pigs, simply because they were afraid of me. It’s all Porky’s fault! He must pay for his actions!

Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : This sounds like legitimate case, Porky, do you have anything to say to defend yourself?

Porky the Retarded Pig : Your honor! This case is RIDICULOUS! He ate TWO of my brothers for god sakes! I’m positive that I’m suffering more stress than he could possibly imagine, and now he’s suing ME? You can’t be serious. The only reason he won the last case was because the Judge was his father.
That’s not fa-

Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : WHOA WHOA, hold up a second. That judge happens to be my brother, what are you trying to say? That we’re biased? Do you know who you’re messing with here?

Porky the Retarded Pig : Sir no your honor…. You’re not biased at all. Not one bit.. It’s just that he killed two of my brothers..

Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : OBJECTION YOUR HONOR! I did not kill his brothers; they were already dead when I got there.

Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Objection sustained, Fluffy had no fault in the deaths of Sausage and Bacon, they were retards who built a house of straws and sticks, they deserved to die.

Porky the Retarded Pig : YOUR HONOR! You have absolutely no right to say that! You’re a judge, you’re not supposed to take any sides!

Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf: Stay in topic Porky, or you’ll risk losing this case. Are you aware of the stress you’ve caused Fluffy by your careless actions? Did you think about it before you decided to sue him?

Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : YEAH! HE HURT MY FEELINGS.

Porky the Retarded Pig : What!? What about MY feelings! What about MY stress that he caused to ME by HIS careless actions!!? He definitely didn’t think about it before murdering my brothers!

Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : For the last and final time, stay on topic. What is wrong with you? The world doesn’t revolve around you, you selfish pig. This case is not about your feelings or your brothers, it’s about Fluffy’s feelings and the stress you’ve caused him. You did not answer my previous question, please stay on topic.

Porky the Retarded Pig : Okay this is getting ridiculous, you are just as biased as the last judge. I’m going to sue you for being biased!

Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : That’s the last straw, you’ve disrespected me and my family for the very last time. I sentence you to death by barbecue! You will be cooked for Fluffy’s family to eat, and that is final.

Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : Yeah! And I’ll sue your parents if you taste bad!

Porky the Retarded Pig : WHAT!? YOU CAN’T DO THAT!

Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Sure I could, I am the judge, I can do anything. Watch me. GUARDS, TAKE HIM AWAY!

Porky the Retarded Pig : NOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS BULLSH-
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Guards, make sure you cut his tongue before cooking him. Prosecutor, do you have any last words?

Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : Looks like I have dinner for tonight! Thanks for everything Uncle! I’ll see you tomorrow.

Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Tomorrow? What’s tomorrow?

Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : Oh you forgot? I’m suing my friends for making fun of me and I’m suing Piglet High School for discriminating me.

Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Haha! Sounds like a plan, *wink*, anything else?

Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : Nope!

Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Court adjourned.

Well that was an interesting turn of events! Looks like everything worked out for Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf! I heard he’s having a barbecue tomorrow, and everybody in Fairytale Land is invited! Shame on Porky’s family for being so selfish, all they think about is themselves. They wouldn’t even spare a cup of sugar for Fluffy, how despicable. That’s it today for Fairytale news, This is Jin the Awesome Cobra reporting in, thank you for tuning, see you next time!