B.Badd Wolfe

This is Eyewitness news @ 5 with Sidney A. Grimes reporting live from the Queens County court house where one B. Badd Wolfe is being charged with the disappearance & possible homicide of 2 persons.

Sources have it that the prosecution has found an eyewitness who is willing to testify against Mr. Wolfe. It is believed that this source will make a surprise appearance today & will link Mr. Wolfe to the disappearance of one Tastie M. Littlepigg & her sister Plumjucie M. Littlepigg.

[Reporter is standing in corridor outside of court proceeding]

[Reporter notices commotion –doors swing open- & outcomes Mr. Wolfe in handcuffs escorted by court officers on his way to his holding cell.]

Reporter: Mr. Wolfe…Mr. Wolfe…is it true? Did you kidnap & murder the Littlepigg sisters?

Mr. Wolfe: I am innocent! I am being framed! They have no proof of anything. I don’t know or have never met nobody named Littlepigg.

Reporter: But how do you explain the overwhelming evidence against you? I mean if I’m correct you suddenly gained 150lbs…. “overnight.” Then according to the transcript hair follicles matching your DNA were found at the homes of the Littlepigg sisters. How do you explain that?

Mr. Wolfe: This is water weight…I went fishing and I kinda fell in the water and swallowed some water when I tried to catch some fish.

Reporter: Mr. Wolfe you did not answer my question. How does that explain the hair found at the scene of the alleged crime?

Mr. Wolfe: I tell ya it is a trap. I am being framed because of my protruding jaw line & my longhair. Its discrimination I tell ya…just down right discrimination.

Reporter: Well you’ve just heard his side of the story & if you ask me… “Something smells fishy.”

[In comes surprise witness through the court house entrance doors & proceeds with heavy police escort accompanied by her attorney – one Ms. “Lukkie A. Littlepigg]

[Ms. Lukkie spots reporter & immediately begins to explain sordid details]

Ms. Lukkie: I want everyone to know that I saw everything. Mr. Wolfe went to my sister Tastie’ home & tried to deceivingly talk his way in. When Tastie told him that he couldn’t come in, he started “huffing & puffing” [Yelling, Cussing, & banging] on the door & eventually broke into the house and I haven’t seen Tastie since. Next thing you know, I was on the phone with my 2nd sister Plumjucie when I overheard a commotion while I was telling her about Tastie & heard Mr. Wolfe’ voice in the background & then the phone went dead.

I want the world to know that this man did something evil & he is going to pay if I don’t find out what happened to my sisters. He must be held accountable or else someone better lock me up before I get my hands on him.


[Court is in session – trial begins & then case is brought before jury]


Prosecutor: Mr. Wolfe the evidence against you is overwhelming. You stating during your cross-examination that you gained the extra weight fishing but yet you do not own a fishing reel. I find this puzzling. The state of New York will prove beyond a shadow of doubt that you & only you were responsible for the disappearance of Ms. Tastie & Plumjucie Littlepigg.


Mr. Wolfe: Impossible. There is no way or nothing you can do to prove I had anything to do with anything. I ain’t done nothing. You just blowing smoke. Ha-ha-ha- you bore me.

[Little did Mr. Wolfe know- apparently while he was resting, “going on a hunch,” the prosecutor spiked his food with an elephant type laxative into lunch that would kick in just about now…]

Mr. Wolfe: (to his lawyer…) “I don’t feel so well.” I think I better go the restroom but not with any of you nosey coppers ya see…

[Of course he was escorted but allowed to enter by himself while the court officers stayed outside. Little did he know that the prosecution overheard his request & unbeknownst to Mr. Wolfe they had already strategically installed cameras just outside the restroom being monitored by the Judge & jury right inside the courtroom]


As expected, there was an awful scream & howl & outcome Ms. Tastie & her sister Plumjucie dashing out of the restroom & the a very exhausted & sore Mr. Wolfe saying, “I’m give up, I’m guilty” can someone please get me a Doctor?

Reporter: So there you have it. 3 sisters reunited after a terrible ordeal & one sore Wolfe who will remember – “what goes in must come out.”

…Reporting live from the steps of the Queens County court house, your roving Eyewitness News reporter, Sidney A. Grimes.

Have a safe & happy day.