"Poor Alex"

The Wolf Express

Every year around this time Alexander T. Wolf plans a birthday party for his grandmother, and this year was no exception.  Although the party would always have just two attendees, he knew it meant everything for his eighty-nine year old grandmother to be with the only person she had in the world, him.  You see, poor Alex and his grandmother had lost their entire family in a bloody massacre carried out by some humans (who by the way, to this day have never been disciplined) while on a family picnic at Central Park.  Mr. Wolf and his grandmother only survived because they were a bit tardy, preparing the picnic cake.

            This year, unfortunately, there would no such party, as Alexander T. Wolf is laying in a cold prison cell, accused of a double homicide.  The humans have alleged that sweet Alex, intentionally murdered two, of the three famous Pig Brothers that live on that prime piece of real estate downtown Brooklyn, yes the same property that billionaire Donald Dump has been trying to acquire for the last year to build “his” super ball park; the property the pigs refused to sell.

            Alexander explained the events on that ill-fated morning, as he walked by the five acre property he noticed that something was not right.  First of all Mr. Chops – the local butcher and sworn enemy of the pigs – truck was parked outside.  As if that was not bad enough, two trucks from Mr. Donald Dump’s construction company were unloading equipment out front.  Although he had a cold, and he was headed to Mrs. Hen’s house to borrow some sugar, he put aside the problems he and the pigs had in the past, entered the property and headed for the first pig’s house.  He would save the day; after all they were still all animals.  He might even borrow some sugar for granny’s cake and invite the pigs to the party.

            On getting to the first house which was made of straw, he felt a sneeze coming on, as soon as he knocked the sneeze came out blowing the house down.  Alarmed at how easy the house fell, Alex ran in to apologize to Pig Tail, the youngest of the three boys.  As the dust settled he noticed that the pig was dead on the floor.  It was at that moment everything became clear to Mr. Alexander T. Wolf – the humans had started plotting against them.  Images of his dead family flashed in front of him.  He would not let the butcher sell his animal buddy.  Although Alex had been a vegetarian for the past ten years, he took one for the team, he ate the pig.

            He moved quickly to the next house on the property, maybe he could save the rest.  Low and behold the exact thing happened.  And again he did the honorable thing, he ate the second pig.

            By the time he got to the last house, he was sweating, sneezing and screaming.  He just wanted the last brother to be saved, he had been there before, and he knew how it felt to lose family.  The pig inside, unaware of what was going on outside heard the racket, and got frightened.  This is when it all happened; the cops were everywhere accusing him of crimes.  They threw him in the back of a truck and the last thing he saw was Mr. Chops consoling the last surviving pig.

            As I pen this article with heavy heart, I implore all the animals to do the right thing.  Come out and march with us, force the humans to free the admirable wolf and give a grieving old wolf a true birthday present.