A wolf will always be a wolf!

A wolf will always be a wolf!

News Commentator: You are watching WNYC 5, New York’s favorite news station and live in action we are about to witness the trial of the century, the horrendous story of the Three Little Pigs. This trial has put Americans on the edge of their sofas and in the end, hopefully everyone in the Brooklyn community will be able to, once and for, see Mr. Alexander T. Wolf get put in the dog cage. On the scene we have Michael who will be broadcasting the trial. Now, on to you Michael. (Start of the trial)

Judge: (commands loudly) ALL RISE. We have case 262, City of Brooklyn vs. Mr. Alexander T. Wolf. Now Mr. Wolf please tell me what this matter is about.

Mr. Wolf (defendant): I am being accused of killing the three little pigs. I didn’t do anything wrong, I didn’t kill them and they were just stupid. Who would build a house out of straw or sticks? The death of the first two pigs was just an accident but the last pig was really rude and called my grandma names. If I were to be charged for anything it would be for the way I handled the third fat pig.

Plaintiff (District Attorney): I OBJECT! He brutally killed all the pigs and they weren’t that fat. Mr. Wolf is a murderer, I mean blatant murderer! He should be given the electric chair.

Judge: Hey, hey, hey, settle down will you? I will not have the victims called names in this courtroom. Do you understand me Mr. Wolf?

Mr. Wolf: Yes, your honor.

Judge: Start by telling your story please.

Mr. Wolf: Well first, I didn’t have sugar to make a cake for my grandma and I couldn’t run to the store and get some because I was feeling awful. I recently contracted the H1N1 swine flu virus and I decided to just go next door and ask my neighbor if I could have a small cup of sugar. I went to the first two pigs’ houses and the wind was blowing really hard. The pigs didn’t come to the door when I knocked on their doors and the dust from their homes tickled my nose. As I was leaving the first two houses, the wind blew them both down and killed the pigs inside. I seen the houses fall one at a time and when I went to rescue the pigs they were dead, helpless little ham hogs. They were already dead before I got to them and I was really hungry, so I ate them.

District Attorney: I object. I have a witness who has already gave a statement and said that he threatened the pigs to knock them down and blew their homes down. We already have notaries from people who were willing to testify against Mr. Wolf. If he didn’t mean to kill them, he shouldn’t have eaten them. I’m a pig also! What are you going come to my house, blow my house down and eat me too?

Judge: Order, order in the court. Plaintiff let me see those notaries that you have with you today and Mr. Wolf please proceed.

Mr. Wolf: He’s a liar your honor. The last little pig though was very different. I asked that little pig if he could give me a cup of sugar for my grandma’s cake and he started saying disrespectful things about my grandmother. I didn’t like that so I took the law into my own hands and took care of him myself.

Judge: Yourself?

Mr. Wolf: Yes, myself. I used my extra sharp claws and teeth and ate his little chinny-chin-chin. Then I began eating his limbs one by one until his whole body was in my belly. He deserved it and I would do it again and again if I could.

District Attorney: You’re a monster and everyone knows it. Did you hear that? He should be put away forever. Put him in the dog cage where he belongs or worse, put him to death. Killer, Killer, KILLER!

Judge: Order in the court, order in the court! This is absurd. Now quiet down and lets see what the jury says about this case. Jury!

Head of the Jury: By a unanimous vote, the jury finds that the defendant Mr. Wolf is guilty of three counts on 1^st degree murder with the punishment, life in prison.

Mr. Wolf: (charging towards the district attorney) Why you little… I’ll kill you too you fat pig.

District Attorney: Get away. Get away! My neck!

Mike (the camera man): OH MY GOD! Mr. Wolf has been found guilty for three counts on 1^st degree murder and he had just attacked the district attorney. Mr. Wolf had his mouth around the D.A.’s neck and the officers here just fired shots at Mr. Wolf killing him instantly. This is breaking news from your WNYC 5 and that’s it for tonight! Stay tuned for updates tomorrow.