Piggius Reactius or Truth, only Truth and nothing but the Truth about the Case of the Three Little Pigs

Crow the Reporter: Good Afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen! This is Carl Crow for the Forest News Channel 8. We are reporting about a horrific case of double-homicide of two members of our Green World Community. On June 18, 2008 two brothers, John and James Piggards were killed in cold blood by some Mr. Wolfard. The scope of the crime is unconceivable. Mr. Wolfard consecutively destroyed the properties of the two brothers and glutinously devoured the victims. Yet the most outrageous about this situation is the fact that Mr. Wolfard pleaded “not guilty” to all chrages and claims temporary insanity as a reason for consuming the bodies of the victims. Let’s see what Mr. Wolfard’s attorney Mrs. Foxy Red has to say in defense of her client.

(The image of the court room full of animals and Owl the Judge presiding)

Foxy Red: Dear Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury! Here and now you face a burden of making a vitally important decision, a decision of reinstating justice and saving an innocent life. The prosecution has done a great job twisting the truth, blackening the image of Mr. Wolfard and desperately trying to convince you that my client is a cold-blooded serial killer. What happened to be an unfortunate set of circumstances has been portrayed as a premeditated homicide. My client is a caring grandson and a prominent member of the community who sacrifices his time and financial means to help those in need. Yet as you see now he is paying a hefty price for his kindness.

Exhibit 1, medical report, page 13, the conclusion. As you can see, Ladies and Gentlemen, my client suffers from a rare decease Pigius Reactius. This is an ailment that wolves most often become victims of. It makes them sneeze explosively and uncontrollably once exposed to a pig. A typical seizure is usually followed by a loss of self-control for a period of time as long as 20 minutes. As our medical examiner Mrs. Hyena established Mr. Wolfard was contaminated on his trip to Africa where he was bitten by a wild boar. In Africa Mr. Wolfard headed a charitable mission “Save the Pig in Need” bringing medicine, food and supplies of fresh water to the inhabitants of impoverished valleys. Since the decease has a dormancy period of half a year it did not manifest itself until recently.

My client having no knowledge of being contaminated and the danger that he was in paid a visit to Mr. John Piggard. And as soon as he approached the house of Mr. Piggard my client fell prey to the symptoms of the treacherous ailment. After having a seizure and blanking out for approximately 15 minutes Mr. Wolfard found himself alone at the ruins of the straw house. Lost and confused he decided to visit John’s brother – Mr. James Piggard – in an attempt to find the missing house owner. And the situation repeated again. At the third time Mr. Wolfard realized that Mr. Jeremy Piggard – the eldest of the three brothers – lives not far away. There as we know my client experienced his last seizure and was captured in a state of delirium by the police and questioned. Since my client was in no mental capacity to testify or make statements I ask the Honorable Court to disregard the narrative given by Mr. Wolfard to the nosy journalist Mr. Jon Scieszka and consider it null and void.

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury! Yes, Mr. Wolfard committed an act that he deeply regrets. He will have to live with it all his life. But he did not commit it out wickedness or immorality. He is a seriously sick person who needs treatment and doctor’s help, not a prison cell. Help us reinstate justice here; find Mr. Wolfard not guilty!

(focus back on the Crow the Reporter)

Crow the Reporter: As you see, dear viewers, the defense is using every tactic to save the murder from the needle. Yet it’s not up to us to speculate and take guesses. Let’s just hope that the Jury reaches the right verdict and renders justice. From the Green Forest Court room, I Carl Crow, exclusively for Forest News Channel 8.