The following is a special presentation on Wolves News covered by the best reporter in town, Juan Adorno.
“The jury has reached a verdict in the Alexander Wolf vs. The Pig Family Case, AL Wolf is innocent.” Al Sharpton leads the program with an astonishing introduction:
Sharpton: Ladies and gentlemen, you have just witnessed a landmark moment in American history. Wolves are constantly stereotyped as “big and bad” but the verdict of this case proves that there are good wolves out there and they are not all guilty of disastrous behaviors. I dare to say that this case is a failed attempt at framing MR. Alexander Wolf. I hereby proudly say that, I back Alexander all the way and justice has been served.
Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it. Those are the words of Al Sharpton himself. Now, let’s go over to NYC, NY where the attorneys of both sides are having a beer at the fitzgeralds bar over on 23rd and Lexington Ave.
Reporter: Piggy’s lawyer, what are your thoughts on the verdict of the case?
Pigs lawyer: First and foremost, I want to say that the story Wolf presented was spurious. There might have been a legitimate argument for breaking down the house due to a weak foundation but eating the pigs was not justified.
Reporter: So, why did you say in the court room that if an animal is left dead somewhere, it ought to be used as food?
Pigs Lawyer: O, that’s right ! Well anyway as I was saying, it was bad enough to break down the poor pigs’ home that they built with their own two feet. But that’s not where it stops; he also ate the poor pigs. Now, the third brother cannot even see his own brothers in a respectable funeral due to that wolf that is now running the city maybe blowing down more homes, because you know that what they are known for.
Reporter: Actually, strong opinions say that many people keep stereotyping wolves in that manner and that is not right. What are your thoughts on that?
Pigs Lawyer: Well, the facts are what they are.
[ At this point, the lawyer representing wolf jumps into the discussion]
Wolves lawyer: Yea, the facts are what they are. My client was sick and simply needed sugar. He knocked on both of your so called victim’s home and their homes broke down. They ought not to be compensated for building weak homes. That is there incompetence! Lastly, there is no proof that these pigs were eaten by my client so the murder charges were rightfully thrown out the window.
Reporter: Hey, Pigs lawyer, why are you crying?
Pigs Lawyer: Because my brother has always been the smarter one in the family. He is always going to be the brother who lands these rich clients who pay him loads of money to get them off free. I am always going to be the brother who flunked out of law school
Reporter: Excuse me, you flunked out of law school?
Next on Wolves News, “Inadequate lawyers in the courtroom” brought you by none other than Juan Adorno.
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