Abnormal Story

Pyra Panks Show

Pyra Panks: HI, welcome all to the Pyra Panks show. Today we’re going to talk about a very serious case that no one had found a solution to.

Many pigs have been killed by Big Bad wolf who claimed himself innocent because he was just doing his job. I have the official trial that we will watch together after this break.

(After the commercial break) As I was saying earlier two innocent pigs have been killed by a big bad wolf in Lost Animal’s land; for many, it has been a shock because these pigs didn’t deserve to die. However, Mr. Wolf without any compassion is saying that he has been convicted of a murder that he has to do as part of his job. Here is the formal trial:

Your honor, in front of you is Mr. Wolf who has been convicted of the murder of the two little pigs.

Honor: What do you have to say for your accusation?

Mr. Wolf: Your Honor I tried to explain to these people that I was just doing my job!

Honor: Is eating pigs your job?

Mr. Wolf: Actually I didn’t eat them, I killed them.

(The crowd angry, screaming, yelling…)

Honor: (knocking on his table) Silence in the courtroom please!!! It’s still murder. Explain yourself Mr. Wolf!!!

Mr. Wolf: My Honor, do you like my meat products???

Honor: Mr. Wolf, I am not the one here for accusation. Proceed to the question that I ask you. Why did you kill these innocent pigs?

Mr. Wolf: Where do you think you get the delicious bacon that you eat when you’re having breakfast??? Where do you think you get these yummy hotdogs and sausage that you eat when you’re having lunch??? They are all made of the meat of these pigs. I’ve been killing pigs for several years for my charcuterie. I cook these pigs to prepare meat products such as bacon, sausage, hot dogs that all of you, in this courtroom accusing me of murder, have been eaten for several years. I was caught up because of this third pig that I couldn’t kill which is now your witness. Therefore, we are all murderers because all of you are a consumer of my meat products. If you think it’s fair to put me in prison for something that we are all tied up then let injustice be. I have nothing else to say!!!

(Pyra Panks tuning off the clip of the formal trial that was ended)

Pyra Panks: From now on ladies and gentlemen, there was no verdict found for this trial. From sources, I heard that the Honor and the crowd were all shocked and couldn’t believe their ears. Some were throwing up, while some were crying feeling guilty. It’s a twisted story that has made all of us guilty of the murder of these two little pigs. Also, the third little pig which is the witness has been seen going crazy since this incident because he also was a customer of Mr. Wolf's charcuterie.

Thanks to all you who watched the Pyra Banks show today! Have a great week-end!

" i was just doing my job"

... these are the first words from Wolf who was not too long convicted of a double homicide...

I was just doing my job i tell you, well see it wasn't my job yet but i was preparing to become a buildings department inspector, which i was obviously overqualified for. That day i was walking along when i noticed this ridiculous house built entirely from straw. I mean what idiot does that. So i knock on the door to have a word with this airhead when the nastiest little pig ask who was there. I answered him, "little pig, little pig let me come in??" The nerve on this guy, he tells me "no, no, by the hair on my chinny chin chin!!!". Now i don't even know what that means but sounds like an insult to me. So joking around i tell this guy i was going to knock his entire house down simply by blowing on it. Sure enough this guys house came tumbling down. To this day i don't know how it came down. When i rushed to check on him he was gone. I paniced and ate him. I didnt know how to explain the incident no one would believe so i tried to hide the evidence it was an accident!!!

... Then how do explain the second pig???....

This just wasnt my day!!!! I finally get out of there and about an hour later i'm walking down a desolate field when i notice this puny little house built just from sticks. I say to myself this guys life is in danger, his house could fall as easy as the idiot who built his house from straw. i go up to the door and knock. When this pig answers i ask him the same question, may i come in? Again i get the answer, "no, no not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!!" Im saying to myself what the fuck could this mean, now upset because i think this pig is trying to insult me again, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly in order to calm down. What do you now??? this guys house tumbles right on top of him. i Know i cant leave the evidence behind no one believe me if i told them. So i ate him right up.


.... wait so how exactly did you get caught....

The third pig was a rat!! i try to compliment him on his nice brick house and he trys to cook me!!
can you believe that!! And here i am imprisoned like im the criminal. That was attempted murder what he did there!!

A Case of Wolf Racism

Al Sharpwolf: “Man why it always gotta be the wolves that picked on. Ya’ll always tryin to blame it on the wolf’man. First you got a little red girl to say that a wolf ate her grandmother and then that little boy that kept crying wolf ‘till a wolf ate his ass. Ain’t no wolves eat nobodies grandmamas or nobodies little boys. This is outright racism. We gonna march through the forest and demand equality for all animals.”

(In the newsroom)

News Anchor: That was the voice of Al Sharpwolf in front of the county courthouse sharing his anger and disgust at the constant persecution of the Wolf community. The scene inside the courthouse today was just as bizarre as the demonstrations outside. Although no media was allowed inside we were able to obtain a copy of the transcript from today’s proceedings.

“You as the jury should be able to establish the innocence my client, O.J. Wolfson based on the facts provided. To recap, my client was framed for the death of the two pigs when the contractor who built their houses should be at fault. My client when in the process of baking brownies for his grandmother discovered that he had no sugar went over to his closest neighbors, the Pigs. All was going fine until he arrived at the house of the first pig whose straw house at this point was still erect. My client proceeded to knock on the door of the first pig when all of a sudden he noticed the house beginning to collapse. He sought cover but by the time it was all over the straw house and the pig lay flat. He exclaimed to himself in disbelief “What idiot builds a house out of straw?”. Afraid that he would be blamed for such a catastrophe he decided to hide the body of the pig; in his stomach. While such events are thought to be sickening and unpleasant my client technically did not violate any laws. As experts can testify it is in his nature and cannot be blamed for what is not in his control. Following this ordeal the Wolf ran to the house of the second pig. Panicking and frantic, the wolf began to bang violently on the house built of stick of the second pig in order to get his attention, but to his dismay the house collapsed as well. At this point it was the Wolf’s best and worst day of his life. The second house had collapsed killing the pig inside of it. The wolf was shocked and paranoid and figured that he had no choice but to “hide” the second body as well. After he was finished with his consumption the Wolf ran to third pig’s house to notify him that both his brothers had died in an unfortunate case of poor craftsmanship, but at this point it was too late. The third pig noticing the commotion that resulted in the collapse of the second house had managed to call the police and claim that a crazed wolf just tore both of his brother’s houses down and ate them. By the time the Wolf had arrived at the house of the third pig the police had been waiting for him there with their guns drawn. The real criminals are the undocumented Rat workers that built these houses in the first place. Having no formal experience in house construction these Rats built a house that was not only in violation of many zoning laws but downright dangerous. Had it not been for their shoddy construction tactics these events would have never even taken place. The rest of the events have lead us here, to this courtroom today where I stand before you protesting the innocence of my client. I just hope that you, the ladies and gentlemen of the jury find it in your hearts to see the facts as they really happened and grant my client the freedom he truly deserves.”

(Back in the newsroom)

News Anchor: There you have it, the closing statement of the defense. Quite an absurd case this is Bob.

News Analyst: Yes it is, unlike anything I have ever seen in my legal career. Quite frankly I find it very hard to believe the events that took place according to the defense. We’ll just have to wait till the verdict comes.”

A. Wolf behind the Fairytale

Tonight on VH1 we interviewed A.wolf or as many of our viewers may know him as the Big Bad Wolf from the famed fairytale "The Three Little Pigs". We recently sat down with A. Wolf at the Neverland Maxium Security Prison where he is servin two consecutive life sentences for the death and consumption of two of the three little pigs. During our interview A.Wolf pleaded his innocense and made the claim that the forest media framed him for the pigs death . He said" They were alwys out to get me... I guess they finally succeeded". when VH1 asked him about the day he blew down the pigs houses he stated" I didnt blow them down! that was the creation of the media . I had a bad sneeze and they're house was made out of straw and sticks! naturally they were going to fall down". When sked what he was doing over the pigs homesthat day A. wolf stated" I was out looking for a cup of sugar for the birthday cake I was baking for my grandmother". We asked him to explain why he ate the pigs after discovering the were dead and he replied " Would you let good meat spoil?" Towards they end of the interview A.Wolf was stating how during his trial in fairytale supreme court the media had heavily influenced the judge and members of the jury from start to sentencing and how he knew the trial would sway gainst him. To support his claim VH1 has obtained the transcripts from the opening arguments of A.Wolf's trial.

Judge: Does the Prosecution have any opening statements?

Prosecutor: Goodmorning, your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Today I am here to prove that A.Wolf is a cold and calculating murderer whom stalked and killed two the three little pigs . I plan to prove that A.Wolf's intent that day was malicious and unprovoked and his consumption of the corps of two of the three little pigs only verifies that he had an unsubmissive appetite from them.

A. Wolf: I object they were delicious and I didnt want them to go to waste!

Judge: Overruled! Wait your turn Mr. Wolf. Proceed prosecution

Prosecutor: I am Done your Honor.

Judge: Does the defense have any opening statements?

A. Wolf (representing himself): Your honor, ladies and gentlemen o the jury, Today I am in a fight, a fight for my freedom. The Forest media has dragged my name through the mud and has turn everyone against me . They have even given me the name " The Big Bad Wolf" I'm 4 "8 thats hardly big at all! However I intend to prove that I am innocent of all charges. I intend to prove several facts are true to my claim and I plead with you that you all listen before judgement and ingore the medi reports you may have heard. First of I was out that day looking for a cup of sugar for the cake I was baking for my granny on her birthday. Secondly, I accidently sneezed and the house fell down I mean honestly who makes homes out of straw and sticks anyway?, I never blew them down. Thirdly the pigs were already dead . Lastly I want describe my position on eating them.

When we return VH1 will further explore A. Wolf's triail and the damaging evidence presented during the trial . Also the complelling and emotional testimony of the lst surviving pig.

Stay Tuned...

The eye in the sky saves the day!

A little tree was sitting along the prairie in between Alexander T. Wolf’s house and the three little pigs. A species in it managed to witness the horrific crimes that took place on such a wonderful sunny and breezy afternoon.
Thanks to Perky the sneaky squirrel there is enough evidence to begin a long awaited trail. Now, Perky has been living in the tree on the prairie for many years now and has a bird’s eye view of everything that is happening in her town. On a beautiful Sunday afternoon Perky witnessed something unusual at the start of the day. She saw the Wolf walking with a clear cup in his hand and knew that he was up to something that was not kosher, and she was right he was going after the pigs. Slowly climbing up to the highest branch of the tree, Perky hid behind the biggest leaf to pretend she was an undercover agent working for the New York Pork Department.
Perky however, did not realize what she was getting in to, and that her evidence would be off most importance in court. She saw the most pugnacious act in the history of her life on the prairie. She witnessed Alexander T. Wolf brake the first Pig’s straw house down. He saw the pig on the floor and managed to eat it, showing his true cannibalistic tendencies. He did so by tricking the pig into giving him water, or some other kind of substance that would fit in the clear cup. Perky as she described, felt helpless against the big bad Wolf and suddenly broke out into tears.
Only until the next belligerent act occurred, Perky saw Wolf slowly creeping down the block to the other Pig’s house. Perky said “the feeling I had was indescribable and it was filled with dismay”. She saw him use his evil tactics again to lure the pig into opening the door. When the pig was close to the door “KABAM” now the stick house blew up. He then proceeded to eat the pig as if it was some sort of candy; scraping up all the meat bone after bone after bone!
Perky was so devastated; all she wanted to do is cry. Until she realized that the Wolf had one more victim in mind. While the Wolf had another master plan under his belt, Perky saw the New York Pork Department swarming to the scene of the crime, to stop the bloodshed at last!
Perky was a national hero in the prairies of New York, because of her the Wolf will be sitting in incarceration and will be awaiting the death penalty. She helped convict the only murderer in the history of the prairie and was known for being “the eye in the sky” the only witness to bring justice back to the streets once again

Terror attacs hit the Forest

Last night, around 8 PM, a series of terrorist attacs took place in our community. At least that’s what the only witness says.

According to the police report, Ms. Foxylezza was spying Mr. Wolfallah. She is known as being paranoid and spying all the animals of the United Forests. She was listening on Mr. Wolfang’s phone conversation and found out that he ran out of sugar. He hang up the phone and went to ask for sugar from his neighbor, Mr. Hammy.

Upon arriving at Mr. Hammy’s place of residence, Mr. Wolfallah started sneezing and sneezing. And he sneezed so hard that the house came down and killed poor Mr. Hammy. This is when Ms. Foxylezza says the wolf picked up the body of Mr. Hammy and ate it. But we all know that Mr. Wolfallah is Muslim and can’t eat pork; plus he is a vegetarian.

Ms Foxylezza continues to report that he, Mr. Wolfallah, went to Mr. Hammy’s brother and using the same urban warfare tactic demolished his house and ate him too. Interesting enough is the fact that Mr. Wolfallah failed to ask for sugar from his second victim… or at least that’s the way we are lead to believe by Foxylezza.

After eating the second victim, Mr. Wolfallah went on with his acts of terror and moved on to the last Pork brother, Mr. Porcianni. Mr. Porcianni is the mayor of our Forest. Upon entering the property, Mr. Wolfallah prepared for his last ct of terror for the night, but this is when Ms. Fozylezza decided enough is enough and called the authorities, ho arrested Mr. Wolfallah.

What I find intriguing is that the only witness to all this is a very well known meat lover (especially bacon). Also, interesting is that the marking of teeth on the bones of the two victims don’t match the dental records of Mr. Wolfallah. They are a lot smaller.

This case will need a lot more investigation, that’s for sure. In the meantime, Mr. Wolfallah was sent to the Pigs Bay Prison and will be held there without bacon… I mean bail until the investigation is complete

Thinking of the society

The state of New Pigland vs. Wolf

The lawyer of Mr. Wolfe:

Your honor, in front of you is sitting an innocent animal who was trying to save the neighborhood of many deaths. I will explain to you the true story of what happened that cold night on September 22, 2009.

As you may heard on television and read in the newspapers, swine flu is one of the biggest threats in our state. The animals that initiated this sickness in that particular neighborhood were the three brothers, The Three Little Pigs. After they came back from Teklixico, they did not report their sicknesses to the hospital, and it consequently infected many animals of that city. One such animal was Mr. Wolf. He had all the symptoms of a swine flu like headache, high body temperature, coughing, fever, sneezing, etc.. Mr. Wolf, as a good citizen, went to the hospital where he got medicine against the flu. The side-effects of that medicine were unusual behavior and certain food cravings.

That day, September 22, 2009, Mr. Wolf's grandmother celebrated her eightieth birthday. Mr. Wolf wanted to make a special gift for her, a home-made cake. Since he valued his grandmother so much, he, instead of staying in bed, went to his neighbor to ask for sugar.

Still under influence of the medicine of the swine flu, he went to Mr. First Little Pig. As soon as he came to his house, a powerful sneeze came out. This sneeze destroyed Mr. First Little Pig's house. It was not Mr. Wolf's fault that the constructors of this house did a poor job building it. Unfortunately the destruction, killed Mr. First Little Pig. Being a good innocent animal, who thinks about the health and safety of other animals in the neighborhood, Mr. Wolf ate Mr. First Little Pig so the deadly disease would not spread around. This fact made Mr. Wolf feel better since he was saving the society.

But he still needed the sugar for the cake, so he went on to the Second Little Pig's house. There, he sneezed again, and the house crumbled down. (Maybe this house was done by the same constructors as the first one?). Mr. Wolf saw the dead body and decided to get rid of it by eating it as well so nobody else would get down with the swine flu.

Mr. Wolf then went to the Third Little Pig's House to ask for a cup of sugar. Mr. Wolf sneezed there as well and Mr. Third Little Pig thought that Mr. Wolf is attacking his house so he screamed and kicked Mr. Wolf. Mr. Wolf obviously did not want to get killed so he fought back. At this point, police of the state came and arrested Mr. Wolf for murder of Two Little Pigs.

Mr. Wolf did not have intentions to kill anyone, he wanted to save the society from deadly sickness of swine flu which Three Little Pigs were spreading. In fact, Mr. Wolf did not murder anyone, Two Little Pigs were killed by negligence of the constructors of their houses.

So what's the guilt of Mr. Wolf? Is it the fact that he was trying to save the world by stopping the lethal disease?