Good Evening, I'm Jim Lehrer. Startling new details emerged today during the testimony of Alexander Wolf, who is on trial for the alleged killing and eating of two pigs in low income housing. Both of the victim's homes were destroyed. Following that, the pigs were devoured on site by the accused, who maintains his innocence and claims that he was framed.
Wolf claimed that he was simply trying to borrow a cup of sugar from the residents of the houses closest to his, which is in a hilly, rural area. The first house he encountered was made of hay and claims that it was his powerful sneeze that caused the total destruction of the house. Apparently as the edifice collapsed, the porcine inhabitant died. In his testimony, Wolf said that he thought it would "have been a shame to leave a perfectly good ham dinner lying there." Shortly after that he commented, "Think of it as a big cheeseburger."
The second victim was shaving when Wolf knocked on his door, which was made of sticks, as was the rest of the home. After a brief verbal interaction, the Wolf had a second bout of sneezing, which caused the total destruction of this home as well. The pig-in-residence also perished immediately following the disaster. Wolf admitted to eating this pig and indicated a desire to eat the victim's carcass rather than leave it to spoil.
Judy Woodruff interviewed Wolf earlier today.
JW: "Mr. Wolf, why should the public to believe your story?"
AW: "I'm a nice guy...I've been set up."
JW: "Considering the detrimental effects your allergies have had on your community, have you considering ingesting a daily antihistamine tablet?"
AW: "This is another example of big corporations and pharmaceutical companies controlling the media; I'm not going to answer that."
JW: "Many experts in animal behavior agree that it is normal for wolves to eat pigs. Why do you feel the need to defend yourself against the allegations?"
AW: "This is clearly a case of animal profiling. I've got fangs...I'm furry...I must be a pig eating killer, right? Please...you are the mouth piece of the establishment. This interview is over."
3 comments:
I side with the wolf on this one it's never right to profile anyone because of the color of their skin or because of their animal ethnic group. We need to stand together because everyone human and animal have the right to pursue happiness without the obstruction of the law and I eat cheeseburgers too so I understand his point.
This is a good one. I liked the idea that you linked the story to something that is indeed happening: Mass media trying to take advantage of their power. They are trying to sell at all times regardless of whatever is happening. I must also say that I liked the attitude of A. Wolf, he is not letting the circumstances take control over him; but he remains calm and firm.
great job Aaron - I love the witty banter on the corrupt pharmaceutical company LOL
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