Murder at Round Park

Cartman (Reporter): Hello America, thank you for watching Round Park News. Today we are in front of the courthouse in the trial of Mr. Mackeywolf, who has been accused of killing my long time friends Kenny the Pig and Butters the Pig. These two brothers never saw it coming.

Wendy (News Anchor): Thank you for this great story Cartman. Any news on what his defense is?

Cartman (Reporter): Well, Wendy. According to Mr. Mackeywolf’s testimony, it was all a terrible misunderstanding. But why don’t you judge for yourself.

Mr.Mackeywolf (inside courthouse, speaking to judge): Judge Chef, This has been a terrible misunderstanding, umm ‘kay. You see, I stopped by Kenny the pig’s house to ask him why he has not been doing his homework for the past week, umm ‘kay. I knocked and knocked and no one answered. I assumed his parents were passed from doing drugs and decided to open the door, umm ‘kay. That’s where I found Kenny the pig passed out on his couch, umm ‘kay. I rushed to his side and tried to resuscitate him but I realized it was too late. At that moment, his brother Butters the pig comes into the house and sees me trying to resuscitate Kenny. He thinks I’ve killed him and threatens to call the police, umm ‘kay. I tried to explain to him that I found him like that, but he wouldn’t believe me. I tried to shake some sense into him but I accidentally hit his head against the T.V set. And there he was passed out too, umm ‘kay. I tried to resuscitate him too but he was also not responding, umm ‘kay. I didn’t know what to do so I cried. I cried so much that the whole house flooded and I had to run out of there. And that’s when the police came your honor, umm ‘kay. You can see this is all a misunderstanding.

Judge Chef: Well, Mr. Mackeywolf. This does seem to be a misunderstanding and you’ve suffered enough by finding your precious students dead. I will sentence you to counseling for a year. Court adjourned!

Mr. Mackeywolf: Thank you so much judge, umm ‘kay.

Cartman: As you can see folks, Mr. Mackeywolf has only been sentenced to counseling, leaving the death of my friends as an accident….oh. hold on Wendy. This just in. It seems that the third brother, Kyle the pig as been missing for a few days. What could’ve happened to him? I’ll be bringing you the latest on this new event. Here, on Round Park News.