Bill O'Reilly: Hi I'm Bill O'Reilly, thank you for watching us tonight. We now know how the case was decided by the courts last night with an unprecedented 5 minute decision made by the jury. Mr. Wolf was quickly deemed guilty by the jury of 4 ducks, 2 chickens, 5 mules, and 1 vegan wolf. And this will be the subject of tonight's reality check where we keep watch over the truth and make sure it is not messed with. This is what NBC's Matt Lauer said about the ruling on Today show this morning.
(Video Clip of today show )
Matt Lauer: Honestly I'm glad they put him away I can't find anything wrong with that decision that nobody would disagree with.
(End Video Clip back to Bill O'Reilly)
Bill O'Reilly: Anything that nobody... My third grade nun would have clocked him for that speech. Honestly there were many holes in that trial but nothing that Liberal NBC would disagree with. Alright enough of that. We here at the O'Reilly factor have to bring you the truth. It took us many weeks but we have Mr. Pig live from Kansas City and Mr. Wolf live from Ft. Leavenworth Prison here with us tonight. Welcome to the no spin zone.
(behind him a video feed of both Mr. Pig and Mr. Wolf pop up)
In Unison: Hi Bill.
Bill :Lets go check in with Mr. Wolf first. Hello Mr. Wolf you look like you are not doing so well.
Wolf: Yes it is rough on the inside. I'm in poor health as I have not received any treatment for the cold (fake sneezes, Pig rolls eyes) it has probably turned into Pneumonia.
Pig: You've been in jail five hours.
Bill: Ah Mr. Pig have to kick a Wolf when he is down.
Pig: (shakes head in frustration) He killed and ate my two brothers!
Bill: That is what the jury “convicted” him of. But we here at the O' Reilly Factor tend to disagree with the Liberal Media's portrayal of this sensational event, which has pushed you, Mr. Pig into quite some publicity these days.
Pig: Well I'm coming on your show to set the Right Wing Media and then I can go back to my life with my life partner Caroline.
Bill: Who are you calling right wing media? Here at Fox News we are fair and balanced. Only pinheads think we are Right Wing Media. Now your life partner... Caroline? Why don't you marry the poor girl and make a decent woman out of her.
Pig: We do not live by society's terms. More marriages end in divorce these days anyways.
Bill: And yet you will live by society's terms when it suits you? Like when it comes to wrongfully convicting Mr. Wolf here who was just looking for a cup of sugar? Mr. Wolf I apologize on the behalf of the country, looking for sugar is not a crime. In fact if you could send me your grannie's address I'll be happy to deliver a cake to her.
Wolf: Umm.. yeah. I'll give you that information later....
Pig: (tries to reiterate point) He killed my two brothers and ate them! There was no forensic evidence that he just sneezed in fact, my 2nd brother just had a new security system installed right before the vicious attack which showed that the video-
Bill: (interrupts) Video smideo, I've seen the testimony. I did not see any evidence beyond a reasonable doubt. Besides your brother would built a house out of sticks but invest in security camera. (scoffs) it sounds like your family has wrong values. (Wolf is nodding with his arms crossed) The same values that the Liberal Media agree with. So what if your brother had a damning video we don't know if that tape was made before hand. Alright Mr. Pig you can have the final word. Go.
Pig: I disagree-
Bill: (cuts off the pig again) Well thats all the time we have for today. Thanks to my participants Mr. Wolf and Mr. Pig.
2 comments:
I also think that Mr. Wolf is innocent, and shouldn't be found guilty. The society already define Mr. Wolf as "Big & Bad" way before this incident happened. So Mr. Pig and other people automatically accuse Mr.Wolf murder without further investigation.
I really like your O'Reilly post so many things to get into but what I liked the most is that like everything else in the media after watching you are left with more question then when you begin watching the show. What I got from your story is that you don't really say that the wolf is innocent while at the same time not making him look guilty. While the pig seems to be the one that is wrong the points that he bring to the table are all correct I think a great depiction of the media today as well as showing that don't always believe what you see.
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