Fraud Hits The Forest

The trial of Alexander T. Wolf seemed like a slam-dunk for the prosecution. Neighbors placed the known carnivore at the scene(s) of the crime and ever since the two Pig brothers moved into town five years ago joining their eldest brother, the Wolfs and Pigs have been at each other’s throats. Even though Mr. Wolf continuously proclaimed his innocence, very few believed him. Mr. Wolf was represented by famed defense attorney, Turtleberg, a creature whose diminutive stature and slow approach always cause his opponents to underestimate him.
As the defense began their case, tension filled the courtroom like a dense fog. The day before, an altercation broke out between the Pigs and Wolfs outside the courthouse after a particularly tense day of character witnesses lambasted Mr. Wolf. A court officer stood between the two sides to insure everyone’s safety. Little did anyone know the bombshell testimony that was about to occur.

Mr. Turtle called a surprise witness to the stand after lunch. Below are the transcripts are the testimony of Agent Sly Fox, an investigator with FBI.

Mr. Turtle: Agent Fox, please state your occupation for the court.

Agent Fox: I am a FBI agent in the Insurance Fraud Department.

Mr. Turtle: And, Agent Fox, you believe Mr. Fox is not guilty. Can you explain why?

Agent Fox: Yes, I’d be glad to. You see, the two deceased Pig brothers have been subjects of a long-standing fraud investigation. They first came on the FBI’s radar after their Pig Brother’s Mud Bath Salon and Spa in Farmertown went up into flames. The local police found remnants of accelerant and called in arson investigators. The Pig brothers fled town shortly after being called into the police department to take a lie detector test and the investigation crossed state lines, which is when the Fed was asked for help. We looked into the Pigs’ financial history and found that they were on the brink of losing their business. It seems that the brothers have a weakness for Porker and have lost a lot of money playing at high stakes card games. A month before the fire, the Pig brothers took out a $1,000,000 insurance policy on their business. They didn’t bank on the local police having the new spectrometer that can detect all types of accelerant.

Mr. Turtle: This is all very interesting, Agent Fox, but can you tell us how this relates to the case against Mr. Wolf.

Agent Fox: Sure. After some investigation, we found that there was a third Pig brother living here. It made sense that they would come here because they had almost no money. The day before the alleged “murder”, one of the Pig brothers spotted an Agent who had been tailing them. The next day, both of their houses were in ruin and Mr. Wolf stumbled upon two pig bodies. Now, being a meat lover myself, I can see how Mr. Wolf couldn’t resist a free meal. But, I digress, we had agents stationed at the Pig brothers’ mother’s house and saw two pigs going in right after the incident. We entered the house and identified the two pigs as the fugitive brothers. They admitted ruining their houses and placing two pig corpses at the scene to make it seem like they had been killed. Mr. Wolf is only guilty of following his animal instincts. These swine have a history of blaming others for their mistakes, but I’m happy to say that after the hard work of our agents, they will not get away with it this time! You’ll all be happy to know that they are sitting in a jail cell, where they belong!

The judge immediately dismissed Mr. Wolf of all charges. His wife, Bea Wolf, wept audibly and his children ran to give him a hug. The third pig brother was handcuffed and charged with filing a false report. This town owes Mr. Wolf and his family an apology. Sometimes it’s not a wolf, but a pig in sheep’s clothes that can fool you!