The O'Ratley Factor

You are watching FOX news . Welcome to the O'Ratly Factor with your host Bill O'Ratley

O'Ratley: Time & time again we hear of murders maims & vicious attacks of the K- nine variety. But what happens when the attacked becomes the accused. In recent news, New Yoink's own Runt pig was arrested last week for the brutal murder of Brer Wolf. I have with me special guest, Mr. McRabbit who is representing the Wolf family & is here to give us some insight on this most shocking story. Now McRabbit. (pauses as if in disbelief) I'm surprised that you have taken on a case such as this. especially being the usual victim of choice for the wolf kind.

McRabbit; (in disbelief ) Are you profiling my client Mr. O'ratley.

O'Ratley: (Laughs Haughtily Lets get serious McRabbit. For as long as this community can remember there has been significant problems with the wolf kind. There are more trials leading to convictions with a wolf as the accused assailant than bears, mountain lions & raccoons combined. & none accused of more vicious crimes than murder.

McRabbit: Yes my client is a wolf & yes, I am am rabbit, but justice is justice Mr O'Ratley. My client was brutally murdered by Mr Runt Pig. He was incinerated alive in the chimney of his home & Runt never reported the incident. It wasn't until 2 weeks later that his family reported him missing. Ms. Owlton, who lives above Runt Pig, complained of a foul odor coming from the air vents. It wasn't until then that it was investigated.

O'Ratley: Come now McRabbit. Brere wolf was already under investigation for the disappearances of Big Pig, Little Pig, Speckled Pig, & was intensely questioned for the murder of Blunt pig but was released due to lack of evidence. How is it possible that Runt Pig, who by far is the smallest in stature of the deceased, was able to brutally murder Brere Wolf all by himself? Pigs aren't equipped to combat such a natural born killer: excuse my saying so. The prosecution has Stated that Wolf was breaking & entering and Runt Pig was forced to use the only resources he had available to defend himself. I have to say McRabbit, that's by far a more convincing argument than a victimized wolf.

McRabbit: Tell me Mr O'ratly, wouldn't you have had the sense to report a foul crime Immediately after the occurrence if you were innocent. Dont you think....

O'Ratley: (Cutting him off) Lets not forget how the body of Wolf was found in the chimney Mr. McRabbit. Evidence shows that he was faced down inside that chimney, indicating the point of entry was from outside the home. Highly unlikely that one would try to escape a fearsome killer pig rear first. (Laughs conceitedly). I'm sorry but this pinhead had what was coming to him.

Mc Rabbit: Well I guess it's up for the jury to decide.

O'Ratley: Yes you're right (Directly to camera) Especially since the entire jury consists of Woodland creatures who at some point or another has had a run in with these encumbrances on society. The wolf. Indeed, the jury will decide. (Back to McRabbit) Lets hope for your sake Mr Mcrabbit that Brere Wolf has had something to eat before your next reconvene. (He laughs)

McRabbit; (Sarcastically) Yes. Lets hope. Need I Remind you that...

O'Ratley: Well that's all the time we have for tonight.

McRabbit; My client is innoc....

O'Ratley: That that that that's all folks! We'll see you next time on the O'ratley factor!