The Big Bad Wolf

Your Honor, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury,

The story of the three little pigs is a sad story – a very sad one. It is a story about a heartless and cruel creature taking advantage of poor innocent pigs. It is a story of cruelty and heartlessness in its most ugly form. A story of a cold-blooded, calculated and manipulative serial killer trying in a perverted sort of way to justify his beastly actions. But as we all know a wrong is a wrong however best you present it and no one with any human pity and love in his or her soul should ever accept Mr Alexander T. Wolf’s nebulous justification for the murders and cannibalization of the poor innocent pigs. Mr Wolf’s account of what actually happened is incoherent and far from believable.
According to one version – he had many versions as all lies are - he said he was making a birthday cake for his grandmother; he had a terrible sneezing cold and he ran out of sugar!!! He then went to Young Snouty Piggy, his nearest neighbor, to ask for a cup of sugar. Whilst at the door he sneezed and down came the entire hut. The pig died and Mr Wolf had his first meal… The same thing happened when he went to Hairy Piggy’s, house. Mr Wolf had his second meal. But was that really what happened? Definitely not. In the first place what sort of sneeze will bring down a house?... Mr Wolf’s account is indeed a direct insult to our intelligence. In any case if Mr Wolf was having such a terrible sneezing cold, why does he have to run around in the dark? Why didn’t he go to the hospital?... Of course we know why! Because Mr Wolf was not having a cold. In fact he was not sick at all, as testified by Doctor Chimpzee the Prison Surgeon. At the time of his arrest Mr Wolf was as healthy as an ox. He was instead having the shake- the shake for blood. So armed with sticks and axes, he rushed to the two younger Piggys’ residences and one after the other break into their houses, murdered them and ate them up. He was on Biggy Piggy’s residence when Sissy Catty Kat saw him and alerted the Citizen’s Police. So there you are Ladies and Gentlemen.
That creature over there is a menace to our society. He is not fit to live among us. Not now. Not ever. It is the two poor little pigs today. But it may be your own little kids tomorrow. Or it may even be you. So you will do us all a great service if you permanently removed such a vice from amongst us. We request you to bring in a Guilty Verdict… Thank you and God save us all…