Reporting live from the Court House in Queensden! This is Sally Atkins with the Foxy 7 network giving you the most recent news at the fastest time. Today we are covering the scandalous story of the Pig family massacre of two pig brothers that were allegedly slaughtered by Mr. A Wolf. Let’s go to the Courtroom at this moment where this case is winding up.
Judge: Please allow the mother pig, Mrs. Quirky Pig to take the stand in her deceased son’s defense.
Mrs. Quirky Pig: Your Honor, that bastard Mr. A Wolf took no compassion when my poor babies were begging for their lives. He walked in, saw that they were alone and helpless and devoured them I tell you! I am a mother, your honor, I can sense these things and I can sense that this monster murdered my dear babies. I beg of you only show him the compassion that he has shown my sons.
Judge: Thank you, Mrs. Pig. Next we will have final arguments from Mr. A Wolf before I enter a verdict.
Mr. A Wolf: Your honor, if there was anyone that had been shown no compassion and was a monster it was the Pig family and not myself. I would like all of you to put yourselves in my shoes. Just because I have been born of the wolf nature does NOT mean that I am a monster and cannot control my urges. Imagine how lonely I am in my days being isolated because all of civilization is frightened of me. I never meant to kill Benjamin and Franklin Pig. If anything they died because of their hostile natures and sinful actions! You see they have always been intimidated by me living near them. They have been trying to kill me for years! You see, just that morning they had brought me donuts sprinkled in anthrax that not only made me sick but gave me a terrible sneeze with all that powder floating around. When I went to their houses to borrow some sugar I did indeed sneeze and accidentally kill them, but you see it was their own fault! They were in fact trying to kill me!
Thirty minutes later….
Judge: With the accusations of Mr. Wolf the defense had went ahead and done some testing on the donuts given to Mr. Wolf by the pig brothers on that wretched morning and indeed there had been anthrax on them. With this I have no other option but to let Mr. Wolf out and enter the verdict not guilty.
So there we have it folks! Mr. Wolf out of jail and possibly roaming in your neighborhoods! Stay on the lookout!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Justice for Mr. A Wolf
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is American Animal protection organization, tonight we are at the downtown Brooklyn animal shelter to visit animals that were being abused or abandoned. And here we met with Mr. A Wolf, and he told us how he became a homeless to this animal shelter.
Reporter: Mr. A Wolf, why are you here at the animal shelter tonight?
Mr. A Wolf: I was just released from prison and planed to return home after 15 years of jail for the accused of murdering two little pigs. But the whole animal community and the little pigs’ family were highly disagree and didn’t welcome me back to the neighbor. They spitted at me, threw stones behind me and called me Big Bad Wolf. I didn’t kill those two pigs. I was a victim of that incident too.
Reporter: So what’s really happened 15 years ago?
Mr. A Wolf: Well, it was July xx, 1995; it’s the hottest day of the year. Everyone stayed home to avoid the heat. I didn’t want to go out either, but it was my granny’s birthday, and I didn’t want her to be sad, so I decided to visit her. On my way to granny’s house, I saw a big black shadow following me. I turned back to find out what that is then I saw big black bear moving towards me. I was shocked and started to run, soon I reached the little pig’s house, I warned him about the big black bear, but he didn’t believe me, and asked me to go away. As the bear came closer I climbed into the tree to hind myself. The bear came and knocked down little pig’s straw house. The house fell down and poor little was buried under the straw. The bear didn’t see little pigs body and went away. I came down the tree and found little pig was dead. Out of the sympathy for not letting the little pig’s body exposed to the sun, I ate him. And then I realized that little pig’s brother big pig may have danger also. So I rushed off to his stick house. Again, big pig didn’t believe what I told him. And the same thing happened to big pig, his home was destroyed by the bear, he was found dead under the stick.
Reporter: How you were sued and put in prison for 15 years pigs?
Mr. A Wolf: After witness of the tragedies, I was very sad and sympathetic with the pigs’ family. I decided to tell the bad news to their brother tiny pig. But that craze little tiny pig not even didn’t trust me but insisted that I was the one who killed and ate their brothers. He called the police and I was arrested. Because I was the only witness of the incident, nobody in the court believed my words and I was found guilty of murdering two little pigs.
Reporter: I felt great sympathy for Mr. A Wolf. I hope people who also had witness this incident would stand out to tell the truth and give justice to Mr. A Wolf.
Reporter: Mr. A Wolf, why are you here at the animal shelter tonight?
Mr. A Wolf: I was just released from prison and planed to return home after 15 years of jail for the accused of murdering two little pigs. But the whole animal community and the little pigs’ family were highly disagree and didn’t welcome me back to the neighbor. They spitted at me, threw stones behind me and called me Big Bad Wolf. I didn’t kill those two pigs. I was a victim of that incident too.
Reporter: So what’s really happened 15 years ago?
Mr. A Wolf: Well, it was July xx, 1995; it’s the hottest day of the year. Everyone stayed home to avoid the heat. I didn’t want to go out either, but it was my granny’s birthday, and I didn’t want her to be sad, so I decided to visit her. On my way to granny’s house, I saw a big black shadow following me. I turned back to find out what that is then I saw big black bear moving towards me. I was shocked and started to run, soon I reached the little pig’s house, I warned him about the big black bear, but he didn’t believe me, and asked me to go away. As the bear came closer I climbed into the tree to hind myself. The bear came and knocked down little pig’s straw house. The house fell down and poor little was buried under the straw. The bear didn’t see little pigs body and went away. I came down the tree and found little pig was dead. Out of the sympathy for not letting the little pig’s body exposed to the sun, I ate him. And then I realized that little pig’s brother big pig may have danger also. So I rushed off to his stick house. Again, big pig didn’t believe what I told him. And the same thing happened to big pig, his home was destroyed by the bear, he was found dead under the stick.
Reporter: How you were sued and put in prison for 15 years pigs?
Mr. A Wolf: After witness of the tragedies, I was very sad and sympathetic with the pigs’ family. I decided to tell the bad news to their brother tiny pig. But that craze little tiny pig not even didn’t trust me but insisted that I was the one who killed and ate their brothers. He called the police and I was arrested. Because I was the only witness of the incident, nobody in the court believed my words and I was found guilty of murdering two little pigs.
Reporter: I felt great sympathy for Mr. A Wolf. I hope people who also had witness this incident would stand out to tell the truth and give justice to Mr. A Wolf.
Tonight special~! Broadcasting wolf's trail
Hello everyone! Tonight special! We will broadcast a trail; the true story of the three little pigs!
Judgment> The defense lawyer please speak.
Defense lawyer> Your Honor, in this incident, the suspect Mr. Alexander committed the crime not purposely. At that time, following the investigation, he went to first and second pigs home, and he very purposely tried to blow the two houses away by snuffing and sneezing. But Mr. Alexander has been having a serious cold for couples of months, and I submit the prescription for the cold as evidence.
Prosecution> sir! I have an objection! The defense lawyer is mentioning the not related point to this crime!!
Judgment> I allowed the evidence. Submit that prescriptions and keep going.
Defense lawyer> Also, he stopped by those pigs’ houses not for killing but sugar. According to the testimony of Alexander’s neighborhood, right before the incident, he was cooking cake, and some neighborhood actually could smell cooking cake which is same as Alexander’s statement. Moreover, at the scene of crime, there was no deadly weapon to kill pigs. Most important thing is that the way and imprints of crashed houses are just like homes of Hurricane swept area. So to speak, Mr. Alexander did not use any bombs or trespassed to the houses, houses were collapsed by strong wind. Mr. Alexander crime may look unacceptable, but we have to consider that this crime is caused by his tradition and custom descended from his ancestor. Eating pigs is their old custom. As a not assimilated persona into this New Pigs State; his crime started from ignorance rather than being heinous. So, we should teach him and assimilate him into this society though strong community service and repentance rather than rigorous and meaningless punishments.
Judge> Prosecutor party, please make a last counterargument.
Prosecutor> For this crime, defense attorney are confused between the purpose of reformation and punishment. Whether he purposed or not, we should remind the scene. When Mr. Alexander reached second pig’s home, pig shouted not to come in. But he sniffed and sneezed toward pigs house, and finally he blown the house away. At this point, we can guess how heinous he is. In spite of he had blown the first pig’s house and eaten him, he did same thing again. It shows that he should not be exposed in the public. As the defense lawyer said, the wolf’s ignorance could make tragedy for innocent and pigs’ family. So, he must separate from this society thoroughly.
Judge> We listened well both party’s opinions, and after 10 minutes break, I will reach a verdict with the Jury.
Studio> Thank you for reporting. It is hard to make a decision because the both arguments sound very plausible. How do you think? You also try to think about your decision, and we will right back after the commercials.
Fade out music> bababababab~~`
Judgment> The defense lawyer please speak.
Defense lawyer> Your Honor, in this incident, the suspect Mr. Alexander committed the crime not purposely. At that time, following the investigation, he went to first and second pigs home, and he very purposely tried to blow the two houses away by snuffing and sneezing. But Mr. Alexander has been having a serious cold for couples of months, and I submit the prescription for the cold as evidence.
Prosecution> sir! I have an objection! The defense lawyer is mentioning the not related point to this crime!!
Judgment> I allowed the evidence. Submit that prescriptions and keep going.
Defense lawyer> Also, he stopped by those pigs’ houses not for killing but sugar. According to the testimony of Alexander’s neighborhood, right before the incident, he was cooking cake, and some neighborhood actually could smell cooking cake which is same as Alexander’s statement. Moreover, at the scene of crime, there was no deadly weapon to kill pigs. Most important thing is that the way and imprints of crashed houses are just like homes of Hurricane swept area. So to speak, Mr. Alexander did not use any bombs or trespassed to the houses, houses were collapsed by strong wind. Mr. Alexander crime may look unacceptable, but we have to consider that this crime is caused by his tradition and custom descended from his ancestor. Eating pigs is their old custom. As a not assimilated persona into this New Pigs State; his crime started from ignorance rather than being heinous. So, we should teach him and assimilate him into this society though strong community service and repentance rather than rigorous and meaningless punishments.
Judge> Prosecutor party, please make a last counterargument.
Prosecutor> For this crime, defense attorney are confused between the purpose of reformation and punishment. Whether he purposed or not, we should remind the scene. When Mr. Alexander reached second pig’s home, pig shouted not to come in. But he sniffed and sneezed toward pigs house, and finally he blown the house away. At this point, we can guess how heinous he is. In spite of he had blown the first pig’s house and eaten him, he did same thing again. It shows that he should not be exposed in the public. As the defense lawyer said, the wolf’s ignorance could make tragedy for innocent and pigs’ family. So, he must separate from this society thoroughly.
Judge> We listened well both party’s opinions, and after 10 minutes break, I will reach a verdict with the Jury.
Studio> Thank you for reporting. It is hard to make a decision because the both arguments sound very plausible. How do you think? You also try to think about your decision, and we will right back after the commercials.
Fade out music> bababababab~~`
E! True Hollywood Story: Alexander T. Wolf
VOICE OVER: Tonight E! investigates the horrifying deaths of Rupert and Benjamin Pig—two brothers allegedly killed by the biggest and the baddest wolf around town, Alexander T. Wolf. Who exactly is Alexander T. Wolf? Is he really responsible for the murders? Tonight E! speaks to a few of the most crucial people involved in the case…
GRANNY T. WOLF: (adjusting her glasses) Oh my, Al was always such a good, good boy. He was never one to start any kind of trouble. He was such a fine boy with a good head on his shoulders. Ever night he would prepare dinner for the two of us and we’d eat by the fire. I would tell him stories from my childhood and we would reminisce about the late Gregory and Sylvia T. Wolf (Alexander’s parents). Al was a kind and considerate young wolf. I could never imagine him capable of doing such a thing to two innocent pigs…
FRANKLIN PIG (Rupert and Benjamin Pig’s older brother): I frankly don’t understand why you people keep questioning me about the case. It is clear that Mr. Wolf is a violent and aggressive character that killed my younger brothers. Rupert and Benjamin were very generous—they would give the skin off their backs for a person in need. Had Mr. Wolf really been searching for a cup of sugar, Rupert and Benjamin would have offered him a full bag along with a cup of tea or coffee.
MR. AND MRS. PIG (Rupert, Benjamin and Franklin’s parents)
MRS. PIG (weeping uncontrollably): That…wolf…murdered…my two youngest little pigs. I would never wish death upon anyone, but Mr. Wolf deserves the closest thing to it.
MR. PIG (consoling his wife): She has trouble sleeping at night. She has lost a great deal of weight dealing with the stress and anxiety. I can’t rest until I know Mr. Wolf has been put away for life.
VOICE OVER: After fourteen long and dreadful months of trials and investigations…the chief investigator PETER D. BROOKS tells E! what granted Mr. Alexander Wolf freedom…
PETER D. BROOKS: For the longest time, we did not have very much evidence to go on. Nothing that really proved him innocent and nothing that really proved him guilty. However, now we have the piece of evidence that will clear Mr. Wolf’s name forever… the remains of a glass-measuring cup found at the scene of the crime. The remnants have just returned from the lab with fingerprint and DNA evidence linking the glass measuring cup with Mr. Alexander T. Wolf therefore proving him INNOCENT.
ALEXANDER T. WOLF: I told you people I never murdered those two little delicious tasting pigs. Now, please, would SOMEBODY lend me some sugar?
E! True Hollywood Story: Alexander T. Wolf
VOICE OVER: Tonight E! investigates the horrifying deaths of Rupert and Benjamin Pig—two brothers allegedly killed by the biggest and the baddest wolf around town, Alexander T. Wolf. Who exactly is Alexander T. Wolf? Is he really responsible for the murders? Tonight E! speaks to a few of the most crucial people involved in the case…
GRANNY T. WOLF: (adjusting her glasses) Oh my, Al was always such a good, good boy. He was never one to start any kind of trouble. He was such a fine boy with a good head on his shoulders. Ever night he would prepare dinner for the two of us and we’d eat by the fire. I would tell him stories from my childhood and we would reminisce about the late Gregory and Sylvia T. Wolf (Alexander’s parents). Al was a kind and considerate young wolf. I could never imagine him capable of doing such a thing to two innocent pigs…
FRANKLIN PIG (Rupert and Benjamin Pig’s older brother): I frankly don’t understand why you people keep questioning me about the case. It is clear that Mr. Wolf is a violent and aggressive character that killed my younger brothers. Rupert and Benjamin were very generous—they would give the skin off their backs for a person in need. Had Mr. Wolf really been searching for a cup of sugar, Rupert and Benjamin would have offered him a full bag along with a cup of tea or coffee.
MR. AND MRS. PIG (Rupert, Benjamin and Franklin’s parents)
MRS. PIG (weeping uncontrollably): That…wolf…murdered…my two youngest little pigs. I would never wish death upon anyone, but Mr. Wolf deserves the closest thing to it.
MR. PIG (consoling his wife): She has trouble sleeping at night. She has lost a great deal of weight dealing with the stress and anxiety. I can’t rest until I know Mr. Wolf has been put away for life.
VOICE OVER: After fourteen long and dreadful months of trials and investigations…the chief investigator PETER D. BROOKS tells E! what granted Mr. Alexander Wolf freedom…
PETER D. BROOKS: For the longest time, we did not have very much evidence to go on. Nothing that really proved him innocent and nothing that really proved him guilty. However, now we have the piece of evidence that will clear Mr. Wolf’s name forever… the remains of a glass-measuring cup found at the scene of the crime. The remnants have just returned from the lab after being examined for fingerprints/DNA/any of type of evidence that could link the particular measuring cup with Mr. Wolf and that in fact, is exactly what was found.
ALEXANDER T. WOLF: I told you people I never murdered those two little delicious tasting pigs. Now, please, would SOMEBODY lend me some sugar?
A.T WOLF GUILTY! CALLS FOR THE ELIMINATION OF SWINE RACE!
A.T WOLF GUILTY! CALLS FOR THE ELIMINATION OF SWINE RACE!
The following is the eyewitness account of Mr. Bunny Rabbit who was on the scene when the atrocious attack on Pig brothers occurred.
Bailiff: Mr. Bunny Rabbit, do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Mr. Bunny Rabbit (MR): I certainly do! (Aggressively)
Prosecuting Attorney (PA): Can you tell us where you were on the night of May 1st?
MR: I was in my bunny hole, watching TV when I heard stomping and yelling outside.
PA: Can you be more specific? What kind of stomping and yelling did you hear exactly?
MR: I stuck my head out, and was about to yell at whoever was making all this raucous, when I saw A.T Wolf. He was walking up and down in front of Harold J. Pig’s house of straw. I knew something was not right when I saw that he was yelling and talking to himself.
PA: How far away were you from Mr. Wolf?
MR: I was about six feet away in my hole!
PA: Had you seen the accused wolf before?
MR: Yes, I saw him three nights before, standing outside of Harold’s house, looking very thin and talking to himself. I heard him say, “I can’t stand it anymore! I’m hungry! I’m hungry!”
PA: How many days before was this?
MR: Three days before!
PA: And then what did you see Mr. Rabbit?
MR: On the morning of the crime, I saw that violent menace to society, A.T Wolf, walk up to Harold J. Pig’s house of straw and start banging on the door.
A.T Wolf: No, no! It’s not true!
MR: Yes it is! It’s true and you know it!
PA: What else did you see, Mr. Rabbit?
MR: Harold J. Pig came to the window and pleaded for A.T Wolf to go away.
PA: What did Harold J. Pig say exactly?
MR: I heard him say, “Go away! I won’t let you in! You can’t make me!”
Defense Attorney: I object! Leading the witness!
Judge: Overruled. Please continue, Mr. Rabbit.
MR: Then I saw A.T Wolf drag over an enormous fan, turn it on, and place it directly in front of Harold’s house! It blew over his house of straw! No one deserves such a sadistic attack! That was unwarranted!
Defense Attorney: I object!
PA: What did this fan look like?
MR: It was one of those enormous window fans. He had in his car!
PA: Then what did you see?
MR: The fan blew the house over and in went A.T Wolf! It looked completely premeditated if you ask me. On top of that, I saw him jump inside and grab Harold J. Pig and eat him alive with one gulp.
Jury: No, no! (Gasping at gore)
PA: What did you see next?
MR: I saw him go to Arthur P. Pig’s house of sticks, using the very same fan from before. That heinous wolf grabbed Arthur P. Pig by his curly pig tail and woofed him down. Then he continued to Arnold M. Pig’s brick house, but instead, took out a sledgehammer and started banging on it, yelling “death to all swine!” That’s when the police showed up.
A.T Wolf: It’s true! All swine should be wiped from the face of the earth! Death to all swine! And you too, you stinking little rabbit! I’ll get you and all of your bunny rabbit babies!
Judge: Order, order in the court. Thank you Mr. Bunny Rabbit for your testimony. You may step down. What is your verdict jury?
Jury: We, the jury, find A. T. Wolf, guilty as charged. He’s guilty! He’s guilty!
Judge: So be it! Guilty as charged! Bailiff take this wolf away!
The following is the eyewitness account of Mr. Bunny Rabbit who was on the scene when the atrocious attack on Pig brothers occurred.
Bailiff: Mr. Bunny Rabbit, do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Mr. Bunny Rabbit (MR): I certainly do! (Aggressively)
Prosecuting Attorney (PA): Can you tell us where you were on the night of May 1st?
MR: I was in my bunny hole, watching TV when I heard stomping and yelling outside.
PA: Can you be more specific? What kind of stomping and yelling did you hear exactly?
MR: I stuck my head out, and was about to yell at whoever was making all this raucous, when I saw A.T Wolf. He was walking up and down in front of Harold J. Pig’s house of straw. I knew something was not right when I saw that he was yelling and talking to himself.
PA: How far away were you from Mr. Wolf?
MR: I was about six feet away in my hole!
PA: Had you seen the accused wolf before?
MR: Yes, I saw him three nights before, standing outside of Harold’s house, looking very thin and talking to himself. I heard him say, “I can’t stand it anymore! I’m hungry! I’m hungry!”
PA: How many days before was this?
MR: Three days before!
PA: And then what did you see Mr. Rabbit?
MR: On the morning of the crime, I saw that violent menace to society, A.T Wolf, walk up to Harold J. Pig’s house of straw and start banging on the door.
A.T Wolf: No, no! It’s not true!
MR: Yes it is! It’s true and you know it!
PA: What else did you see, Mr. Rabbit?
MR: Harold J. Pig came to the window and pleaded for A.T Wolf to go away.
PA: What did Harold J. Pig say exactly?
MR: I heard him say, “Go away! I won’t let you in! You can’t make me!”
Defense Attorney: I object! Leading the witness!
Judge: Overruled. Please continue, Mr. Rabbit.
MR: Then I saw A.T Wolf drag over an enormous fan, turn it on, and place it directly in front of Harold’s house! It blew over his house of straw! No one deserves such a sadistic attack! That was unwarranted!
Defense Attorney: I object!
PA: What did this fan look like?
MR: It was one of those enormous window fans. He had in his car!
PA: Then what did you see?
MR: The fan blew the house over and in went A.T Wolf! It looked completely premeditated if you ask me. On top of that, I saw him jump inside and grab Harold J. Pig and eat him alive with one gulp.
Jury: No, no! (Gasping at gore)
PA: What did you see next?
MR: I saw him go to Arthur P. Pig’s house of sticks, using the very same fan from before. That heinous wolf grabbed Arthur P. Pig by his curly pig tail and woofed him down. Then he continued to Arnold M. Pig’s brick house, but instead, took out a sledgehammer and started banging on it, yelling “death to all swine!” That’s when the police showed up.
A.T Wolf: It’s true! All swine should be wiped from the face of the earth! Death to all swine! And you too, you stinking little rabbit! I’ll get you and all of your bunny rabbit babies!
Judge: Order, order in the court. Thank you Mr. Bunny Rabbit for your testimony. You may step down. What is your verdict jury?
Jury: We, the jury, find A. T. Wolf, guilty as charged. He’s guilty! He’s guilty!
Judge: So be it! Guilty as charged! Bailiff take this wolf away!
Wolf Breaks His Silence
Reporter: Welcome to the New York #1 News! Today we here live at the Supreme Court with breaking news that the Big Bad Wolf is breaking his silence and telling the real motive behind his murder of the two brother pigs. Now let us look at the trial:
Before the Supreme Court is the Big Bad Wold by the name of Alexander T. Wolf. Mr. Wolf was accused of murdering the two brother pigs, Manny and Mo. Apparently, evidence showed that the broken down houses had Mr. Wolf's saliva on it and Mr. Wolf was arrested from his home one hour later. Mr. Wolf was sentenced a death penalty. However, today Mr. Wolf decides to defend himself making the judge and juror change their decisions.
Judge: Mr. Wolf, we have evidence that showed you murdered the two pigs, Manny and Mo.
Mr. Wolf: Your honor, I have something I must tell you. There must have beem a mistake. I paid Mother Pig for her children.
(The courtroom filled with gasps and murmurs.)
Judge: Silence Mr. Wolf! Why would Mother Pig want to kill her own children?
Mr. Wolf: Well, you see, it was a compromise. In our socitey today, kids need to know Darwin's idea of survival of the fittest. Mother Pig had come to me all the time complaining about how much she hate herself for raising up Manny and Mo. Manny is so lazy and sleeps all the time. He does not work and makes no contribution to the society. Mo is the same. Mo is lazy and only cares about food. Both brothers are a drag to society. Of course, you have to remember, Mother Pig was the one that decided it was time for her children to be independent. Of course, the third brother, Jack, is still alive today because he passed the test. His hard work earned him his life. His brothers failed the test. Their laziness had cost them their lives. Once again, I did pay for the pigs and Mother Pig did tell me that there is no guarantee that I will get my money's worth if all of them had made their houses strong enough to not collapse when I sneeze. Therefore, I do not find myself guilty of murdering Manny and Mo. I was only helping Mother Pig and the society. Eating them was a solution to overpopulation of lazy and useless animals. Also, it would be a lesson for the third brother pig to tell his sons that in order to survive in the society, hard work will guide them to success in life.
After hearing Mr. Wolf's reasons for his actions, the judge and jurors were quite remorse for pleading Mr. Wolf guilty. Another hearing will be made one month following today for the final decision. Will Mr Wolf's reasons change his destiny? Does that mean that Mr. Wolf is not guilty? Do you feel that Mr. Wolf is guilty? Stay tune with us at the New York #1 News! See you next time!
Before the Supreme Court is the Big Bad Wold by the name of Alexander T. Wolf. Mr. Wolf was accused of murdering the two brother pigs, Manny and Mo. Apparently, evidence showed that the broken down houses had Mr. Wolf's saliva on it and Mr. Wolf was arrested from his home one hour later. Mr. Wolf was sentenced a death penalty. However, today Mr. Wolf decides to defend himself making the judge and juror change their decisions.
Judge: Mr. Wolf, we have evidence that showed you murdered the two pigs, Manny and Mo.
Mr. Wolf: Your honor, I have something I must tell you. There must have beem a mistake. I paid Mother Pig for her children.
(The courtroom filled with gasps and murmurs.)
Judge: Silence Mr. Wolf! Why would Mother Pig want to kill her own children?
Mr. Wolf: Well, you see, it was a compromise. In our socitey today, kids need to know Darwin's idea of survival of the fittest. Mother Pig had come to me all the time complaining about how much she hate herself for raising up Manny and Mo. Manny is so lazy and sleeps all the time. He does not work and makes no contribution to the society. Mo is the same. Mo is lazy and only cares about food. Both brothers are a drag to society. Of course, you have to remember, Mother Pig was the one that decided it was time for her children to be independent. Of course, the third brother, Jack, is still alive today because he passed the test. His hard work earned him his life. His brothers failed the test. Their laziness had cost them their lives. Once again, I did pay for the pigs and Mother Pig did tell me that there is no guarantee that I will get my money's worth if all of them had made their houses strong enough to not collapse when I sneeze. Therefore, I do not find myself guilty of murdering Manny and Mo. I was only helping Mother Pig and the society. Eating them was a solution to overpopulation of lazy and useless animals. Also, it would be a lesson for the third brother pig to tell his sons that in order to survive in the society, hard work will guide them to success in life.
After hearing Mr. Wolf's reasons for his actions, the judge and jurors were quite remorse for pleading Mr. Wolf guilty. Another hearing will be made one month following today for the final decision. Will Mr Wolf's reasons change his destiny? Does that mean that Mr. Wolf is not guilty? Do you feel that Mr. Wolf is guilty? Stay tune with us at the New York #1 News! See you next time!
CSI: Nursery
(At the crime scene)
Joratio: What do we have here Blank?
Blank: Two broken houses and two dead pigs. The two victims name is Frank and Steve. They are both brothers. Frank is the youngest one. The oldest brother Tom is giving background information to the police officer.
Joratio: It looks like Steve was attacked from behind while he was shaving.
Blank: Steve got caught with his pants down. Judging by how their bodies’ looks like, I say they pissed off the wrong person.
Joratio: (Looks around and sees the vomit) Take a look at this Tank. It looks like there is a footprint. What’s more, there seems to be something in there. *Staring at the vomit*
Blank: It looks like it’s from a piece of clothing. The victim must have retaliated and ripped the suspect’s clothing in the process.
Joratio: Looks like our attacker
*puts on sunglasses*
Bit off more than he could chew.
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blank: Ummmm…Yeah…I am going back to the station. Falter is at Frank’s house
taking pictures. You might want to talk to him.
(At Frank’s house)
Joratio: This looks like the same piece of clothing found at Steve’s house.
Falter: Seems to be a piece of clothing from a dress.
Joratio: It’s not just from any dress. It’s from a muumuu dress.
Falter: Muumuu dress? That can’t be right. The suspect is a 25 year old wolf. Muumuu dresses are wore by grandmothers. Something doesn’t add up unless our 25 year old suspect likes playing dress up.
Joratio: I am going to have a talk with the suspect. If you find anything else, give me a call.
(Across the street)
Joratio: What is your name?
Alexander: Alexander T. Wolf. Call me Al.
Joratio: Ok, Al. Did you kill those two pigs?
Al: No I didn’t. I swear. I found the two pigs like that. I didn’t touch them.
Joratio: Give me the whole story.
Al: I knocked on the first pig’s door and nobody answered. For some reason the door suddenly fell down so I decided to go in to have a look around. I found the first pig’s body on the floor with huge slash marks. I got scared so I ran out to the door. On my way out, I slipped on something and knocked down the support that was holding the straw house up. The straw house fell and I ran away. I went to the second pig’s house hoping I could tell him that his brother died. I knocked on the door and he told me he will come out after he was done shaving. But that was when I heard a glass break and some grunting noise. I kicked down the door and ran inside. I noticed the bathroom window was opened and found the second pig on the floor. It looked like he had been stabbed multiple times. I got scared again and ran out, knocking down the support that held up the stick house. The stick house fell and I kept on running. I didn’t care where I was and who I hit. I just wanted to get out.
Joratio: That explains why the houses were collapsed. What happened next?
Al: When I stopped, I noticed that I was at that third pig’s house. I knocked on the door and the pig told me to get lost and not to bother him. At that time, I was catching my breath after all that running. When I was going to tell him about what happened to his brothers, he made a sexual reference about my granny.
Joratio: What did he say?
Al: He told me that my granny can sit on a pin. That was when I got angry and try to take down his door. (Wiping sweat off his face)
Joratio: What you told me doesn’t explain why you were knocking on Frank’s door.
Al: Frank was late with my granny’s sugar and I was told to check up on them.
Joratio: Who told you to check up on them?
Al: Well…ahh… it was my granny. She told me to go ask why her sugar packages were late.
Joratio: (Joratio shows Al the piece of dress) Does this look familiar to you?
Al: That look like it’s the same dress my granny wears. Wait…it can’t be.
Joratio: Al, what are these sugar packages? I can’t help you if don’t tell me.
Al: (sighs). Ok, Ok. It’s cocaine.
Joratio: That police will take your statement. Tell him what you told me. I am going to have a chat with your granny…tomorrow.
Stranger: I hope you don't believe what he told you.
Joratio: And who might you be?
Stranger: My name is Tom and I am the third oldest brother. I don't believe a word that wolf said. You shouldn't either because my brothers would never do drugs.
Joratio: The evidences does support Alexander's statement and the drugs found in your brothers' houses doesn't support your claim.
Tom: That wolf planned the evidences. No...maybe you cops did it. I don't trust any of you.
(The following day at the office)
Blank: Joratio, you have to read this. I found this news clip that has infoma…
Joratio: You read it to me. I am too cool to read it.
Blank: Oh come on… fine… asshole. The news clip reads:
BREAKING: TWO FOUND DEAD, MURDERED AT HOME
By: William Tsang
Published on Feb. 25, 2009
Two brothers were found dead at their own home in southeast Fairy Tale in what was believed to be a homicide, the police said.
Investigators believed that a wolf named Susan Wolf stabbed and killed Frank, and Steve Pig. Officers was unable to find the murder weapon but witnesses say that they saw a wolf ran out of the two victims houses and seeing it collapse right after.
“I saw a wolf run out of the Frank’s straw house. The wolf was running so fast, it knocked down a turtle and didn’t bother helping him flip back up. As I was going to help the turtle up, I heard a loud sound and I saw the straw house collapse. It was horrible,” a rabbit, Daniel Dash, said, with shock.
Local police officers were unable to locate Ms. Wolf. The police officers raided Ms. Wolf’s home this morning and found cocaine wrapped in brown paper bags labeled “sugar”. Police commissioner Jordan authorized road blocks in hope to find Ms. Wolf.
According to the police, Frank was slashed multiple times and bled to dead on the floor. His brother Steve was fatally stabbed in the chest where it punctuated his lungs. Medical examiners believed that the knife did not kill Steve. Instead, it left Steve grasping for air because he died.
During the search, the police have found cocaine in a secret basement in the two pigs’ home which led the police to believe that Frank and Steve were either drug users or drug dealers.
Neighbors have said to have seen the two boys carrying huge clear bags that contain white powdery substance.
Their oldest brother Tom described his two brothers as outgoing and would never do anything illegal.
“That’s impossible. There is no way my brothers would do something like this. Sure most of the time Frank and Steve were goofy and build houses out of straws and sticks, that doesn’t mean they are drug users. The wolf must have put the cocaine there.”
The suspect, Ms. Wolf was said to be a disturbed person with a horrible attitude. She is said to beat up anyone that doesn’t agree with her.
“I am not surprised if Ms. Wolf is the murderer. Once she beat up a goldfish because the goldfish disagreed with her. They were arguing whether or not fishes need to stay in the water. Ms. Wolf forced the goldfish to stay on land. If it wasn’t for everyone in this neighborhood who put the goldfish back in the fish tank, the goldfish would have died of dehydration,” a lion, Simba said, with anger.
During the search on Frank’s and Steve’s house, Detective Joratio Haine found a piece of clothing that belongs to Ms. Wolf. That was the initial evidences that shifted the investigators attention away from Ms. Wolf’s grandson, Alexander T. Wolf.
Alexander was the first suspect that the police had into custody because an eyewitness claimed to have seen him run out of the victims’ house. Later reports indicated however that Alexander was not the murderer. He was merely at the wrong place or the wrong time. The victims’ house collapsed was blamed for poor architectural design. Thanks to Detective Joratio Haine who found supporting evidence which cleared Alexander. A piece of clothing was found at the scene of the crime similar to Ms. Wolf’s muumuu dress, led the police to believe that Ms. Wolf was the attacker. The police report indicates that Alexander was merely an errand boy for Ms. Wolf. Apparently Ms. Wolf was a drug dealer who disguises her drugs by putting them in paper bags marked with the word “sugar”.
(Blank slams the newspaper on to the desk)
Joratio: How did our findings and Al’s police statement get leak to the press?
Blank: Must have been an inside job. Someone must have given him the information otherwise he couldn’t have known. I think we need to bring this (looks at newspaper) William Tsang in for questioning.
Joratio: Well, it seems like William found the leak
*puts on sunglasses*
Before we were able to plug it.
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joratio: What do we have here Blank?
Blank: Two broken houses and two dead pigs. The two victims name is Frank and Steve. They are both brothers. Frank is the youngest one. The oldest brother Tom is giving background information to the police officer.
Joratio: It looks like Steve was attacked from behind while he was shaving.
Blank: Steve got caught with his pants down. Judging by how their bodies’ looks like, I say they pissed off the wrong person.
Joratio: (Looks around and sees the vomit) Take a look at this Tank. It looks like there is a footprint. What’s more, there seems to be something in there. *Staring at the vomit*
Blank: It looks like it’s from a piece of clothing. The victim must have retaliated and ripped the suspect’s clothing in the process.
Joratio: Looks like our attacker
*puts on sunglasses*
Bit off more than he could chew.
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blank: Ummmm…Yeah…I am going back to the station. Falter is at Frank’s house
taking pictures. You might want to talk to him.
(At Frank’s house)
Joratio: This looks like the same piece of clothing found at Steve’s house.
Falter: Seems to be a piece of clothing from a dress.
Joratio: It’s not just from any dress. It’s from a muumuu dress.
Falter: Muumuu dress? That can’t be right. The suspect is a 25 year old wolf. Muumuu dresses are wore by grandmothers. Something doesn’t add up unless our 25 year old suspect likes playing dress up.
Joratio: I am going to have a talk with the suspect. If you find anything else, give me a call.
(Across the street)
Joratio: What is your name?
Alexander: Alexander T. Wolf. Call me Al.
Joratio: Ok, Al. Did you kill those two pigs?
Al: No I didn’t. I swear. I found the two pigs like that. I didn’t touch them.
Joratio: Give me the whole story.
Al: I knocked on the first pig’s door and nobody answered. For some reason the door suddenly fell down so I decided to go in to have a look around. I found the first pig’s body on the floor with huge slash marks. I got scared so I ran out to the door. On my way out, I slipped on something and knocked down the support that was holding the straw house up. The straw house fell and I ran away. I went to the second pig’s house hoping I could tell him that his brother died. I knocked on the door and he told me he will come out after he was done shaving. But that was when I heard a glass break and some grunting noise. I kicked down the door and ran inside. I noticed the bathroom window was opened and found the second pig on the floor. It looked like he had been stabbed multiple times. I got scared again and ran out, knocking down the support that held up the stick house. The stick house fell and I kept on running. I didn’t care where I was and who I hit. I just wanted to get out.
Joratio: That explains why the houses were collapsed. What happened next?
Al: When I stopped, I noticed that I was at that third pig’s house. I knocked on the door and the pig told me to get lost and not to bother him. At that time, I was catching my breath after all that running. When I was going to tell him about what happened to his brothers, he made a sexual reference about my granny.
Joratio: What did he say?
Al: He told me that my granny can sit on a pin. That was when I got angry and try to take down his door. (Wiping sweat off his face)
Joratio: What you told me doesn’t explain why you were knocking on Frank’s door.
Al: Frank was late with my granny’s sugar and I was told to check up on them.
Joratio: Who told you to check up on them?
Al: Well…ahh… it was my granny. She told me to go ask why her sugar packages were late.
Joratio: (Joratio shows Al the piece of dress) Does this look familiar to you?
Al: That look like it’s the same dress my granny wears. Wait…it can’t be.
Joratio: Al, what are these sugar packages? I can’t help you if don’t tell me.
Al: (sighs). Ok, Ok. It’s cocaine.
Joratio: That police will take your statement. Tell him what you told me. I am going to have a chat with your granny…tomorrow.
Stranger: I hope you don't believe what he told you.
Joratio: And who might you be?
Stranger: My name is Tom and I am the third oldest brother. I don't believe a word that wolf said. You shouldn't either because my brothers would never do drugs.
Joratio: The evidences does support Alexander's statement and the drugs found in your brothers' houses doesn't support your claim.
Tom: That wolf planned the evidences. No...maybe you cops did it. I don't trust any of you.
(The following day at the office)
Blank: Joratio, you have to read this. I found this news clip that has infoma…
Joratio: You read it to me. I am too cool to read it.
Blank: Oh come on… fine… asshole. The news clip reads:
BREAKING: TWO FOUND DEAD, MURDERED AT HOME
By: William Tsang
Published on Feb. 25, 2009
Two brothers were found dead at their own home in southeast Fairy Tale in what was believed to be a homicide, the police said.
Investigators believed that a wolf named Susan Wolf stabbed and killed Frank, and Steve Pig. Officers was unable to find the murder weapon but witnesses say that they saw a wolf ran out of the two victims houses and seeing it collapse right after.
“I saw a wolf run out of the Frank’s straw house. The wolf was running so fast, it knocked down a turtle and didn’t bother helping him flip back up. As I was going to help the turtle up, I heard a loud sound and I saw the straw house collapse. It was horrible,” a rabbit, Daniel Dash, said, with shock.
Local police officers were unable to locate Ms. Wolf. The police officers raided Ms. Wolf’s home this morning and found cocaine wrapped in brown paper bags labeled “sugar”. Police commissioner Jordan authorized road blocks in hope to find Ms. Wolf.
According to the police, Frank was slashed multiple times and bled to dead on the floor. His brother Steve was fatally stabbed in the chest where it punctuated his lungs. Medical examiners believed that the knife did not kill Steve. Instead, it left Steve grasping for air because he died.
During the search, the police have found cocaine in a secret basement in the two pigs’ home which led the police to believe that Frank and Steve were either drug users or drug dealers.
Neighbors have said to have seen the two boys carrying huge clear bags that contain white powdery substance.
Their oldest brother Tom described his two brothers as outgoing and would never do anything illegal.
“That’s impossible. There is no way my brothers would do something like this. Sure most of the time Frank and Steve were goofy and build houses out of straws and sticks, that doesn’t mean they are drug users. The wolf must have put the cocaine there.”
The suspect, Ms. Wolf was said to be a disturbed person with a horrible attitude. She is said to beat up anyone that doesn’t agree with her.
“I am not surprised if Ms. Wolf is the murderer. Once she beat up a goldfish because the goldfish disagreed with her. They were arguing whether or not fishes need to stay in the water. Ms. Wolf forced the goldfish to stay on land. If it wasn’t for everyone in this neighborhood who put the goldfish back in the fish tank, the goldfish would have died of dehydration,” a lion, Simba said, with anger.
During the search on Frank’s and Steve’s house, Detective Joratio Haine found a piece of clothing that belongs to Ms. Wolf. That was the initial evidences that shifted the investigators attention away from Ms. Wolf’s grandson, Alexander T. Wolf.
Alexander was the first suspect that the police had into custody because an eyewitness claimed to have seen him run out of the victims’ house. Later reports indicated however that Alexander was not the murderer. He was merely at the wrong place or the wrong time. The victims’ house collapsed was blamed for poor architectural design. Thanks to Detective Joratio Haine who found supporting evidence which cleared Alexander. A piece of clothing was found at the scene of the crime similar to Ms. Wolf’s muumuu dress, led the police to believe that Ms. Wolf was the attacker. The police report indicates that Alexander was merely an errand boy for Ms. Wolf. Apparently Ms. Wolf was a drug dealer who disguises her drugs by putting them in paper bags marked with the word “sugar”.
(Blank slams the newspaper on to the desk)
Joratio: How did our findings and Al’s police statement get leak to the press?
Blank: Must have been an inside job. Someone must have given him the information otherwise he couldn’t have known. I think we need to bring this (looks at newspaper) William Tsang in for questioning.
Joratio: Well, it seems like William found the leak
*puts on sunglasses*
Before we were able to plug it.
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hell Hath no Fury like a Pigs Scorn
Here today standing before me is Alexander T Wolf. He is the wolf who committed those atrocious crimes against the three little pigs. He brutally blew down the house of said pigs and then ate them like it was Thanksgiving dinner. Who am I you mite ask, well I am the one who was confined in me the miserable job of watching the gates of hell throughout all eternity, and you know me as Joseph Stalin. I am forced to sit here and decide whether or not these people who come through are truly evil and would thus stay in hell or if they should rise up and join the angels in heaven.
Joseph Stalin: So Mr. Wolf as being one partook in the slaughtering of people; I know how much you can have while doing it, so why did you do it
Wolf: Sir, I was not looking to murder these poor little pigs, I was merely inquiring about borrowing a cup of sugar to bake a cake.
JS: So when they refused to give you this cup of sugar you decided it would be just, to destroy their homes and eat them?
Wolf: No no no, nothing of the sort sir, I had a slight head cold which was making sneeze very violently, and I developed the urge to sneeze. My sneeze was so terrible it blew away first the hose of straw and then the next house which was made of sticks.
JS: So after blowing the houses away what did you do?
Wolf: Well after blowing the houses away, I saw that those swine were just lying motionless in the middle of the rubble, so it was either just leave them there to rot and whither away or eat them.
JS: And you being the big bad wolf decided it would be perfectly fine to eat them and just proceed on in your search for sugar.
Wolf: Why yes, and then might I add when asking for the sugar these pigs were very nasty and would rudely answer me back even though my request was easy and simple.
JS: Well then what happened next?
Wolf: Well I then proceeded on my journey for the cup of sugar, after eating the second pig to a beautiful brick house. Upon arrival to this brick house I asked the same question, to which I did receive a warm response. That putrid swine even told my grandmother, whom I was baking the cake for; to “sit on a pin” so that drove me up a wall. I was angry I then huffed and puffed trying to break down his door, but as this was occurring the police came and started beating me with a plunger, I was then thrown in jail and executed, leaving me here standing in front of you hoping you believe my story and give me mercy.
JS: Well you are right, you are at my mercy, and before I inform you on my decision I would like to discuss a few things with you. To begin now even though when you ate those pigs they were dead how do you think they mite have died? Maybe it could have been their homes collapsing on them, maybe when you blew their houses down you could have given them a heart attack. Nonetheless, what you did can be summed up as an act of nature. Wolves eat pigs and other animals, if you didn’t eat these animals it may destroy our ecosystem and thus society would not be able to exist. So with that you can ascend up to the good graces of heaven
Wolf: Really thank you thank you this is the greatest day ever, are you serious!?!?!?!?!?
JS: Hahahahaha no I was just joking with you Wolf, you’re already in hell nothing can go your way, your stuck here for eternity.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
The god’s work or the demon’s work
Mr. wolf became a controversial figure in the forest of U.S.A.. But why is he so popular? You maybe so confuse. But when you hear this breaking news, you will understand why he is so famous in this country.A shocking news from Wall st. Journal
“A man called wolf who be doubt had mental problem killed four fund managers because of losing his money. And he stick to believe that he doesn’t commit any crime.”
The story about Mr. wolf turn into a hot topic in this nation. And argument about Mr. wolf’s innocent have never suspend. Time runs fast. Today the supreme court of New York will make a verdict to conclude all disputes. People come form different classes stay around the court. Though everyone have different views, they also have the same question--dose the supreme court’s judgment have enough power to eliminate everybody’s passion.
In the court
Judge: “ Mr. wolf, do you understand why you are here?"
Mr. wolf: “I understand that very clearly. I ate four pigs, but it wasn’t my fault. They forced me to do it.”
Judge: “ Mr. wolf, are you ok? You know what you are talking about? Mr. wolf, you should realize that this is a court but not a stage. Nobody accept your ridiculous answer. Your explanation only can make everyone laugh!” Judge speaking so seriously.
Mr. wolf: “it is not a joke. They are robbers. My money, my family, all things I have were deprived by the four assholes!”
Judge: “ Mr. wolf, be careful your words and you does not answer my question.”
Mr. wolf said with tears falling down: “ Everybody knows that four pigs’ mother and me are good friends. Because of this relationship, I gave all the money which from my hard working to them and hope they can do some investment for me, but they lost my money. Why? Why?”
Judge: “ Mr. wolf, calm down please. Is that your answer. You should know that investment is risky business. No one 100% guarantees to make a profit. Even worse, we are in financial storm and losing money can be acceptable. That can‘t be a excuse for killing anyone.”
Mr. wolf shout out more angrily: “ no, that is not true! You don’t understand Mr. judge! How much they earned after the financial crisis? 50 thousand a year, just the bonus! how about me? I lost my house to play loan! However, they built their new houses instead of losing their jobs! Don’t you think they had any responsibility about losing my money? Why I must be punished? It’s their fault, why I must tolerant their erroneous. It’s unfair. Where is your conscience? It maybe ate by a dog!”
Judge speaks loudly: “ Mr. wolf! Pay attention to your saying! You spoke too much. Enough! Ridiculous! Paradoxical!”
Mr. wolf: “ they are demon, devil! They are doing demon’s job! They ate all taxpayers’ money. But why government want to bailout them! Bailout the demon, but sacrifice the innocent people like me! The god sent here to punish the four pigs!”Mr. wolf takes off his shoe to attack the judge!
“where is the security? Stop him!” judge shout.
Suddenly all people in court like the boiling water! Wolf supporter: “ safe us, set wolf free! I hate AIG, JPMorgan, Goldman sarch, Citi bank! They are all demons! Kill all fat cats!”
“this is ABC channel, because of the error signal, the live in supreme court of New York has to stop now! We are apologize about your unconvenience. This is Johnny, in New York Supreme Court!”
Three Terrible Terrorist Pigs
CINDERELLAS A. COURIC, DISNEY NEWS ANCHOR: Tonight, a world tries to grasp the new shocking revelations of the highly publicized trial of the Three Little Pigs vs., Alexander T. Wolf (better known as the Big Bad Wolf). Revelations so strange that hundreds of thousands of Disney and cartoon characters are appreciative and understandably somewhat confused. I’m Cinderellas A. Couric.
ANNOUNCER: From Disney News world headquarters in Neverland, this is the Disney Evening News with Cinderellas A. Couric.
COURIC: Good evening everyone. The highly publicized trial of the Three Little Pigs vs. Alexander T. Wolf ended with Judge Tinkerbell Fairly sentencing Wolf to a fairytale’s eternity in prison. If you remember, throughout the trial Wolf was seen as evil and delusional, never once admitting the heinousness of his crimes. Wolf accused the media of sensationalism. Sensational or not, his story about eating siblings – Alfred Pig (the owner of the straw house) and Bosley Pig (the owner of the stick house) seemed a bit incredulous. His recount of the event included tales of sugar, a cake for an ailing grandmother and sneezing. Sneezes so incredibly powerful that he blew down the houses of the brothers and eventually ate them. According to him, they were already dead upon his consumption. The lone surviving victim of this tragedy, Carl Pig (owner of the brick house), is said to be missing his siblings terribly, although he is thankful for his survival. Anger has now been added to list of emotions as breaking news informs us that Wolf has been acquitted and his sentence revoked. There is a twist to this intriguing story. It does seem that Wolf was lying, but so too was the main witness, Carl Pig. Mr. C. Pig has just been arrested and is being held as a suspect of terrorism. We have Peter Pan reporting in Everland, New Cardigan tonight. Peter, what a strange turn of events -- from a grieving brother to an incarcerated terror suspect.
PETER PAN, DISNEY NEWS CORRESPONDENT: That’s right, Cinderellas. Carl Pig has confessed that he and his siblings planned to reign supreme over all the Disney and cartoon characters. From his taped confession, he admitted that he and his siblings felt humiliated and unappreciated compared to all the other Disney stories. They were owners of shabby dwellings and never had a female in their storybook lives. There was no gold, nor royalty – only sticks, straws, and a slew of unhappiness. Wolf once considered big and bad, is now hailed a fairytale land superhero.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
PAN: Carl Pig and his brothers planned to rebel against the writers of famous fairytales by capturing their beloved characters and killing them off in order to create their own destiny where they ruled opulent kingdoms and had relations with fair maiden princesses.
MICKEY MOUSE: I still can’t wrap my mouse brain around it. Carl and I shared the remains of the Giant’s pork chop for dinner just two days ago. (Pause). Coming to think of it I should have known something was wrong -- he was a cannibal and I didn’t even recognize. No cannibal I know is ever innocent. I hate cannibals!
PAN: In addition to these confessions, exposure of Wolf’s profession has surfaced. Alexander T. Wolf also known as Agent Wolf is attached to the C.I.A. (Cartoons Investigation Agency) and was working undercover in order to infiltrate the Pig Brothers organization. Wolf’s story in court was a last ditch attempt to maintain his cover; a cover which was blown by C. Pig when interviewed by Jackandjill Wentupahill for their once annual taping of 2010 Minutes.
DOPEY (from Snow White fame): Man, I always knew that Wolf was the man. He had these super cool vintage John Lennon glasses that made him look more like a rock star than a murderer. But C. Pig and his brothers were cool cats too. When my Mama Dopey died they were the first dudes willing to help out. I don’t believe they planned to hurt anyone. They just wanted more. C. Pig always said that he just wanted live a life unscripted.-- like those dudes in Entourage.
PAN: Disney and cartoon characters alike have been split on Judge Fairly’s decision. For the impoverished the Pigs are seen as leaders of revolution while the Wolf was a pawn in the establishment’s game of control. The Pigs were to even the playing field. On the other hand there are those view them as disloyal and terrorist in nature because they dared to challenge Neverland’s establishment. Wolf was a savior in keeping the characters and their societal positions intact.
In the end, the C. Pig’s trial will begin next week and prosecution will be calling its main witness – none other than Agent Alexander T. Wolf.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
COURIC: All right. Peter Pan. Peter, thanks very much.
What is the truth?
Lion king: who waked me up? You better have something let me thinking. Life without thinking is unchallengeable. Our forest has been keep peace for so long. Anyone who broken this peace must pay.
Little Pig: Are you the Lion king? (saying with the tears)
Lion King: yes, my son. I am the most powerful king in the forest and I am fairness to everyone. Come on, and speak up, I don’t have all day. I have to go back to my dream. The old men always tire. (lion king close his eyes and want to go back to sleep)
Little Pig: King, please bring me justice and fairness. The Wolf destroyed my two brothers’ houses and ate them alive, and he also attempted to eat me. Now, I became a poor little pig living the world alone.
Lion King: Don’t worry my son. I am gonna give you justice after I heard what the wolf would say.
Little Pig: Don’t, my king, you don’t have to hear anything from the wolf. We all know that he is the biggest liar in our forest. He can make the white become black by only using the words.
Lion King: No, my son, I can’t send anyone to death without hear any confession from themselves. Detective Tiger, please, bring me the wolf.
Detective Tiger: Yes, your honor.
(…)
My king the wolf is here. (bring the wolf with a handcuff)
Lion King: (to the wolf) Is it true that you ate little pig’s two brothers?
The Wolf: Yes, your honor, I ate the two pigs, but I am innocent. I have confession need to make.
Lion King: You can speak it out. I am the king, and I will bring justice to everyone.
The Wolf: Your honor, I destroyed the two houses that little pig’s brothers made, because I wanted them to notice that sticks and bricks can’t use to build the house. If anything happen likes earthquake or storm, those houses will break at first time. They probably will bury in their own houses like that. Don’t you think that is a kind of tragedy which bury in the houses build by they own. For this reason, I blew the houses down.
Lion King: Sounds like an understandable reason. Thank you, my good citizen. If everyone like you, we would not lose so many our kinds in Haitian forest.
The Wolf: (make a bow to Lion King)
Little Pig: He is a liar, such a big liar. He ate my brothers. He ate my brothers. (Little Pig screaming out)
Lion King: Silence, Silence. I am gonna bring justice. (To the Wolf) do you have anything to say?
The Wolf: Yes, my lord. I wasn’t attempted to eat them. I just wanted to warn them about the houses, but they didn’t listen. After I blew the houses down, they instead thank me but attack me with pigs’ teeth.
My king, I am so innocent. Maybe I did something wrong, but I was from a good intension. I shouldn’t eat them for defense myself. I should dead before their teeth. My king, please, punishes me for the warning I given, sends me to death for the good intension I had. I have nothing else to say.
Lion Kind: My good citizen, I will not punish for what you did. On the other hand, I will give you a reward for whatever you want.
The Wolf: My king, I should thank you for bring me justice and fairness. I will always be your good citizen. I don’t want any reward. I only want you give a little warning for the false charge that Little Pig did to me.
Lion Kind: Don’t worry, my son, you are free to go. I will punish Little Pig. He will be my lunch today.
Little Pig: I...I…I wanna my mom. Crying….
Little Pig: Are you the Lion king? (saying with the tears)
Lion King: yes, my son. I am the most powerful king in the forest and I am fairness to everyone. Come on, and speak up, I don’t have all day. I have to go back to my dream. The old men always tire. (lion king close his eyes and want to go back to sleep)
Little Pig: King, please bring me justice and fairness. The Wolf destroyed my two brothers’ houses and ate them alive, and he also attempted to eat me. Now, I became a poor little pig living the world alone.
Lion King: Don’t worry my son. I am gonna give you justice after I heard what the wolf would say.
Little Pig: Don’t, my king, you don’t have to hear anything from the wolf. We all know that he is the biggest liar in our forest. He can make the white become black by only using the words.
Lion King: No, my son, I can’t send anyone to death without hear any confession from themselves. Detective Tiger, please, bring me the wolf.
Detective Tiger: Yes, your honor.
(…)
My king the wolf is here. (bring the wolf with a handcuff)
Lion King: (to the wolf) Is it true that you ate little pig’s two brothers?
The Wolf: Yes, your honor, I ate the two pigs, but I am innocent. I have confession need to make.
Lion King: You can speak it out. I am the king, and I will bring justice to everyone.
The Wolf: Your honor, I destroyed the two houses that little pig’s brothers made, because I wanted them to notice that sticks and bricks can’t use to build the house. If anything happen likes earthquake or storm, those houses will break at first time. They probably will bury in their own houses like that. Don’t you think that is a kind of tragedy which bury in the houses build by they own. For this reason, I blew the houses down.
Lion King: Sounds like an understandable reason. Thank you, my good citizen. If everyone like you, we would not lose so many our kinds in Haitian forest.
The Wolf: (make a bow to Lion King)
Little Pig: He is a liar, such a big liar. He ate my brothers. He ate my brothers. (Little Pig screaming out)
Lion King: Silence, Silence. I am gonna bring justice. (To the Wolf) do you have anything to say?
The Wolf: Yes, my lord. I wasn’t attempted to eat them. I just wanted to warn them about the houses, but they didn’t listen. After I blew the houses down, they instead thank me but attack me with pigs’ teeth.
My king, I am so innocent. Maybe I did something wrong, but I was from a good intension. I shouldn’t eat them for defense myself. I should dead before their teeth. My king, please, punishes me for the warning I given, sends me to death for the good intension I had. I have nothing else to say.
Lion Kind: My good citizen, I will not punish for what you did. On the other hand, I will give you a reward for whatever you want.
The Wolf: My king, I should thank you for bring me justice and fairness. I will always be your good citizen. I don’t want any reward. I only want you give a little warning for the false charge that Little Pig did to me.
Lion Kind: Don’t worry, my son, you are free to go. I will punish Little Pig. He will be my lunch today.
Little Pig: I...I…I wanna my mom. Crying….
True life my father is not a pig..
Operah: Good night everyone thank you for joining me tonight. I want to start the show by asking everyone the following question: Are you guys familiar with the story of the three little pigs and Alexander T wolf?
Audience: booooooooooooooooooooo…. The big bad wolf!
Operah: I’m glad you animals know what I’m talking about because joining us today is the son of Piggy #1. (The dumb one that build the house of straw)
Let’s welcome Brownie.
(Audience claps)
Brownie: hello Opera thanks for having me on your show.
Operah: your welcome brownie so tell us what brings you to the show? Because I know that you have being arguing with your mom due to your appearance.
Brownie: that’s right Operah look at me I’m not your regular Pig. I’m not pink as you can see, I’m brown!!
Operah: ohh that’s your real color? I thought you were cover in mud.
Audience: (laughs)
Brownie: You see Operah everyone makes fun of me because of my color. So I want to hear the truth from my mother’s lips.
Operah: What are you talking about Brownie?
Brownie: Well, I have the suspicion that my father was not the dumb pig #1.
Audience: what????????
Operah: That’s why you requested a DNA sample…right?
Well, then lets welcome brownie’s mom, candylicious.
Candylicious: I can’t believe it brownie; you make me come to this ridiculous show of a pig that is always on fat free diets. Get it straight operah we are pigs we are supposed to be fat!!
Operah: ohh No you didn’t sister.
Well, I have a surprise for you hunney. Please welcome to the stage, after 16 years of being in Guantan lomein prison Alexander T, or better known as the “big bad wolf”.
Audience: killer…
Candylicious: what is he doing here?
Operah: Not everything is what it seems, right Mr. Wolf.
Wolf: correct Operah, is a pleasure to finally meet you. I used to see your shows from the prison in Cuba thanks to the paparazzi guards.
Operah: paparazzi guards?
Wolf: yeah that’s what we called them because they liked to take pictures with the naked prisoners.
Operah: ohh I see…well, wolf I’m very interesting on hearing your story.
Wolf: ok duckie... is a long story, but this is the ONLY real story. As you already know I was making a cake for my granny it was her 100th birthday so I wanted to bake her huge cake. However, I ran out of sugar and the stores were closed due to the horrible storm that was approaching. So I quickly went to my neighbor’s house to ask them for sugar, which was only a block away. However, when I got to their house a piggy answer the door, it was candylicious. I ask her if she could lend me a cup of sugar, she told me to not be shy that her husband was not home and that probably he was stuck in traffic due to the horrible storm that was approaching. So I went in and I regret that moment from that time until now.
Operah: what happen? This sounds really juicy, I’m getting hungry, producer bring me my popcorn. Ok wolf keep going.
Wolf: so like I was saying, she insisted so I went in and she gave me a shot of Tequila to celebrate my granny’s birthday. Then we had another one, and another one, until she was not a piggy anymore in front of my eyes. She was a hot pink fox so you know; I couldn’t miss this opportunity so let’s say we made sausage, egg, and cheese. But while we were doing it the whole house felt apart. I mean is not my fault I’m this good you know. But that wasn’t the worst part; piggy #1 was standing right in from of us and passed out of a heart attack. So I decided to try to help him out and give him the mouth to mouth resuscitation aid. When his brother, piggy # 2 arrive of course, he thought I was eating him, so he quickly ran to his house and I follow to explain him what happen. But he didn’t listen and I knock on his stick house, but still no response, when suddenly the wind blew so hard that a big stick from the roof felt on the piggy’s head and he die instantly because of the very few brain cells he had. But I felt the responsibility of telling piggy #3 the bad news but on my way to his house, I saw candylicious running towards me asking me for a favor. She was crying and told me that I had to sneak into piggys #3 house because he had something that belong to her and if he found out, that his brothers were dead he wouldn’t give it back to her. So as the good animal I’m, I decided to help her.
However, she tricked me because piggy #3 wasn’t home, he was at the gym. So as I was trying to sneak into piggy #3 house trough the roof she turn on the chimney. As a result, I burned my tail while I was going down and her plan work. She waited for piggy #3 to come home then she told him that horrible story that you guys already know. She made everything up, so that she could marry pig #3 and be rich. As a result, piggy #3 went on with the story called the cops and they arrested me and send me to Cuba.
Candylicious: that’s a lie, he is lying, there’s no proof of that.
Operah: You’r wrong again!
Please bring in the DNA results (she gets the DNA envelope)
In the case of Brownie, the DNA results show that the real father of DNA is the wolf!
Audience: ooh...Wow…
Brownie: that explains my color, daddy can you take me hunting?
Wolf: sorry son but I’m a Vegetarian but I can teach you my techniques of baking.
Operah: So now you know the real story, and today’s quote is “don’t judge a book by its cover”.
Thank you for joining me tonight, until next time.
Please get this pig (candylicious) out of here.
THE END
Audience: booooooooooooooooooooo…. The big bad wolf!
Operah: I’m glad you animals know what I’m talking about because joining us today is the son of Piggy #1. (The dumb one that build the house of straw)
Let’s welcome Brownie.
(Audience claps)
Brownie: hello Opera thanks for having me on your show.
Operah: your welcome brownie so tell us what brings you to the show? Because I know that you have being arguing with your mom due to your appearance.
Brownie: that’s right Operah look at me I’m not your regular Pig. I’m not pink as you can see, I’m brown!!
Operah: ohh that’s your real color? I thought you were cover in mud.
Audience: (laughs)
Brownie: You see Operah everyone makes fun of me because of my color. So I want to hear the truth from my mother’s lips.
Operah: What are you talking about Brownie?
Brownie: Well, I have the suspicion that my father was not the dumb pig #1.
Audience: what????????
Operah: That’s why you requested a DNA sample…right?
Well, then lets welcome brownie’s mom, candylicious.
Candylicious: I can’t believe it brownie; you make me come to this ridiculous show of a pig that is always on fat free diets. Get it straight operah we are pigs we are supposed to be fat!!
Operah: ohh No you didn’t sister.
Well, I have a surprise for you hunney. Please welcome to the stage, after 16 years of being in Guantan lomein prison Alexander T, or better known as the “big bad wolf”.
Audience: killer…
Candylicious: what is he doing here?
Operah: Not everything is what it seems, right Mr. Wolf.
Wolf: correct Operah, is a pleasure to finally meet you. I used to see your shows from the prison in Cuba thanks to the paparazzi guards.
Operah: paparazzi guards?
Wolf: yeah that’s what we called them because they liked to take pictures with the naked prisoners.
Operah: ohh I see…well, wolf I’m very interesting on hearing your story.
Wolf: ok duckie... is a long story, but this is the ONLY real story. As you already know I was making a cake for my granny it was her 100th birthday so I wanted to bake her huge cake. However, I ran out of sugar and the stores were closed due to the horrible storm that was approaching. So I quickly went to my neighbor’s house to ask them for sugar, which was only a block away. However, when I got to their house a piggy answer the door, it was candylicious. I ask her if she could lend me a cup of sugar, she told me to not be shy that her husband was not home and that probably he was stuck in traffic due to the horrible storm that was approaching. So I went in and I regret that moment from that time until now.
Operah: what happen? This sounds really juicy, I’m getting hungry, producer bring me my popcorn. Ok wolf keep going.
Wolf: so like I was saying, she insisted so I went in and she gave me a shot of Tequila to celebrate my granny’s birthday. Then we had another one, and another one, until she was not a piggy anymore in front of my eyes. She was a hot pink fox so you know; I couldn’t miss this opportunity so let’s say we made sausage, egg, and cheese. But while we were doing it the whole house felt apart. I mean is not my fault I’m this good you know. But that wasn’t the worst part; piggy #1 was standing right in from of us and passed out of a heart attack. So I decided to try to help him out and give him the mouth to mouth resuscitation aid. When his brother, piggy # 2 arrive of course, he thought I was eating him, so he quickly ran to his house and I follow to explain him what happen. But he didn’t listen and I knock on his stick house, but still no response, when suddenly the wind blew so hard that a big stick from the roof felt on the piggy’s head and he die instantly because of the very few brain cells he had. But I felt the responsibility of telling piggy #3 the bad news but on my way to his house, I saw candylicious running towards me asking me for a favor. She was crying and told me that I had to sneak into piggys #3 house because he had something that belong to her and if he found out, that his brothers were dead he wouldn’t give it back to her. So as the good animal I’m, I decided to help her.
However, she tricked me because piggy #3 wasn’t home, he was at the gym. So as I was trying to sneak into piggy #3 house trough the roof she turn on the chimney. As a result, I burned my tail while I was going down and her plan work. She waited for piggy #3 to come home then she told him that horrible story that you guys already know. She made everything up, so that she could marry pig #3 and be rich. As a result, piggy #3 went on with the story called the cops and they arrested me and send me to Cuba.
Candylicious: that’s a lie, he is lying, there’s no proof of that.
Operah: You’r wrong again!
Please bring in the DNA results (she gets the DNA envelope)
In the case of Brownie, the DNA results show that the real father of DNA is the wolf!
Audience: ooh...Wow…
Brownie: that explains my color, daddy can you take me hunting?
Wolf: sorry son but I’m a Vegetarian but I can teach you my techniques of baking.
Operah: So now you know the real story, and today’s quote is “don’t judge a book by its cover”.
Thank you for joining me tonight, until next time.
Please get this pig (candylicious) out of here.
THE END
Secret Love Gone Bad
Good Morning everyone, welcome to Baboon Winfrey show. (The audience applause and cheering "WOOOOOO"). Today, we are going to have a guest who all of you might have known, because his news has been popular around the world recently. Are you guys ready to find out who it is? (The audience was so anxious to know who the guest was).
So we all know about the case of the cold-blooded murderer of the two teenage pigs in LA, California. Alexander T. Wolf , who's known as the big bad wolf is the suspect of the murderer. He is sentenced to seventy years in prison, although Mr. Wolf considered himself as being innocent, but no one had believe him yet because there were no explanations from him at the moment. Although, he had been in prison for three years now but we never know why there is no defense of his own at the court before. However, for all of you that had been waiting for the truth, we are lucky enough that the prison where he is in, gave us permission to interview him in the show. So here it is, please welcome Mr. Alexander T. Wolf.
(Mr. Wolf came in but there were no response from the audience. All the audience's faces were showing hatred towards the big bad wolf).
Baboon Winfrey and the wolf shake their hand and asked the wolf to have a seat.
Baboon: Welcome to my show Mr. Wolf.
Wolf: Thank you. Why you look so nervous when yo were shaking my hand Mrs. Winfrey?
Baboon: (In the joking mode) was I nervous? Oh silly, of course not. Hahhhaaahaha. So okay Mr.
Wolf how do you feel today?
Wolf: I feel great, tired of being in prison but then again I'm happy being in your show, because who doesnt know about Baboon Winfrey, right?
Baboon: Oh you flattered me, So lets get back on the topic sir, you said you were innocent in the day when the police arrested you, but why you didn't defend yourself and why after this three years of prison you are willing to be accused of the murderer. Please tell me your side of the story.
Wolf: It's a long story, and I guess no one will believe me even though I've said that I'm not guilty because I know that everyone will always think that I am a big bad wolf.
Baboon: We have plenty of time to listen to your story. This might be the only chance for you to share all of the things that been left unsaid. We have everyone in this show to decide whether you are guilty or not.
Wolf: Okay, it was back in 2007, where I met a beautiful young pig. We talked, got to know each other better and eventually we fall in love. Her name was Pinky pig. We knew that we weren't right for each other because we come from two different worlds and in general she should be my prey not the one that I should love, but we believe that with love we can make it through everything. No one knew about our relationship back then because we tried to hide it from everyone around us. One day, one of her brother found out about our relationship, he was furious and he didn't allow me to have any contact whatsoever with Pinky anymore. However Pinky came to me, I was so happy but the news that she brought me broke my heart. That day she wanted to break up with me, with no explanation given. I was so depressed as if I felt a lightning strikes my head. Although I'm very sad but I know Pinky is always in my heart. So, to erase her from my mind I had to live abroad and live with my grandma.
Baboon: Wow, what a very touching story of you. So what happen then?
Wolf: My grandma and I had to worked hard for a living because our living condition is very bad. November 2008 was my grandma's birthday. I was thinking of giving her something special but since I don't have enough money, so I thought of making her a birthday cake. The only problem that I had that day was I had no sugar to make it. So I went to the neighbor to get some sugar , but there were only two houses around my neighborhood. First, I went to Simba the lion's house but he was not at home that time so I went to the next house which is Pumba the warthog, but he has diabetes so he didn't have any sugar at his house. So I planned to go somewhere else to see if there was anyone around who can give me some sugar. After a long walk, I saw a house built from bricks, I knocked the door, and guess who came out? Pinky Pig! I was shocked but also excited at the same time, since it has been too long I've lose in touch with her. I hugged her and asked how she was doing, but she immediately released my arms and pushed me down. I just couldn't believe that her attitude could be so much different than the one I knew before. Suddenly, a male pig which is known as Pinky's boyfriend came out of the house, and asked what was happening. I told him I need sugar to make cake for my grandma, but Pinky said, "No my Webster honey bunny munckin pie, he lied, he didn't asks for sugar, he tried to kill me". The male pig got angry and kicked me by saying "just go away, your grandma is old so she'll die anyway soon". Hearing that statement made me angry because no one can mess around with my grandma. So we got into a fight. Pinky took a knife and tried to seperate us apart but she accidentaly killed the male pig. Both of us were shocked but then Pinky tried to take the knife from the male pig and the last word that she told me was "I'm sorry, I still love you but I just have to do this to you" she abruptly stabbed herself. I was standing there shocked, in the same time scared and can't believe in what had happened. I thought everything was just a dream until I saw Pinky's brother came home and saw everything. He accused me as being the murder of Pinky and Webster. I was speechless that time, I tried to explain everything to Pinky's brother but he wouldnt want a listen to me. I guess he already hated me since I was having a relationship with Pinky. That is why now I'm the suspect of the murderer.
(The audience were sniffing, they were sad hearing the story) The audience realizes that the big bad wolf is innocent. it's just because of love and everything turned out to be a disaster.
Baboon: Oh wow, I just couldnt believe that the story turned out like this. Since we are running out of time, I want to thank you Mr. Wolf for sharing this great story of yours (shaking hand between Baboon and the Wolf) hope everything will go well on you next trial.
Okay folks, this is the story of the big bad wolf. Hearing his story, I guess he is not the man that we thought he was. But again, it's all up to eveyone that is watching this show whether the wolf is guilty or not. Everyone can even vote from the Baboon Winfrey website. So I'll see you guys in another Baboon Winfrey Show!
(Audience claps their hands with the hope that the justice can prove that the wolf is innocent)
So we all know about the case of the cold-blooded murderer of the two teenage pigs in LA, California. Alexander T. Wolf , who's known as the big bad wolf is the suspect of the murderer. He is sentenced to seventy years in prison, although Mr. Wolf considered himself as being innocent, but no one had believe him yet because there were no explanations from him at the moment. Although, he had been in prison for three years now but we never know why there is no defense of his own at the court before. However, for all of you that had been waiting for the truth, we are lucky enough that the prison where he is in, gave us permission to interview him in the show. So here it is, please welcome Mr. Alexander T. Wolf.
(Mr. Wolf came in but there were no response from the audience. All the audience's faces were showing hatred towards the big bad wolf).
Baboon Winfrey and the wolf shake their hand and asked the wolf to have a seat.
Baboon: Welcome to my show Mr. Wolf.
Wolf: Thank you. Why you look so nervous when yo were shaking my hand Mrs. Winfrey?
Baboon: (In the joking mode) was I nervous? Oh silly, of course not. Hahhhaaahaha. So okay Mr.
Wolf how do you feel today?
Wolf: I feel great, tired of being in prison but then again I'm happy being in your show, because who doesnt know about Baboon Winfrey, right?
Baboon: Oh you flattered me, So lets get back on the topic sir, you said you were innocent in the day when the police arrested you, but why you didn't defend yourself and why after this three years of prison you are willing to be accused of the murderer. Please tell me your side of the story.
Wolf: It's a long story, and I guess no one will believe me even though I've said that I'm not guilty because I know that everyone will always think that I am a big bad wolf.
Baboon: We have plenty of time to listen to your story. This might be the only chance for you to share all of the things that been left unsaid. We have everyone in this show to decide whether you are guilty or not.
Wolf: Okay, it was back in 2007, where I met a beautiful young pig. We talked, got to know each other better and eventually we fall in love. Her name was Pinky pig. We knew that we weren't right for each other because we come from two different worlds and in general she should be my prey not the one that I should love, but we believe that with love we can make it through everything. No one knew about our relationship back then because we tried to hide it from everyone around us. One day, one of her brother found out about our relationship, he was furious and he didn't allow me to have any contact whatsoever with Pinky anymore. However Pinky came to me, I was so happy but the news that she brought me broke my heart. That day she wanted to break up with me, with no explanation given. I was so depressed as if I felt a lightning strikes my head. Although I'm very sad but I know Pinky is always in my heart. So, to erase her from my mind I had to live abroad and live with my grandma.
Baboon: Wow, what a very touching story of you. So what happen then?
Wolf: My grandma and I had to worked hard for a living because our living condition is very bad. November 2008 was my grandma's birthday. I was thinking of giving her something special but since I don't have enough money, so I thought of making her a birthday cake. The only problem that I had that day was I had no sugar to make it. So I went to the neighbor to get some sugar , but there were only two houses around my neighborhood. First, I went to Simba the lion's house but he was not at home that time so I went to the next house which is Pumba the warthog, but he has diabetes so he didn't have any sugar at his house. So I planned to go somewhere else to see if there was anyone around who can give me some sugar. After a long walk, I saw a house built from bricks, I knocked the door, and guess who came out? Pinky Pig! I was shocked but also excited at the same time, since it has been too long I've lose in touch with her. I hugged her and asked how she was doing, but she immediately released my arms and pushed me down. I just couldn't believe that her attitude could be so much different than the one I knew before. Suddenly, a male pig which is known as Pinky's boyfriend came out of the house, and asked what was happening. I told him I need sugar to make cake for my grandma, but Pinky said, "No my Webster honey bunny munckin pie, he lied, he didn't asks for sugar, he tried to kill me". The male pig got angry and kicked me by saying "just go away, your grandma is old so she'll die anyway soon". Hearing that statement made me angry because no one can mess around with my grandma. So we got into a fight. Pinky took a knife and tried to seperate us apart but she accidentaly killed the male pig. Both of us were shocked but then Pinky tried to take the knife from the male pig and the last word that she told me was "I'm sorry, I still love you but I just have to do this to you" she abruptly stabbed herself. I was standing there shocked, in the same time scared and can't believe in what had happened. I thought everything was just a dream until I saw Pinky's brother came home and saw everything. He accused me as being the murder of Pinky and Webster. I was speechless that time, I tried to explain everything to Pinky's brother but he wouldnt want a listen to me. I guess he already hated me since I was having a relationship with Pinky. That is why now I'm the suspect of the murderer.
(The audience were sniffing, they were sad hearing the story) The audience realizes that the big bad wolf is innocent. it's just because of love and everything turned out to be a disaster.
Baboon: Oh wow, I just couldnt believe that the story turned out like this. Since we are running out of time, I want to thank you Mr. Wolf for sharing this great story of yours (shaking hand between Baboon and the Wolf) hope everything will go well on you next trial.
Okay folks, this is the story of the big bad wolf. Hearing his story, I guess he is not the man that we thought he was. But again, it's all up to eveyone that is watching this show whether the wolf is guilty or not. Everyone can even vote from the Baboon Winfrey website. So I'll see you guys in another Baboon Winfrey Show!
(Audience claps their hands with the hope that the justice can prove that the wolf is innocent)
GUILTY FOR EATING PORK CHOP
Omar H. Lascelles: Good morning to all you out there in news land who just love to stay tune in other people’s business. My name is Omar H. Lascelles and I am here at the Manhattan Federal Court bringing live the results of New York City versus Alexander T. Wolf (Big Bad Wolf). Al Wolf’s famous brother O.J. Simpson Wolf who was acquitted for the murder of Little Red Riding Hood grandmother which he wrote his book “If I Had Done It” shares his opinion on the charges against Al Wolf.
O.J Simpson Wolf: First of all I want to thank God for being here because with out him I would be in jail. Now for all those who believe my brother is guilty do not know the full story so you can kiss my brother’s (explicit). And to those who continue to show my brother support I truly give my thanks.
(The crowd is mix with emotion. Some people are booing O.J and throwing tomatoes and apples at the stage and others stay quiet and scared of being beaten by the angry people in the crowd)
Omar H. Lascelles: Okay Al Wolf steps up to give his testimony and the crowd and court room is silent. You can hear a leaf drop. Mr. Pig is in the court room with an intense or constipated look on his face
Alexander T. Wolf: As you know my name is Al T. Wolf (says his name with confidence) and I am innocent of these ignorant charges. It’s not my fault I had to sneeze and love pork. Judge Judy the pork or his brother –however you want to look at it- was really delicious. It isn’t like he was going to his brother’s house for sticks to cook or be cook (Al is thinking he should have used the sticks and straw to roast the pigs. He smirks.)
Fred Flintstone (Lawyer): So Mr. Wolf there is not much or no remorse shown by you for eating the two little pigs but you are saying you are not guilty for their deaths. People of the court and Judge Judy please let him come to Bedrock. We eat wolfs for breakfast especially with some sugar, ketchup and black pepper which we use to make barbeque sauce.
(People in the court are agreeing with Fred and pushing Judge Judy to agree with his proposal)
Judge Judy: Order, Order in the court, Order in my court room or I will dismiss this case and allow the wolf to blow your houses down. You ungrateful set of pigs. (Judy thinking to herself the wolf should have eaten the last brother. Maybe all the evidence would have been lost and I could be having my manicure right now).
Fred Flintstone: Judge, please order him defend himself. He is making a mockery of the court with his arrogance.
Judge Judy: Al my dear friend give the court your closing statement and make it quick. I have a manicure appointment.
Alexander T. Wolf: As you know again my name is Al T Wolf (making sure all the pigs in the court house knows his name) and I apologize for sneezing which blew the two houses down which seemed to cause the death of the two little pigs plus sneezing without your hand or tissue to your nose is just horrible etiquette. If you think about it if the first pig answers his door instead of pretending he was not home he and his brother will be alive at this moment. We can all be home playing volley ball or at the lake taking a swim or something. Also all I wanted was sugar so I could surprise my granny for her birthday but their impoliteness causes their deaths not me. I am innocent, innocent I tell you. It’s because they were rude and you know God don’t like ugly so he punishes them for being ungrateful neighbors. And as Mr. Flintstone states “he eats animals for breakfast” so that means if he or his friends in Bedrock sees a luscious, tender looking piece of meat lying there with no owner they would have eaten the brothers. I am telling the truth look at his face. He knows I am telling the truth.
Omar Lascelles: Fred is agreeing with Al and Mr. Pig is furious. Fred sees the look on Mr. Pig’s face and objects to Al’s comment.
Judge Judy: Fred shut up you know you would have eaten the pigs. Wilma do not let good food waste and if you didn’t bring home the pigs you know you would have spend a month at the Rubbles.
Fred Flintstone: True that judge, true that
Alexander T. Wolf: If you went to your neighbors to borrow some sugar and they act rude towards you, you will feel disrespected to. I will not apologize for eating those two little pigs. I apologize only for sneezing which accidentally blew their houses down which caused their deaths. It was an accident not an act of malicious behavior so I should be acquitted of all these charges.
Mr. Pig: I hate you. You took my brothers from me and you think you are innocent. You better hope you are imprisoned or not you will have to deal with me and mind you I am the smart one.
(Everyone in the courtroom is in shock and can not believe Mr. Pig threatens Al on national television)
Audience Member: What an idiot the wolf should have eaten him to. He is a disgrace to the pig’s race.
Omar Lascelles: All you out there in news land who like to stay in tune in other people’s business the court room is in an up roar so Judge Judy has been remove as the judge and Judge Porky Pig has been appointed the new judge.
Al Wolf: (sigh) cannot believe my luck. Isn’t this some (explicit)
Mr. Pig: (Hahahahaha) redemption
Omar Lascelles: This case has been brought to you by Mayer’s Sweet Ham. My name is Omar H. Lascelles reporting for Mind Your Own business news and we will see you here March 2nd 2010 as Judge Porky Pig takes over the case of New York City versus Alexander T. Wolf.
Judge Porky Pig: Th-th-that’s all Alexander T. Wolf. (hahaha)
O.J Simpson Wolf: First of all I want to thank God for being here because with out him I would be in jail. Now for all those who believe my brother is guilty do not know the full story so you can kiss my brother’s (explicit). And to those who continue to show my brother support I truly give my thanks.
(The crowd is mix with emotion. Some people are booing O.J and throwing tomatoes and apples at the stage and others stay quiet and scared of being beaten by the angry people in the crowd)
Omar H. Lascelles: Okay Al Wolf steps up to give his testimony and the crowd and court room is silent. You can hear a leaf drop. Mr. Pig is in the court room with an intense or constipated look on his face
Alexander T. Wolf: As you know my name is Al T. Wolf (says his name with confidence) and I am innocent of these ignorant charges. It’s not my fault I had to sneeze and love pork. Judge Judy the pork or his brother –however you want to look at it- was really delicious. It isn’t like he was going to his brother’s house for sticks to cook or be cook (Al is thinking he should have used the sticks and straw to roast the pigs. He smirks.)
Fred Flintstone (Lawyer): So Mr. Wolf there is not much or no remorse shown by you for eating the two little pigs but you are saying you are not guilty for their deaths. People of the court and Judge Judy please let him come to Bedrock. We eat wolfs for breakfast especially with some sugar, ketchup and black pepper which we use to make barbeque sauce.
(People in the court are agreeing with Fred and pushing Judge Judy to agree with his proposal)
Judge Judy: Order, Order in the court, Order in my court room or I will dismiss this case and allow the wolf to blow your houses down. You ungrateful set of pigs. (Judy thinking to herself the wolf should have eaten the last brother. Maybe all the evidence would have been lost and I could be having my manicure right now).
Fred Flintstone: Judge, please order him defend himself. He is making a mockery of the court with his arrogance.
Judge Judy: Al my dear friend give the court your closing statement and make it quick. I have a manicure appointment.
Alexander T. Wolf: As you know again my name is Al T Wolf (making sure all the pigs in the court house knows his name) and I apologize for sneezing which blew the two houses down which seemed to cause the death of the two little pigs plus sneezing without your hand or tissue to your nose is just horrible etiquette. If you think about it if the first pig answers his door instead of pretending he was not home he and his brother will be alive at this moment. We can all be home playing volley ball or at the lake taking a swim or something. Also all I wanted was sugar so I could surprise my granny for her birthday but their impoliteness causes their deaths not me. I am innocent, innocent I tell you. It’s because they were rude and you know God don’t like ugly so he punishes them for being ungrateful neighbors. And as Mr. Flintstone states “he eats animals for breakfast” so that means if he or his friends in Bedrock sees a luscious, tender looking piece of meat lying there with no owner they would have eaten the brothers. I am telling the truth look at his face. He knows I am telling the truth.
Omar Lascelles: Fred is agreeing with Al and Mr. Pig is furious. Fred sees the look on Mr. Pig’s face and objects to Al’s comment.
Judge Judy: Fred shut up you know you would have eaten the pigs. Wilma do not let good food waste and if you didn’t bring home the pigs you know you would have spend a month at the Rubbles.
Fred Flintstone: True that judge, true that
Alexander T. Wolf: If you went to your neighbors to borrow some sugar and they act rude towards you, you will feel disrespected to. I will not apologize for eating those two little pigs. I apologize only for sneezing which accidentally blew their houses down which caused their deaths. It was an accident not an act of malicious behavior so I should be acquitted of all these charges.
Mr. Pig: I hate you. You took my brothers from me and you think you are innocent. You better hope you are imprisoned or not you will have to deal with me and mind you I am the smart one.
(Everyone in the courtroom is in shock and can not believe Mr. Pig threatens Al on national television)
Audience Member: What an idiot the wolf should have eaten him to. He is a disgrace to the pig’s race.
Omar Lascelles: All you out there in news land who like to stay in tune in other people’s business the court room is in an up roar so Judge Judy has been remove as the judge and Judge Porky Pig has been appointed the new judge.
Al Wolf: (sigh) cannot believe my luck. Isn’t this some (explicit)
Mr. Pig: (Hahahahaha) redemption
Omar Lascelles: This case has been brought to you by Mayer’s Sweet Ham. My name is Omar H. Lascelles reporting for Mind Your Own business news and we will see you here March 2nd 2010 as Judge Porky Pig takes over the case of New York City versus Alexander T. Wolf.
Judge Porky Pig: Th-th-that’s all Alexander T. Wolf. (hahaha)
Friday, February 26, 2010
Randerson Rooper 180
Randerson Rooper: Good Afternoon. I am Randerson Rooper for RNN and on today's episode of Randerson Rooper 180 I am reporting live from the federal courthouse in downtown Anywhere. We will be broadcasting the closing arguments from the trial of Alexander T. Wolf. Wolf is standing trial on two counts of murder and one count of attempted murder. The jurors have been sequestered in a neighboring town for the duration of the trial - unable to speak with their loved ones. One of the jurors, Roger Rabbit, sadly committed suicide last week. His nerves just couldn't deal with the pressure of the trial. Wolf attended Rabbit's funeral and donated 150 pounds of carrots to the Roger Rabbit Fund. The act of a man with a generous heart or a shrewd and cunning ploy by a ruthless murderer? (Pauses.) Wolf is about to deliver his closing argument, let's go inside.
(Camera pans across a courtroom filled to capacity with spectators from every species. Wolf stands in front of the jury box. The faces of the jurors have been blacked out for their safety.)
Alexander T. Wolf: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, for the past 6 weeks the prosecutor has stood before you day after day trying to make you believe that I am a callous killer. Since I am defending myself, I was unable to testify because it would have been pretty ridiculous to scurry back and forth between the witness stand and the floor interrogating myself!
(Jury and spectators laugh).
Judge Yogi Bear: (Pounding gavel) Order! There will be silence in my court!
Wolf: I apologize your Honor. To continue, I would like to take this opportunity to tell you my side of the story. No, let me rephrase - to look each and every one of you in the eye and tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God. On the date in question, I was getting over a terrible upper respiratory tract infection that I caught in Iceland. Why was I Iceland? Not to brag but I dedicate 3 months every year to volunteer with the Wolves Who Love All Animals charity. I was in Iceland helping to rebuild a small town ravaged by deforestation. Anyway, on the day I returned home I realized it was my grandmother's birthday. I didn't have any money since I donated it to a homeless chimpanzee at the airport so I decided a gift from my heart would be best. Who doesn't love cake right? But my pantry was pretty bare and I was all out of sugar. I was a mess - coughing and sneezing like you wouldn't believe. I should've gone to bed but there is no sacrifice too great for my Nana. So I headed over to my neighbor's house to borrow a little sugar. His old house was bulldozed since he couldn't make the mortgage payments and he rebuilt it with straw. It must've been wheat straw cause I'm allergic to wheat and I sneezed something awful and poof, his house just fell apart! There was the First Little Pig, lying under the straw, a victim of my wheat allergy. Wouldn't you know that pork is the remedy to my allergy? So, I ate him to soothe my allergic reaction. With a heavy heart I headed over to his brother's house. They both lost their jobs recently and Second Little Pig rebuilt his bulldozed house with sticks. I wanted to give him my condolences about his brother's death but he was in a terrible mood and refused to let me in. All of sudden I had another sneezing fit and poof, his house just fell apart! There was the Second Little Pig, lying under the sticks, a victim of my upper respiratory tract infection. I figured I needed more pork to help calm my sneezing so I ate him. I went to their brother's house to tell him the sad story and he didn't even give me a chance to speak! I started banging on the door this old wolf drum beat that we play at funerals to honor the dead when the cops came and accused me of murder! So, there you have it members of the jury. My two neighbors gave their lives in sacrifice to heal my wounded and weak body.
Rooper: The court will take a short break and when we return we will hear the prosecution's closing arguments. Stay tuned.
(Camera pans across a courtroom filled to capacity with spectators from every species. Wolf stands in front of the jury box. The faces of the jurors have been blacked out for their safety.)
Alexander T. Wolf: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, for the past 6 weeks the prosecutor has stood before you day after day trying to make you believe that I am a callous killer. Since I am defending myself, I was unable to testify because it would have been pretty ridiculous to scurry back and forth between the witness stand and the floor interrogating myself!
(Jury and spectators laugh).
Judge Yogi Bear: (Pounding gavel) Order! There will be silence in my court!
Wolf: I apologize your Honor. To continue, I would like to take this opportunity to tell you my side of the story. No, let me rephrase - to look each and every one of you in the eye and tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God. On the date in question, I was getting over a terrible upper respiratory tract infection that I caught in Iceland. Why was I Iceland? Not to brag but I dedicate 3 months every year to volunteer with the Wolves Who Love All Animals charity. I was in Iceland helping to rebuild a small town ravaged by deforestation. Anyway, on the day I returned home I realized it was my grandmother's birthday. I didn't have any money since I donated it to a homeless chimpanzee at the airport so I decided a gift from my heart would be best. Who doesn't love cake right? But my pantry was pretty bare and I was all out of sugar. I was a mess - coughing and sneezing like you wouldn't believe. I should've gone to bed but there is no sacrifice too great for my Nana. So I headed over to my neighbor's house to borrow a little sugar. His old house was bulldozed since he couldn't make the mortgage payments and he rebuilt it with straw. It must've been wheat straw cause I'm allergic to wheat and I sneezed something awful and poof, his house just fell apart! There was the First Little Pig, lying under the straw, a victim of my wheat allergy. Wouldn't you know that pork is the remedy to my allergy? So, I ate him to soothe my allergic reaction. With a heavy heart I headed over to his brother's house. They both lost their jobs recently and Second Little Pig rebuilt his bulldozed house with sticks. I wanted to give him my condolences about his brother's death but he was in a terrible mood and refused to let me in. All of sudden I had another sneezing fit and poof, his house just fell apart! There was the Second Little Pig, lying under the sticks, a victim of my upper respiratory tract infection. I figured I needed more pork to help calm my sneezing so I ate him. I went to their brother's house to tell him the sad story and he didn't even give me a chance to speak! I started banging on the door this old wolf drum beat that we play at funerals to honor the dead when the cops came and accused me of murder! So, there you have it members of the jury. My two neighbors gave their lives in sacrifice to heal my wounded and weak body.
Rooper: The court will take a short break and when we return we will hear the prosecution's closing arguments. Stay tuned.
A Bad Rap
Thursday, February 25, 2010 – The now infamous Wolf of the Three Little Pigs has finally broken his silence today at a congressional hearing on Capitol Hill. Congressional members were shocked and stunned as they heard the Wolf’s unbelievable story.
The Wolf appeared before members of Congress in an attempt to clear his name and educate Americans on a horrible disease which he has been inflicted with since childhood. Below is his statement to Congress:
“Esteemed members of Congress, I come before you today a broken wolf; a wolf of great pain and misfortune, a wolf devoid of any love or friendship from others. Some would say that is exactly what I deserve given my behavior. But I implore you to forget your misconceptions of me for just a few minutes, so that I may tell you of a rare, but serious, disease that I have the grave misfortune of suffering from.
One of the most rarely seen, and rarely heard of diseases in the world is Reverse-Asthmatic Psychosis, or RAP for short. It is a truly unique disease that combines a physical ailment with strong psychotic episodes. These episodes appear randomly, without any warning. Essentially, the person inflicted with this disease is prone to extreme bouts of inhalation and exhalation (also known as huffing and puffing), followed by uncontrollable urges to kill anyone that crosses their path.
Ladies and gentlemen, I do not try to hide the fact that I killed those pigs. I was under an extreme episode at the time, and lacked any control over myself at all. But I loved those pigs like family and I would never intentionally hurt them otherwise. I have been given a bad RAP and I must live with that for the rest of my life. Please, do not lock me up and throw away the key. I, along with many others, am in desperate need of help from the healthcare industry. Someone out there must be able to help us live normal lives, and only you have the power to see that it is done.”
As the Wolf concluded, many members of Congress were seen with tears in their eyes. One can only hope that this will mark the beginning of more education on Reverse-Asthmatic Psychosis, and possibly a cure to this horrible disease.
The Wolf appeared before members of Congress in an attempt to clear his name and educate Americans on a horrible disease which he has been inflicted with since childhood. Below is his statement to Congress:
“Esteemed members of Congress, I come before you today a broken wolf; a wolf of great pain and misfortune, a wolf devoid of any love or friendship from others. Some would say that is exactly what I deserve given my behavior. But I implore you to forget your misconceptions of me for just a few minutes, so that I may tell you of a rare, but serious, disease that I have the grave misfortune of suffering from.
One of the most rarely seen, and rarely heard of diseases in the world is Reverse-Asthmatic Psychosis, or RAP for short. It is a truly unique disease that combines a physical ailment with strong psychotic episodes. These episodes appear randomly, without any warning. Essentially, the person inflicted with this disease is prone to extreme bouts of inhalation and exhalation (also known as huffing and puffing), followed by uncontrollable urges to kill anyone that crosses their path.
Ladies and gentlemen, I do not try to hide the fact that I killed those pigs. I was under an extreme episode at the time, and lacked any control over myself at all. But I loved those pigs like family and I would never intentionally hurt them otherwise. I have been given a bad RAP and I must live with that for the rest of my life. Please, do not lock me up and throw away the key. I, along with many others, am in desperate need of help from the healthcare industry. Someone out there must be able to help us live normal lives, and only you have the power to see that it is done.”
As the Wolf concluded, many members of Congress were seen with tears in their eyes. One can only hope that this will mark the beginning of more education on Reverse-Asthmatic Psychosis, and possibly a cure to this horrible disease.
Far Far Away talk show with Zin
Hello everybody and welcome to the Far Far Away talk show. As usual, we have a very special guest that comes and shares his story with us. And today guest is Mr. Alex Wolf, known as the Big Bad Wolf of the Far Far Away society! Please welcome … MR. WOLF!!!
(Alex Wolf comes in)
Mr. Wolf contacted me shortly after he was released from prison to express his desire to make his public statement on my show. Along with Mr. Wolf today, I also invited the people that were involved in the infamous trial years ago. Please welcome Little Red Riding Hood, Three Little Pigs and the Shepherd Boy.
Zin: Good morning everybody, my name is Zin, the host for Far Far Away talk show. Today we have our special guests from the infamous trial that happened years ago known as the Trial of the Big Bad Wolf. Mr. Wolf here was sued by the three little pigs for having eaten them. He was sentenced 50 years in prison and now is here to give us his sincerest explanation, since this wasn’t accepted by the jury 50 years ago. Let’s hear what he has to say.
Wolf: Hello everybody and thank you for being here today. For 50 years in prison I’ve always thought people treated me this way because they misunderstood me. Now let me ask all of the guests here in the show today, what have I done to be sent in the prison by you?
Little Pig: Dude, you ate my brothers!!
Wolf: Yep. (to Little Red Riding Hood) And you, Hoodie?
Little Red Riding Hood: You ate my grandma!!
Wolf: Yup. And received a small surgery afterward by your lovely hunter as well.
Little Red Riding Hood: And don’t call me Hoodie. Call me Lola. I’m all grown up now and I’m a Victoria Secret’s angel you know.
Wolf: Whatever. Next, Mr. Shepherd Boy. Oh, you actually don’t have to say anything. I mean, what’s the point if people don’t believe you? HAHA. Let me tell you, I ate all of his sheeps.
Zin: So you confirmed all of your murder?
Wolf: Well, I did what I did, I’m not going to deny. That was why I went to prison without as much as a protest. But you know there is always a motive behind everything.
Little Red Riding Hood: Then what’s your motive?
Wolf: About your case, it was merely out of kindness. I saw you walking on the path in the forest alone, I was so moved. I mean, who let such a cute girl like you walk in the middle of the forest alone!! Don’t they know that the forest is so dangerous? You were lucky to meet me, because if you had met the Lion you would have been done for. So I approached you and found out that your grandmother, oh my, the evil old lady, made you go through the dark dangerous wood all alone to deliver a cake! She wasn’t sick or anything, I’m telling you. She killed my little wolf brother a few days before for dinner and had a stomach upset because wolf meat isn’t meant to be eaten.
Little Red Riding Hood: (gasp)
Wolf: Why do you think she could survive in the middle of a forest full of dangerous creatures? She is one herself! I only wanted to free you of her; I didn’t you to grow up like her. I’d read somewhere before that there are cases that wolves raise human beings so I was confident that I could also. It was such a hard battle between me and her you know! I lost just because she sent her underling in. That hunter almost chopped me up into pieces!
Little Pig: Then what about my brothers?!
Wolf: Your brother’s house constructions were horrible. I had a degree in Architecture and I knew from a glance that this house wouldn’t hold for long. Straw and stick houses? Are you kidding me? I don’t know if you three were thinking about recycling or saving or whatever, but those houses were a mess. I was on my way to ask for a cup of sugar anyway so I felt a need to talk to them about their houses. I lived in the neighborhood and I didn’t want to get affected by any house collapsing. However, the houses collapsed before I got any chance to warn them. Then things turned out the way you have already known.
Little Pig: As I know, you ate my brothers afterwards. How is that justified???
Wolf: I was just following your agenda: saving, right? I saved you a lot of money from burying those two, eh? Funerals were not cheap, and you were in the middle of building your own house as well. You have to thank me. Plus, I can’t stand their cockiness. I came in with such a small favor and they even talked sh*t to me? Of course I was mad. Didn’t your mama teach you to share? And they tried to roast me when I was on my way through the chimney to teach them a lesson. You are responsible for my second burn degree. My sexy tail was destroyed, you know! My lovely Lady Wolf broke up with me and I went to jail with such a broken heart.
(pause)
To be honest, I even tasted sugar when I ate them (audience: Ewwww!!) Sorry for the ugly truth but I bet they rather ate all of the sugar and die than sharing with me. No wonder why they had diabetes.
Shepherd boy: And..
Wolf: It was your own stupidity man. I was just having my meal. Well in the end, you were the one that was punished HAHA
…
Zin: Sorry for the interruption, but now we are back with even hotter news. Mr. Wolf, during his record with us, has been arrested by the police and being taken back to Far Far Away prison right now. It turned out that he was subject to a lifetime sentence due to a controversial murder he committed during his prison time. The reason is vague and the police refused to answer any question, but we are sad that he wouldn’t be able to present and explain himself to us one more time. Whether he spoke the truth or not, that is up to you. We would like to interview the guests more, but they all have disappeared when Wolf was being taken away. Little Red Riding Hood apparently contacted her grandmother and she said she wanted a serious talk with her grandmother. The Little Pig has gone home to resume his construction activities and the Shepherd boy, well he mentioned something but I didn’t believe it so neither should you! Thank you for watching the Far Far Away talk show with me today and have a good weekend.
The True story
First of all I must say it is a really funny story, especially because of the fact that it was written for children. Usually children only get one side of the story, if it because of the need to protect them, or the need to create for them a perfect world, where the bad are bad and the good are also beautiful.
The story tells a tale we all grew up on, but from a new perspective, a one that we would never expect - the wolf's story. The truth is that he made me identify with him, I honestly believed him, the wolf was caught in a moment he didn't mean to be in. I'm sure each and every one of us was at least one time mistakenly perceived by other people who judged him. It is an awful feeling for one to have, to be told by other people what you are without giving you the chance to explain. The "big bad wolf" wanted to clear his name once and for all, I think it's a very honest and sincere thing to ask.
I'm a wolf fan now - count me in!
Dror K.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
A Good Father or Murderer?
American news:
Everybody knows that there’s a brutal crime in the forest ----- Mr. Wolf killed two little pigs. His barbaric activity shocked everyone. Mr. Wolf was sentenced to death by the supreme court of United States, and people were all satisfied with this decision. However, today there’s another shocking news announced ---- Mr. Wolf is innocent and there’s no death penalty to him anymore. What? Mr. Wolf is INNOCENT? It’s unbelievable! Or maybe there’s another TRUE story behind this murder? Our reporter Ms. Jiang interviewed Mr. Wolf this afternoon and after that we all know what happened.
Ms. Jiang: Welcome Mr. Wolf!
(But there’s no applause in the room)
Ms. Jiang: Everybody wonder know the true story between you and the three little pigs. Can you tell us why after you killed two of them but you still innocent? It sounds incredible!
Mr. Wolf: Well, everybody believes I am the “Bad Big”, but the fact is the three pigs are monsters and killing them is my self-defense. My son little wolf is little pigs’ classmate. They study in the same primary school. However, the pigs always rob my son and threaten him. They said if my son couldn’t do homework for them, they would kill him! As a good father, I don’t want my son get hurt, so I came to visit the little pigs and try to educate them. The first house I came to was the big pig’s house. I asked him don’t threaten my son and don’t set a bad example for his little brothers. The big pig got angry and then he took his gun out to shoot me! At the same time, I pushed him and he fell down. His head was beat by the sharp corner of the table, and the blood flew over ground like waters. He died after a sudden. Then almost the same unexpected things happened at the second pig’s house. Before I came to the third little pig’s house, I carried the second pig’s gun in order to protect myself. The third little pig didn’t open the door for me, so I get into the house through chimney. But the third pig was scared when he saw me. He noticed that I carried a gun, so he called police to arrest me. Actually I had no intention to hurt him, but he misunderstood me. This is how it came to pass. Everybody thought I was the murderer. Fortunately the judge is so impartiality, so he retrial my case and finally found out the truth behind it. I am INNOCENT! I am…… (Mr. Wolf is so excited to say one word)
American news:
Do you believe Mr. Wolf’s statement? Statistic show that 50% citizens believe Mr. Wolf is innocent and all his activities are self-defense, however, the other 50% still consider Mr. Wolf is a murderer and probably he bribes the judge so that judge makes a wrong decision. Mr. Wolf is a good father or murderer? Maybe only God knows……
Everybody knows that there’s a brutal crime in the forest ----- Mr. Wolf killed two little pigs. His barbaric activity shocked everyone. Mr. Wolf was sentenced to death by the supreme court of United States, and people were all satisfied with this decision. However, today there’s another shocking news announced ---- Mr. Wolf is innocent and there’s no death penalty to him anymore. What? Mr. Wolf is INNOCENT? It’s unbelievable! Or maybe there’s another TRUE story behind this murder? Our reporter Ms. Jiang interviewed Mr. Wolf this afternoon and after that we all know what happened.
Ms. Jiang: Welcome Mr. Wolf!
(But there’s no applause in the room)
Ms. Jiang: Everybody wonder know the true story between you and the three little pigs. Can you tell us why after you killed two of them but you still innocent? It sounds incredible!
Mr. Wolf: Well, everybody believes I am the “Bad Big”, but the fact is the three pigs are monsters and killing them is my self-defense. My son little wolf is little pigs’ classmate. They study in the same primary school. However, the pigs always rob my son and threaten him. They said if my son couldn’t do homework for them, they would kill him! As a good father, I don’t want my son get hurt, so I came to visit the little pigs and try to educate them. The first house I came to was the big pig’s house. I asked him don’t threaten my son and don’t set a bad example for his little brothers. The big pig got angry and then he took his gun out to shoot me! At the same time, I pushed him and he fell down. His head was beat by the sharp corner of the table, and the blood flew over ground like waters. He died after a sudden. Then almost the same unexpected things happened at the second pig’s house. Before I came to the third little pig’s house, I carried the second pig’s gun in order to protect myself. The third little pig didn’t open the door for me, so I get into the house through chimney. But the third pig was scared when he saw me. He noticed that I carried a gun, so he called police to arrest me. Actually I had no intention to hurt him, but he misunderstood me. This is how it came to pass. Everybody thought I was the murderer. Fortunately the judge is so impartiality, so he retrial my case and finally found out the truth behind it. I am INNOCENT! I am…… (Mr. Wolf is so excited to say one word)
American news:
Do you believe Mr. Wolf’s statement? Statistic show that 50% citizens believe Mr. Wolf is innocent and all his activities are self-defense, however, the other 50% still consider Mr. Wolf is a murderer and probably he bribes the judge so that judge makes a wrong decision. Mr. Wolf is a good father or murderer? Maybe only God knows……
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