True life my father is not a pig..

Operah: Good night everyone thank you for joining me tonight. I want to start the show by asking everyone the following question: Are you guys familiar with the story of the three little pigs and Alexander T wolf?

Audience: booooooooooooooooooooo…. The big bad wolf!

Operah: I’m glad you animals know what I’m talking about because joining us today is the son of Piggy #1. (The dumb one that build the house of straw)
Let’s welcome Brownie.

(Audience claps)

Brownie: hello Opera thanks for having me on your show.

Operah: your welcome brownie so tell us what brings you to the show? Because I know that you have being arguing with your mom due to your appearance.

Brownie: that’s right Operah look at me I’m not your regular Pig. I’m not pink as you can see, I’m brown!!

Operah: ohh that’s your real color? I thought you were cover in mud.

Audience: (laughs)

Brownie: You see Operah everyone makes fun of me because of my color. So I want to hear the truth from my mother’s lips.

Operah: What are you talking about Brownie?

Brownie: Well, I have the suspicion that my father was not the dumb pig #1.

Audience: what????????

Operah: That’s why you requested a DNA sample…right?
Well, then lets welcome brownie’s mom, candylicious.

Candylicious: I can’t believe it brownie; you make me come to this ridiculous show of a pig that is always on fat free diets. Get it straight operah we are pigs we are supposed to be fat!!

Operah: ohh No you didn’t sister.
Well, I have a surprise for you hunney. Please welcome to the stage, after 16 years of being in Guantan lomein prison Alexander T, or better known as the “big bad wolf”.

Audience: killer…

Candylicious: what is he doing here?

Operah: Not everything is what it seems, right Mr. Wolf.

Wolf: correct Operah, is a pleasure to finally meet you. I used to see your shows from the prison in Cuba thanks to the paparazzi guards.

Operah: paparazzi guards?

Wolf: yeah that’s what we called them because they liked to take pictures with the naked prisoners.

Operah: ohh I see…well, wolf I’m very interesting on hearing your story.

Wolf: ok duckie... is a long story, but this is the ONLY real story. As you already know I was making a cake for my granny it was her 100th birthday so I wanted to bake her huge cake. However, I ran out of sugar and the stores were closed due to the horrible storm that was approaching. So I quickly went to my neighbor’s house to ask them for sugar, which was only a block away. However, when I got to their house a piggy answer the door, it was candylicious. I ask her if she could lend me a cup of sugar, she told me to not be shy that her husband was not home and that probably he was stuck in traffic due to the horrible storm that was approaching. So I went in and I regret that moment from that time until now.

Operah: what happen? This sounds really juicy, I’m getting hungry, producer bring me my popcorn. Ok wolf keep going.

Wolf: so like I was saying, she insisted so I went in and she gave me a shot of Tequila to celebrate my granny’s birthday. Then we had another one, and another one, until she was not a piggy anymore in front of my eyes. She was a hot pink fox so you know; I couldn’t miss this opportunity so let’s say we made sausage, egg, and cheese. But while we were doing it the whole house felt apart. I mean is not my fault I’m this good you know. But that wasn’t the worst part; piggy #1 was standing right in from of us and passed out of a heart attack. So I decided to try to help him out and give him the mouth to mouth resuscitation aid. When his brother, piggy # 2 arrive of course, he thought I was eating him, so he quickly ran to his house and I follow to explain him what happen. But he didn’t listen and I knock on his stick house, but still no response, when suddenly the wind blew so hard that a big stick from the roof felt on the piggy’s head and he die instantly because of the very few brain cells he had. But I felt the responsibility of telling piggy #3 the bad news but on my way to his house, I saw candylicious running towards me asking me for a favor. She was crying and told me that I had to sneak into piggys #3 house because he had something that belong to her and if he found out, that his brothers were dead he wouldn’t give it back to her. So as the good animal I’m, I decided to help her.

However, she tricked me because piggy #3 wasn’t home, he was at the gym. So as I was trying to sneak into piggy #3 house trough the roof she turn on the chimney. As a result, I burned my tail while I was going down and her plan work. She waited for piggy #3 to come home then she told him that horrible story that you guys already know. She made everything up, so that she could marry pig #3 and be rich. As a result, piggy #3 went on with the story called the cops and they arrested me and send me to Cuba.

Candylicious: that’s a lie, he is lying, there’s no proof of that.

Operah: You’r wrong again!
Please bring in the DNA results (she gets the DNA envelope)
In the case of Brownie, the DNA results show that the real father of DNA is the wolf!

Audience: ooh...Wow…

Brownie: that explains my color, daddy can you take me hunting?

Wolf: sorry son but I’m a Vegetarian but I can teach you my techniques of baking.

Operah: So now you know the real story, and today’s quote is “don’t judge a book by its cover”.
Thank you for joining me tonight, until next time.
Please get this pig (candylicious) out of here.
THE END