Transcript of
State of Despair vs. G.W. Wolfsh
Supreme Court of the Woods
November 2008
The following is the closing argument by B. O’Lama, Esq. for the State of Despair:
Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, let me give you an accurate account of what happened in truth with the pigs and once I am done, you will see that, in fact the pigs were not the victims of a unfortunate accident, but were murdered and eaten as an act of revenge.
Once upon a time the defendant and the victims were in good relations, but the fact remains, and the fact is that the defendant savagely ate the two victims S. Hamssein and his son Porksay and attempted to eat the third, O. Bacon Laden.
Let me explain how it became that former friends ended up in the belly of one of them: it was a long time ago when O. Bacon Laden was in need of mass sweetener for his baking needs and he asked his friend, G. W. Wolfsh who gladly supplied them with the needed mass sweetener. But after a while, the defendant’s father, G.H.W. Wolfs, asked the same of O. Bacon Laden but he refused to give him the mass sweetener and G. H. W Wolfsh felt very offended. It is then, ladies and gentlemen of the jury that the defendant decided to revenge the humiliation received by his father from the hands of Mr. Bacon Laden.
And so, ladies and gentlemen, the whole plot was devised to make it as it was all an innocent miss happening that Mr. Bacon Laden died tragically when the intention was all along to get him to pay for the insults brought to the father wolf.
And how did all this happen? Well, G.W. Wolfsh knew that he cannot get to Mr. Bacon Laden directly so he decided to approach Mr. Bacon Laden’s business associates claimed that he needed to get mass sweetener from them. And so he went to them and asked for the mass sweetener and when he was told that they have none, he “sneezed” killing first the father Hamssein in his house and then his son in his house. He later planted the sacks of mass sweetener in his victims’ houses to make it look like they were greedy and didn’t want to share and claiming that his allergies caused the untimely deaths of the pigs. We are all aware that the defendant claims he has allergies, but he’s been awfully quiet during this trial…did he miraculously get cured? The truth is that the pigs were killed because they were associates of Mr. Bacon Laden and the whole forest knows the truth. Your honor, allow me to introduce here Exhibit A, which is the sack of mass sweetener recovered from the ruins of Mr. Hamssein and his son’s houses. Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention on the markings of the sacks…(points to the sacks and spells slowly) G.W. W. …G. W. Wolfsh, coincidence? I don’t think so! Furthermore, our team of forensic scientists found Mr. Wolfsh paw prints all over the sacks.
And what happened to Mr. Bacon Laden? Well, fortunately for him, he hid deep in the caverns of his house and evaded the captor until he was forced to quit by this court.
And now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I believe that coming up with the verdict of “Guilty” for the defendant will be only a formality and we can get this hungry wolf off the streets once and for all. Yes we can!
6 comments:
Hi Marius,
I love the way you interacted the history to the event that happened during the G.W. Wolfsh, I mean G.W. Bush, and O. Bin Laden. This conflict was as you stated on your clip. Bush when to a personal war and mess up the whole US.
what's up Marius,
I read your post and was amazed at how you created such a storyline and were able to connect each character from the book to real life people. I believe that the whole court case idea was pretty original and very sophisticated. Furthermore, the names were very funny and it gave a very fresh and fun feeling to the reading as a whole. In closing; A very well thought out post and very creative.
Hey~ Marius,
this was kinda wow!~ to me becuase I took well, I think most everyone in Baruch College but I took a law class during my high school year and even tried out for High School Moc Trial... and this is exactly how we were to write our speech. I loved the way you point out the who vs. who and basic background information. I also liked how you named each character and I was just amazed by everything. But just one point I want to point out is, I thought we supposed to be a reporter not a representative of a story. At the end, the verdict and contents I think you went more as a lawyer.. and I don't know about that but just captured my thoughts. But other than that, it was well thought and excellent idea. ^^
Yes we can! Hm, the names of some of the characters and the famous slogan were on the opposite sides in this case which makes sense in a real life.
Marius, you did a good job setting this story as it is actually happening in court.
I very much enjoyed reading it, good job!
I really enjoyed your post. You did a creative job linking it with the current conflicts in the world. I also thought you did a wonderful job with the little details, especially coming up with the character names. I thought this was an original, well thought out post.
lmaoo i cant stop laughing at this. it funny beacuse recently wolfsh wasnt even smart enough to plant more mass sweeter in there home. instead he went looking for oil. i like the connection to each historic figure especiialy the names.
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