Saturday, September 26, 2009

Trailer Trash Pigs' Sole Survivor Speaks Out!

Last night, Jimmy Dean, the last survivor of the beloved and infamous "Trailer Trash Pigs." had his first returning appearance on the The Jerry Springer Show. It was one of the most anticipated shows of the month.
It seems like it was just yesterday that southern America was tuned in to the exploits of Bubba Bacon, Mary B. Bologna, and little Jimmy Dean. With their reality show "Three Pigs, Three Trailers" winning two Emmies for "Best Reality Show" and "Most Watched Show," that not one person saw the tragic deaths that came at the beginning of this year.
Bubba Bacon, 8, and Mary B. Bologna, 6, were both in the beginning of their second season of the show when they were both tricked by their favorite politician, Wolf Limbaugh, and were tragically killed and eaten. Even though Limbaugh was a whole-hearted supporter of banning pigs rights with campaign "They are food, not Human," the two pigs allowed Wolf in because they were predominate supporters of the republican party and was easily manipulated by his"fancy words" as Jimmy Dean describes it on the show last night.
As the show opened there was an overwhelming sound of tears that came with little Jimmy Dean sitting by himself on the stage wearing his favorite trucker hat saying "Got pork in ya? would you like some?" Jerry's first question came as not a surprise for it was the most anticipated question of the country "How did you out smart Wolf Limbaugh?"
"Well Jerry, that sure is a question I ask god every morning! I tell ya, it wasn't something I thought I had enough curl of a tail for. Well see, Limbaugh came by my house and said he was going to help me get extra channels of Nascar. I thought that was the funniest thing I ever heard cause Nascar doesn't even start for another couple of months. So I told him to go away, then he got madder than an old pig with no apples. As you guys have seen on the show," Jimmy Dean paused a minute for the applause to lower, "my trailer is the double wide which is made out of hard steel, so there was no way of Wolf knocking it over. I don't even know why he was trying. You know what that big ole' boy tried to do next?? Yep, He tried to go through the air vents, and got stuck!!"
The show went on about the lives of his fallen brothers and behind the scenes stories of their show, but everyone was waiting on the edge of their seats for the surprise visit of Wolf Limbaugh who was waiting sound proofed in the back of the stage. When he was revealed, chairs were thrown, tails uncurled and plenty of honky talk ensued! The show ended after Wolf was booed off the stage and he returned with a one claw response. It was definitely a night to remember, and will be one of the last chapters to the three trailer trash pigs. To watch the whole episode of the show log onto www.trailerparkpigs.com.

1 comment:

Matthew said...

This was a very creative take on the story. I love the "Trailer Trash Pig's" reality show idea and the double wide trailer, awesome. So clearly you believe the Wolf did the crime since you called him Wolf Limbaugh (funny). Jerry Springer setting for your interview was perfect, great job.