Friday, February 26, 2010

Far Far Away talk show with Zin

Hello everybody and welcome to the Far Far Away talk show. As usual, we have a very special guest that comes and shares his story with us. And today guest is Mr. Alex Wolf, known as the Big Bad Wolf of the Far Far Away society! Please welcome … MR. WOLF!!!

(Alex Wolf comes in)

Mr. Wolf contacted me shortly after he was released from prison to express his desire to make his public statement on my show. Along with Mr. Wolf today, I also invited the people that were involved in the infamous trial years ago. Please welcome Little Red Riding Hood, Three Little Pigs and the Shepherd Boy.

Zin: Good morning everybody, my name is Zin, the host for Far Far Away talk show. Today we have our special guests from the infamous trial that happened years ago known as the Trial of the Big Bad Wolf. Mr. Wolf here was sued by the three little pigs for having eaten them. He was sentenced 50 years in prison and now is here to give us his sincerest explanation, since this wasn’t accepted by the jury 50 years ago. Let’s hear what he has to say.

Wolf: Hello everybody and thank you for being here today. For 50 years in prison I’ve always thought people treated me this way because they misunderstood me. Now let me ask all of the guests here in the show today, what have I done to be sent in the prison by you?

Little Pig: Dude, you ate my brothers!!

Wolf: Yep. (to Little Red Riding Hood) And you, Hoodie?

Little Red Riding Hood: You ate my grandma!!

Wolf: Yup. And received a small surgery afterward by your lovely hunter as well.

Little Red Riding Hood: And don’t call me Hoodie. Call me Lola. I’m all grown up now and I’m a Victoria Secret’s angel you know.

Wolf: Whatever. Next, Mr. Shepherd Boy. Oh, you actually don’t have to say anything. I mean, what’s the point if people don’t believe you? HAHA. Let me tell you, I ate all of his sheeps.

Zin: So you confirmed all of your murder?

Wolf: Well, I did what I did, I’m not going to deny. That was why I went to prison without as much as a protest. But you know there is always a motive behind everything.

Little Red Riding Hood: Then what’s your motive?

Wolf: About your case, it was merely out of kindness. I saw you walking on the path in the forest alone, I was so moved. I mean, who let such a cute girl like you walk in the middle of the forest alone!! Don’t they know that the forest is so dangerous? You were lucky to meet me, because if you had met the Lion you would have been done for. So I approached you and found out that your grandmother, oh my, the evil old lady, made you go through the dark dangerous wood all alone to deliver a cake! She wasn’t sick or anything, I’m telling you. She killed my little wolf brother a few days before for dinner and had a stomach upset because wolf meat isn’t meant to be eaten.

Little Red Riding Hood: (gasp)

Wolf: Why do you think she could survive in the middle of a forest full of dangerous creatures? She is one herself! I only wanted to free you of her; I didn’t you to grow up like her. I’d read somewhere before that there are cases that wolves raise human beings so I was confident that I could also. It was such a hard battle between me and her you know! I lost just because she sent her underling in. That hunter almost chopped me up into pieces!

Little Pig: Then what about my brothers?!

Wolf: Your brother’s house constructions were horrible. I had a degree in Architecture and I knew from a glance that this house wouldn’t hold for long. Straw and stick houses? Are you kidding me? I don’t know if you three were thinking about recycling or saving or whatever, but those houses were a mess. I was on my way to ask for a cup of sugar anyway so I felt a need to talk to them about their houses. I lived in the neighborhood and I didn’t want to get affected by any house collapsing. However, the houses collapsed before I got any chance to warn them. Then things turned out the way you have already known.

Little Pig: As I know, you ate my brothers afterwards. How is that justified???

Wolf: I was just following your agenda: saving, right? I saved you a lot of money from burying those two, eh? Funerals were not cheap, and you were in the middle of building your own house as well. You have to thank me. Plus, I can’t stand their cockiness. I came in with such a small favor and they even talked sh*t to me? Of course I was mad. Didn’t your mama teach you to share? And they tried to roast me when I was on my way through the chimney to teach them a lesson. You are responsible for my second burn degree. My sexy tail was destroyed, you know! My lovely Lady Wolf broke up with me and I went to jail with such a broken heart.

(pause)

To be honest, I even tasted sugar when I ate them (audience: Ewwww!!) Sorry for the ugly truth but I bet they rather ate all of the sugar and die than sharing with me. No wonder why they had diabetes.

Shepherd boy: And..

Wolf: It was your own stupidity man. I was just having my meal. Well in the end, you were the one that was punished HAHA

Zin: Sorry for the interruption, but now we are back with even hotter news. Mr. Wolf, during his record with us, has been arrested by the police and being taken back to Far Far Away prison right now. It turned out that he was subject to a lifetime sentence due to a controversial murder he committed during his prison time. The reason is vague and the police refused to answer any question, but we are sad that he wouldn’t be able to present and explain himself to us one more time. Whether he spoke the truth or not, that is up to you. We would like to interview the guests more, but they all have disappeared when Wolf was being taken away. Little Red Riding Hood apparently contacted her grandmother and she said she wanted a serious talk with her grandmother. The Little Pig has gone home to resume his construction activities and the Shepherd boy, well he mentioned something but I didn’t believe it so neither should you! Thank you for watching the Far Far Away talk show with me today and have a good weekend.

8 comments:

Loha Raphael said...

I like the talk show format years after the Wolf served his prison sentence. Plus having other characters besides the one surviving pig was a nice twist. Wolf's brash attitude makes sense when you think about wolves being very dominant and predatory animals. His rationale for all the deaths are well thought out and makes sense even though he is still wrong. This story was fun and creative.

xiaobin fan said...

a very interesting topic! I have never think about this view of point! good! but, I hope to give so advice about his article!
i think it is too short, if he write much more can express topic more!

Rachma Maulani said...

Your story are very interesting. I like the way you used yourself as being the host in the show format. At first, I felt bad for the wolf because he gave his statement after he had been released from the prison for fifty years. Thats a lot of years right there for an ex prisoner to tell the story that he's been through within his life. The story was very funny, because we would be surprized knowing that the grandma of the little red riding hood is an evil lady and the wolf is only trying to protect her. Moreover, I was amazed and laughing to myself, that the wolf save money so that they dont have to pay more for the funeral. It is true that its kinda expensive to buy the things needed for the funeral. Although the wolf is still wrong for eating the pig and also the little red riding hood's grandma, but he had an acceptable reason for doing that.

William said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
William said...

I like how you wrote a crossover talk show that included all the stories that had a wolf character in it. It was creative and interesting to read.
At first I was confused when you wrote that the three little pigs sued the wolf. The first two pigs were eaten so technical only one pig was left until I realized that you used the title of the fairy tales.
I like how there is a plausible reason why the wolf did what he did for each different character rather than just one excuse.
The ending was good. After 50 years in jail, the wolf still hasn’t changed one bit. I guess this shows that old habits die hard.

andrew33 said...

i thought this story was fantastic. I like how the wolf was made out to be very intelligent, noting that he even had a degree in architecture. Furthermore, i like the use of bringing in red riding hood to testify against the wolf, this was a very witty idea in my opinion. Lastly, i like how the talk show format was used in this specific post.

Eva Tang said...

I love your story very much. The Wolf made some good points in defending his reasons for wrongdoing. However the story really goes about telling us why many of the characters become victims of the Wolf. It showed that victims deserved their death or punishment. This story inspired me to write my blog based on the idea of survival of the fittest.

jianing guo(johnny said...

It is so funny. I can't set on the chair during the reading. I can never foget you give a sexy tail to the wolf. It also amazing that we have some likeily idea.
again, thank you share this wonderful story.
It's so funny. i can't wait for you next article.