GUILTY FOR EATING PORK CHOP

Omar H. Lascelles: Good morning to all you out there in news land who just love to stay tune in other people’s business. My name is Omar H. Lascelles and I am here at the Manhattan Federal Court bringing live the results of New York City versus Alexander T. Wolf (Big Bad Wolf). Al Wolf’s famous brother O.J. Simpson Wolf who was acquitted for the murder of Little Red Riding Hood grandmother which he wrote his book “If I Had Done It” shares his opinion on the charges against Al Wolf.

O.J Simpson Wolf: First of all I want to thank God for being here because with out him I would be in jail. Now for all those who believe my brother is guilty do not know the full story so you can kiss my brother’s (explicit). And to those who continue to show my brother support I truly give my thanks.

(The crowd is mix with emotion. Some people are booing O.J and throwing tomatoes and apples at the stage and others stay quiet and scared of being beaten by the angry people in the crowd)

Omar H. Lascelles: Okay Al Wolf steps up to give his testimony and the crowd and court room is silent. You can hear a leaf drop. Mr. Pig is in the court room with an intense or constipated look on his face

Alexander T. Wolf: As you know my name is Al T. Wolf (says his name with confidence) and I am innocent of these ignorant charges. It’s not my fault I had to sneeze and love pork. Judge Judy the pork or his brother –however you want to look at it- was really delicious. It isn’t like he was going to his brother’s house for sticks to cook or be cook (Al is thinking he should have used the sticks and straw to roast the pigs. He smirks.)

Fred Flintstone (Lawyer): So Mr. Wolf there is not much or no remorse shown by you for eating the two little pigs but you are saying you are not guilty for their deaths. People of the court and Judge Judy please let him come to Bedrock. We eat wolfs for breakfast especially with some sugar, ketchup and black pepper which we use to make barbeque sauce.

(People in the court are agreeing with Fred and pushing Judge Judy to agree with his proposal)

Judge Judy: Order, Order in the court, Order in my court room or I will dismiss this case and allow the wolf to blow your houses down. You ungrateful set of pigs. (Judy thinking to herself the wolf should have eaten the last brother. Maybe all the evidence would have been lost and I could be having my manicure right now).

Fred Flintstone: Judge, please order him defend himself. He is making a mockery of the court with his arrogance.

Judge Judy: Al my dear friend give the court your closing statement and make it quick. I have a manicure appointment.

Alexander T. Wolf: As you know again my name is Al T Wolf (making sure all the pigs in the court house knows his name) and I apologize for sneezing which blew the two houses down which seemed to cause the death of the two little pigs plus sneezing without your hand or tissue to your nose is just horrible etiquette. If you think about it if the first pig answers his door instead of pretending he was not home he and his brother will be alive at this moment. We can all be home playing volley ball or at the lake taking a swim or something. Also all I wanted was sugar so I could surprise my granny for her birthday but their impoliteness causes their deaths not me. I am innocent, innocent I tell you. It’s because they were rude and you know God don’t like ugly so he punishes them for being ungrateful neighbors. And as Mr. Flintstone states “he eats animals for breakfast” so that means if he or his friends in Bedrock sees a luscious, tender looking piece of meat lying there with no owner they would have eaten the brothers. I am telling the truth look at his face. He knows I am telling the truth.

Omar Lascelles: Fred is agreeing with Al and Mr. Pig is furious. Fred sees the look on Mr. Pig’s face and objects to Al’s comment.

Judge Judy: Fred shut up you know you would have eaten the pigs. Wilma do not let good food waste and if you didn’t bring home the pigs you know you would have spend a month at the Rubbles.

Fred Flintstone: True that judge, true that

Alexander T. Wolf: If you went to your neighbors to borrow some sugar and they act rude towards you, you will feel disrespected to. I will not apologize for eating those two little pigs. I apologize only for sneezing which accidentally blew their houses down which caused their deaths. It was an accident not an act of malicious behavior so I should be acquitted of all these charges.

Mr. Pig: I hate you. You took my brothers from me and you think you are innocent. You better hope you are imprisoned or not you will have to deal with me and mind you I am the smart one.

(Everyone in the courtroom is in shock and can not believe Mr. Pig threatens Al on national television)

Audience Member: What an idiot the wolf should have eaten him to. He is a disgrace to the pig’s race.

Omar Lascelles: All you out there in news land who like to stay in tune in other people’s business the court room is in an up roar so Judge Judy has been remove as the judge and Judge Porky Pig has been appointed the new judge.

Al Wolf: (sigh) cannot believe my luck. Isn’t this some (explicit)

Mr. Pig: (Hahahahaha) redemption

Omar Lascelles: This case has been brought to you by Mayer’s Sweet Ham. My name is Omar H. Lascelles reporting for Mind Your Own business news and we will see you here March 2nd 2010 as Judge Porky Pig takes over the case of New York City versus Alexander T. Wolf.

Judge Porky Pig: Th-th-that’s all Alexander T. Wolf. (hahaha)