Hog City v. Howlin Wolf

Hog City v. HowlinWolf

Anderson Piglet Cooper: Broadcasting live from Pigskin Court in Hog City, we bring to you the murder trial of the century, Hog City v. Howlin Wolf. In case you were living under a rock last year, Howlin Wolf A.K.A “The Big Bad wolf,” is accused of committing the gruesome murders that rocked the nation last year. He’s accused of going to the homes of the two pigs and savagely blowing their homes down with his bad breath and then eating them alive.
Judge Judy Piglet: Defense Attorney Piggly Wiggly, call your first witness please.
Piggly Wiggly: Your honor, I call the defendant, Howlin Wolf to the stand.
Piggly Wiggly: Mr. Wolf can you please share with the court your actions on the day in question.
Howlin Wolf: Yes, sir. It was my grannie’s birthday and I wanted to do something special for her. I decided to bake her a cake, despite the fact that I was suffering from hay-fever. Not to mention, my wife is the one who usually does the baking. However, I thought it would be more special if I baked the cake myself. As I began mixing all the ingredients I noticed that I didn’t have any sugar. Anxious to get the job done, I figured I’d just borrow some sugar from my neighbors. The first house I stopped by was Mr. Nelson Pork Rinds.
I knocked on the door, but no one answered. That’s when it happened.
Piggly Wiggly: What happened?
Howlin wolf: I sneezed so hard that I blew the house down.
Piggy Wiggly: You blew the house down?
Howlin Wolf: Well, it -was- made of straw.
Piggly Wiggly: What happen next?
Howlin Wolf: When the house collapsed, I heard a loud scream. I quickly went to search for Mr. Pork Rind, who was buried in the debris. By the time I found him he was already dead. Rather than leaving him there or calling 911, I figured I’d just eat him. A meal of that quantity would surely satisfy my appetite for a few days. Thereafter, I proceeded on to the next house, which was that of Mr. Pork Rind’s brother Henry. I knocked on the door and as I waited for a response I let out a big sneeze and his house also blew down. I heard another loud scream so I quickly searched through the debris only to find Henry lying there dead. I decided to eat him as well to satisfy my appetite for a few more days. Desperately wanting bake the cake for my granny, I proceeded to the next house, which was that of the third brother Jeffery Pork Rind. I knocked on the door and he answered, “Who is it?” I said, “It’s me Howlin Wolf.” Jeffery quickly mumbled, “I didn’t touch your wife.” At that point I was completely puzzled and yelled, “What the hell are you talking about?” He stated, “I know that’s why you’re here. I’m telling you right now, Howlin, I didn’t touch your wife!” At that time, I started to bang on his door telling him to open up. That’s when the Hog city police showed up and arrested me.
Piggly Wiggly: Ok, your honor I rest my case.
Judge Judy Piglet: Prosecutor, would you like to cross examine the witness?
Prosecutor: Yes, your honor I would, but first I’d like to play a video tape that was recovered from the defendant’s home.
Judge Judy Piglet: You may proceed.
(Prosecutor plays a video of the wolf’s wife Amanda Wolf having relations with both Nelson and Henry Pork Rind)
Howlin Wolf: You bastard! How dare you play that in my front of everyone.
Prosecutor: I played the video to prove why you savagely murdered both, Henry and Nelson Pork Rind.
Howlin Wolf: Turn it off, Please! I can’t bare it anymore.
Prosecutor: I’ll turn it off when you tell the truth
Howlin Wolf (sobbing): Okay! Okay! Just turn it off please! I Killed those bastards because they slept with my wife and I’ll kill that bastard (referring to Jeffery Pork Rind) too if I ever get free.
Judge Judy Piglet: Order in the court! Order in the court!
Prosecutor: Your honor I rest my case.