Wolf, Pigs and Recession

Welcome, this is Lion King. Tonight, we will continue the controversial story of the wolf and the pig. First, let me introduce tonight's guests--Mr. Alexander T. Wolf and Mr. Newton S Pig.

Lion King: Mr. Wolf.

A. T. Wolf: Call me Alex, please!

Lion King: All right. Alex, I know you just earned your PH. D in economy in the prison. Congratulations! In your just published book "Wolf, Pigs and Recession", you argued that pigs shall be responsible for 2007 worldwide recession. Can you talk a little bit more about your theory?

A. T. Wolf: My pleasure. But, first I want to remind everybody that I am innocent. I am preparing another appeal. I am a good guy. If I were the murder, I would have fled the crime scene already. The prosecutors only had circumstantial evidence (like DNA and fingerprints) but not direct evidence, such as witness. They only told half of the truth, not all the truth. In addition, I was prosecuted in the town of pigs ...

Lion King: I am sorry to interrupt you, Alex. But Can we come back to our topic-- recession.

A. T. Wolf: Yes, Lion. After I was locked up innocently, the pig felt so free and happy so that they found all kinds of ways to celebrate that unprecedented triumph against the wolf. One of the ways is to have ultra fun in the bed.

Lion King: Ultra fun in the bed?

A. T. Wolf: I mean to make love. ... As we all know, nothing come free. The fallout is overproduction of pigs. More pigs, more houses built. On the other side, more pigs. cheaper pigs labor. The housing bubble finally busted when pigs couldn't afford their mortgage due to their loss of jobs.

Lion King: Mr. Pig, do you agree with what he said?

N. S. Pig: I prefer being called New. Mr. King, can I tell a short story about my brother first?

Lion King: Only if it is related to this recession and it is short.

N. S. Pig: Yes. As we know, my dear brothers have been considered as lazy pigs, who don't put their efforts to build brick houses. They have being mislabelled. Conversely, they were hard-working, intelligent and warm-hearted pigs. My big brother who lived in the straw house is a philosopher. His name is Socrates Modern Pig. My other brother who lived in the stick house is an environmentalist. His name is Green Globe Pig. They gave away food to the poor from time to time, and usually helped old people fixing their house. Besides, both of them have PH. D degrees. I suggest that we should be silent for 5 seconds for loss of them.

5 seconds passed.

Lion King: Does it have anything to do with tonight's topic?

N.S Pig: Yes, Mr. King. My brother, Socrates Modern Pig, foresaw recession coming. At 5 minutes before he was murdered, he sent me a "pig-mail", telling me that he was facing death threat from the Wolf, but he would not run away. In his mail, he said: "The wolf will pronounce that he is innocent as he used to do so ... I hope that my death will call up our fellow-pigs against the wolf deceiving tricks."

Lion King: All right. Indeed, the pig are united and the wolf has been in jail.

A. T. Wolf: Lion, What??????? That is outrageous.

N. S. Pig: Let me finish what I have talked. He also mentioned that after the wolf being locked away, our pig population will increase dramatically. By that time, the Wolf will use his wolf theory to argue that economic slump is resulted from emotion and irrationality of pigs.

A. T. Wolf: In fact, that is the pig's fault.

N. S. Pig: No. "the truth is behind what we see", My big brother said, "the virus in the wolf's huff-puff was the bio weapon, on which the wolf spent millions of "wolf-dollars" to the pig." Until now, we still carry the deadly virus, which is mistakenly called "swine flu".

A. T. Wolf: Nonsense, everybody knows that swine flu is originate from swine.

N. S. Pig: Is that true that pigs die of "swine flu" but wolves won't? If the "swine flu" were originally from us, why are we not immune to it?

A. T. Wolf: Let us talk about recession.

N. S. Pig: There shall not be a housing problem if you had stayed quiet in the jail. If the wolf construction company owned by A. T. Wolf did not overbuild the houses, if the swine flu did not kill thousand of pigs in China (making houses excess of demand), if you bastard did not pronounce that you will appeal (scaring pigs so that they have desire for love), we the pig will lead our normal life--working hard, having lovely baby pigs, buying only what we need(no speculation), and do not paying higher premium for medical insurance.

A. T. Wolf: Nonsense! Nonsense! Nonsense!

Lion King: All right. The past is over. Last question. How can we get out of recession? Alex.

A. T. Wolf: Set me free and kill more pigs to lower unemployment.

Lion King: What is your opinion, New?

N. S Pig: My other brother, Green Globe Pig, prepared a few measures to help us pass this recession in his last "pig-mail". (Sad on his face) He summed it into one word--GREEN , which is to Get Bill Clinton reelected, to Rip off your credit cards, to Educate yourself not to waste resources, to Engage yourself into green activities to preserve the earth and to Neglect the transitory difficulties. (in the state of deep thought)

10 seconds' silence

N. S. Pig: Actually, recession is another version of the wolf's huff-puff story.

Lion King: What an intelligent pig! The wolf has tries numerous times to get out of the prison. Initially, he tried to use his autobiography to deceive all citizens. Now he tries to use his new book as his propaganda. Dear fellows, remember this: no matter what clothes or skins the wolf put on, it will not change his nature of murderer. Good night.