Wealthy Wall St. businessman, Beowolf Madoff is facing charges of murder in the 1st degree for eating 2 pigs, Porky and Babe both from Brooklyn on September 18th. Madoff is being accused of brutally attacking the two that lived only a couple of houses down from each other. Witnesses say that around 4pm, Mr. Madoff sounded very intoxicated and acting like a belligerent drunk. The third brother, Hamm, wasn’t harmed but serves as a key witness to the events that unfolded afterwards. Here’s a look at what went on at the hearing this morning in Central Booking Courthouse in Downtown Brooklyn…………….
Judge Razz: Mr. Madoff, you stand here today accused of 2 counts of homicide. Please present your case.
Madoff- I have every reason not to eat these pigs, I was a wealthy businessman that had all the money in the world to eat whatever I could possibly afford, why would I even decide to eat pigs?
Defense Lawyer- Yes, my client here is innocent of all charges, he has done nothing wrong. He’s just getting unfair treatment because of past legal troubles. That day, he was observing the Sabbath and was at home relaxing. No way had my client left his house to go eat some pigs that were far away from his home.
Hamm- Your honor I seen the blood that was on his clothes, he had a look that just gave me the chills, and he kept on suggesting on entering my house. At that moment I called up both of my brothers but none of them picked up. I wanted to tell them to come to help me fight off this Wolf. Then when they didn’t pick up, I called the cops.
Witness- I seen him take off in a late model silver Mercedes, I couldn’t make out what model it was but I could tell it was a hundred percent Mr. Madoff. You can’t mistaken him for anyone else, I know how the man looks like, he was all over the news not too long ago.
Prosecution- You said, you WAS a wealthy businessman huh? What happened to all of your money eh? Did u spend it all? DID YOU RIP ENOUGH PEOPLE OFF?????? You ran out of money or something and decided to eat pork!!!!!! Or did you just have desire for pork this whole time?? In my opinion your honor, two things aren’t kosher, his story and him eating pork!
Defense Lawyer: Objection your honor! Mr. Porky and Babe were past clients of Mr. Madoff and I am led to believe Hamm is seeking maximum damages against my client! IF ANYTHING HAMM IS SHOULD BE QUESTIONED IN THE MURDERS!!!
Prosecution- Don’t blame the brothers you low life!!! Your client was caught on camera driving to a 7-11 two blocks away at the time of the murders!!!
Judge Razz- ORDER ORDER IN THE COURT!!! (bangs gavel) The court has heard enough, the jury will now make a decision.
JURY- WE FIND THE DEFENDANT, BEOWOLF MADOFF GUILTY IN THE MURDER OF PORKY and BABE.
Madoff’s found guilty and faces life in prison without a chance of parole.
5 comments:
your post is hilarious!
you certainty succeeded in making the reader to be part of the story . the connection a contemporary issue really revives the story! :)
Excellent job you have done, It's true that rich get richer and the poor get poorer
I like your idea of blending this story in with the whole Bernie Madoff scandal. What really made this stand out for me was the idea of the wolf using the observance of the Sabbath as an alibi for not eating pork! Very funny. I would have liked to hear more from Hamm, because his part, small as it was, really brought a dramatic element to the whole thing.
This is funny which is focus on Madoff fraud. Well done withe the transition and it's so true about the rich
I also like your post here.
honestly, your post gives me the inspiration. To give each chacter a human name, and to let them have a human role in their world such as here you mentioned the wolf is wealthy businessman.
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