"The Perfect Murder"

Anita Forehead (reporter): Where are here in front Hall County Courthouse in Georgia,  to hear the ruling of case Georgia VS Wolf.

 

(cab pulls to the curb, and out comes Alex Wolf)

 

Forehead: Goodmorning Mr. Wolf. Today is the day

Mr.Wolf : Morning gorgeous and please call me Alex, and yes today is the day and I aint a bit scared. (enters courthouse)

 

(Everyone please rise for Judge Justice Warren)

(Judge takes a seat)

 

Judge:  Mr. Batlock you may call your first witness

.

Mr.Batlock:Thank you your honor, defense will like to call Thomas Pig to the stand

 

(Mr.Pig rises and carries on to the stand)

 

Mr.Batlock: Please tell us what happen Mr.Pig

Mr.Pig: He’s a murderer! I saw it with my own eyes, and the evidence is overwhelming. Lock him up and throw away the key he killed my beloved brothers, and justice must be served!! He’s been making threats since day one and I saw him sneak off in the woods with a bloody shirt on. When he saw that I noticed him he smirked and continued on. He did it! Why are we here? He did it!

Judge: That’s enough Mr.Pig, watch your tone in my courthouse

Mr.Pig: Screw your courthouse I want justice to be served on this bastard

Judge: (knocks gavel) That’s enough!! Please step off the stand. Mr.Batlock please call another witness

Mr.batlock: I call my witness Alex A.Wolf to the stand

 

(Mr.Wolf approaches the stand)

Mr.Batlock: Let us hear your side of the story Mr.Wolf

Mr.Wolf: Yes, I didn’t kill those 2 pigs and I never threatened this last yummy looking (clears throat) I mean lying pig. I was once a family friend to the pigs, I always had there back but in a heated controversy of jealous they distance themselves away from me because I got the position of top butcher at Santa Fe Meat Shop for a while they desired the position. I went to their house the night before to have a talk with them but they didn’t want to let me in and when I smelt my favorite food pot roast through the door I stood there and sniffed it but the dust within their door caused me to sneeze something terrible and accidently blew their house down. The next day I made it my business to personally hand them a check in the amount of the house mortage as a apology but no one was there so I left. I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary except the house being to pieces. I didn’t do it, I am being framed. With all the evidence so called provided you weren’t able to find finger prints and my alibi was tight I was at the Crunch fitness gym the time of the murders.

Mr.Batlock: Thank you Mr.Wolf, you may step down, your honor this is going on a scretch but I will like to call back Mr.Pig to the stand

Judge: carry on, long as he behaves himself

Mr.Batlock: Thank you your honor. The court will like to call Thomas J. Pig to the stand.

 (Mr. Pig arises and gets on the stand)

(points to Mr.Wolf) he killed my freaking brothers and hes going to pay for it!!

Judge: Mr.Pig please, that’s enough

Mr.Batlock: Mr.Pig you stated that my defendant has been making threats to you and your brothers that he would eat you alive?

Mr.Pig: Yes, he has and on several attempts he did assault us.

Mr.Batlock: Do you have problems seeing Mr.Pig? you’ve squinting your eyes for quit a while now

Mr.Pig: I have 20/20 vision Mr.Batlock, im fine. Its just a bad habit I have it has nothing to do with having problems seeing

Mr.Batlock: ( walks to the table picks up enevelope, and carries on to the stand) your honor ill like this to be marked defense exhibit A

Judge” Marked

Mr.Batlock: Your honor I hold here copies of Mr.Pig’s medical documentations, and it shows here that Mr.Pig has Macular Degeneration

Mr.Pig: No I don’t

Judge: (looks puzzled) Masculine Ellen DeGeneres? Please explain Mr.Batlock

Mr.Batlock: That’s Macular Degeneration your honor

Judge: That’s what I said

Mr.Batlock: Actually your honor you said…

Judge: (cuts Batlock off) that’s enough Mr.Batlock continue

Mr.Batlock: (clears throat) yes your honor, ahh yes Macular Degeneration which is the loss of central vision, blurred vision (especially while reading), distorted vision (like seeing wavy lines), and colors appearing faded.What you have to say now Mr.Pig?

Mr.Pig: (Biting his lips in rage) well I guess I do have a sight problem whats your point?

Mr.Batlock: My point is that maybe it wasn’t Mr.Wolf you saw sneaking around the day of the murder, now was it?

Prosecuter; Objection! Specualtion

Mr.Batlock: your honor I will like to mark this glove defense exhibit B

Judge: marked

Mr.Batlock: This a rubber glove found at Mr.Wolf’s house, crime scene investigators found it.There was not only your brother’s blood found out it but also pig’s residue. Mr.Wolf previously stated it wasn’t his, and he doesn’t know where it came from, Do you Mr.Pig

Mr.Pig: No, why would I? that’s what he used to cover his finger prints

Mr.Batlock: No, Mr.Pig that’s what you used to frame Mr.Wolf, what people fail to realize is that latex gloves has a powdery substance inside, so the sweat from ones hands leaves finger prints in the gloves. Inside these pair of gloves holds your fingerprints Mr.Pig

This is what I think happened, you were so furious about Mr.Wolf success and later arguments with your 2 older brothers who were going to kick you out, you killed them didn’t you and you framed my client knowing he’d be punished due to circumstances. Didn’t you?

(Mr.Pig looks down in defeat)

Mr.Pig: YES, I did it. Im sorry everyone I was just frustrated and allowed the worse to get the best of me.

(jury gasps)

judge: The jury finds Gervase A. Wolf not guilty, court is adjourned

(Mr.Wolf is actually the murder, he planned it in such as way that he would get accused but let free because of proven his so-called innocence. His twin brother went in his place to the gym which left him with a air tight alibi, and Mr.Pig unfortunately suffers from a mental illness causing him to easily be convinced to admitting something that was never done.Yes a murderer has been set free, very intelligent Mr.Wolf. There goes the world perfect murder. signing off) 

 

A wolf will always be a wolf!

A wolf will always be a wolf!

News Commentator: You are watching WNYC 5, New York’s favorite news station and live in action we are about to witness the trial of the century, the horrendous story of the Three Little Pigs. This trial has put Americans on the edge of their sofas and in the end, hopefully everyone in the Brooklyn community will be able to, once and for, see Mr. Alexander T. Wolf get put in the dog cage. On the scene we have Michael who will be broadcasting the trial. Now, on to you Michael. (Start of the trial)

Judge: (commands loudly) ALL RISE. We have case 262, City of Brooklyn vs. Mr. Alexander T. Wolf. Now Mr. Wolf please tell me what this matter is about.

Mr. Wolf (defendant): I am being accused of killing the three little pigs. I didn’t do anything wrong, I didn’t kill them and they were just stupid. Who would build a house out of straw or sticks? The death of the first two pigs was just an accident but the last pig was really rude and called my grandma names. If I were to be charged for anything it would be for the way I handled the third fat pig.

Plaintiff (District Attorney): I OBJECT! He brutally killed all the pigs and they weren’t that fat. Mr. Wolf is a murderer, I mean blatant murderer! He should be given the electric chair.

Judge: Hey, hey, hey, settle down will you? I will not have the victims called names in this courtroom. Do you understand me Mr. Wolf?

Mr. Wolf: Yes, your honor.

Judge: Start by telling your story please.

Mr. Wolf: Well first, I didn’t have sugar to make a cake for my grandma and I couldn’t run to the store and get some because I was feeling awful. I recently contracted the H1N1 swine flu virus and I decided to just go next door and ask my neighbor if I could have a small cup of sugar. I went to the first two pigs’ houses and the wind was blowing really hard. The pigs didn’t come to the door when I knocked on their doors and the dust from their homes tickled my nose. As I was leaving the first two houses, the wind blew them both down and killed the pigs inside. I seen the houses fall one at a time and when I went to rescue the pigs they were dead, helpless little ham hogs. They were already dead before I got to them and I was really hungry, so I ate them.

District Attorney: I object. I have a witness who has already gave a statement and said that he threatened the pigs to knock them down and blew their homes down. We already have notaries from people who were willing to testify against Mr. Wolf. If he didn’t mean to kill them, he shouldn’t have eaten them. I’m a pig also! What are you going come to my house, blow my house down and eat me too?

Judge: Order, order in the court. Plaintiff let me see those notaries that you have with you today and Mr. Wolf please proceed.

Mr. Wolf: He’s a liar your honor. The last little pig though was very different. I asked that little pig if he could give me a cup of sugar for my grandma’s cake and he started saying disrespectful things about my grandmother. I didn’t like that so I took the law into my own hands and took care of him myself.

Judge: Yourself?

Mr. Wolf: Yes, myself. I used my extra sharp claws and teeth and ate his little chinny-chin-chin. Then I began eating his limbs one by one until his whole body was in my belly. He deserved it and I would do it again and again if I could.

District Attorney: You’re a monster and everyone knows it. Did you hear that? He should be put away forever. Put him in the dog cage where he belongs or worse, put him to death. Killer, Killer, KILLER!

Judge: Order in the court, order in the court! This is absurd. Now quiet down and lets see what the jury says about this case. Jury!

Head of the Jury: By a unanimous vote, the jury finds that the defendant Mr. Wolf is guilty of three counts on 1^st degree murder with the punishment, life in prison.

Mr. Wolf: (charging towards the district attorney) Why you little… I’ll kill you too you fat pig.

District Attorney: Get away. Get away! My neck!

Mike (the camera man): OH MY GOD! Mr. Wolf has been found guilty for three counts on 1^st degree murder and he had just attacked the district attorney. Mr. Wolf had his mouth around the D.A.’s neck and the officers here just fired shots at Mr. Wolf killing him instantly. This is breaking news from your WNYC 5 and that’s it for tonight! Stay tuned for updates tomorrow.