News Reporter Jim the Lizard: Welcome to Farmington 7, where you can get the freshest news from the farm. Sorry for interrupting your daily broadcast but this is a special report. Famed actor Alexander T. Wolf has just been arrested. News Reporter Panda Lee, can you please tell us more about what happened?
News Reporter Panda Lee: Yes Jim. Just moments ago, the case came to a close and Alexander T. Wolf was sentenced to life in prison for the murder of two pigs. Wolf was taken out of the court in handcuffs, guarded by several tiger policemen. The pig community was completely in outrage by his actions. They even mobbed in front of the court. Many of them were relieved and cheered as Wolf was being escorted into the police car.
News Reporter Jim the Lizard: To those who do not know the details, here is a summary of what was presented and decided in the court…
[A few hours earlier, the beginning of the court case…]
Judge Owl Oscar: Okay so from what I am presented with, Mr. Wolf is charged with the murder and consumption of the two brothers of Mr. Peter Pig. What do you have to say for yourself Mr. Wolf?
Alexander T. Wolf: Sir, this is all a misunderstanding. As you can see from the evidence, I was found with nothing but a measuring cup in my hand when I was taken custody from Mr. Peter’s front yard. I just wanted some sugar. The so called “murders” of Mr. Peter’s two brothers were just two horrible accidents. I had a terrible sneezing cold and happened to sneeze in front of both pigs’ houses when I asked for sugar. The force of my sneeze shook their homes so much that they collapsed inwards. It’s not my fault that their houses were so unstable. So technically, their HOUSES killed them. THAT is what happened.
Peter Pig: LIES!! He is an ACTOR!! He’s faking it I KNO--
Judge Owl Oscar: ORDER IN THE COURT!! [BANG BANG BANG] Is that so Mr. Wolf? Why then, did you eat them afterwards?
Alexander T. Wolf: With all due respect, sir, are you seriously asking me this? I am a wolf. When the debris cleared, there were two dead pigs. So I simply figured: Why waste meat?
Peter Pig: Your GRANDMA is a waste of meat!!
Alexander T. Wolf: Why I ought to--!!
Judge Owl Oscar: SECURITY!! Hold them in place please!!
[Two security guards grab Alexander T. Wolf and Peter Pig. Alexander T. Wolf bites the shoulder of the security guard that’s closer and rushes toward Peter Pig. The other security guard releases Pig Peter and tries to restrain Alexander T. Wolf. However, Alexander T. Wolf flings the second guard onto the first guard. Both guards are now knocked out. Alexander T. Wolf attempts to mutilate this last little piggie but Peter Pig knees Alexander T. Wolf in the gonads. By this time, backup security guards from the hallways had entered and fully restrained Alexander T. Wolf.]
Judge Owl Oscar: That’s IT!! You DARE try to commit ANOTHER murder in MY COURT ?!?! You are judged GUILTY. LIFE SENTENCE IN JAIL!! And some anger management lessons too!!
[Back to the news broadcast]
News Reporter Jim the Lizard: And there you have it. Alexander T. Wolf is sentenced to jail for life. Any further news of this story will be continued on our regular broadcasting time at ten p.m.
[News coverage ends. News channel tune comes up: ♪ Bee bee boo, boo bee bee bee boo boo. ♫]
