This is Fairytale news, I am Jin the Awesome Cobra, broadcasting live from the Fairytale Court in Fairytale land. Today we have a civil case of Porky the Retarded Pig v. Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf. Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf is counter suing Porky the Retarded Pig for mental distress and depression caused by last year’s most controversial court case, “State of Fairytale Land v. Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf”, where Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf was ridiculously charged with 1st degree manslaughter for the deaths of Sausage the Ugly Pig, and Bacon the Oily Pig. The case is about to start and the judge is walking in.
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : RAWR! Good morning everybody! Here we are today with the case of Porky the Retarded Pig v. Fluffy the Innocent Wolf. Can both defendant and the prosecutor please rise and state your case. I will be asking the majority of the questions here today, just because I said so. The prosecutor may go first
Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : Good morning Uncle Lycan! How are you doing? You look skin looks extra smooth today!
Porky the Retarded Pig : OBJECTION IRRELEVANCY, YOUR HONOR! He is totally sucking up to you and what he is saying has nothing to do with the court case!
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Objection overruled, he is complimenting me, and I am the court, therefore it has everything to do with the case. Fluffy, you may continue.
Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : Porky, if you object one more time, I’m going to sue you after this case for causing me to lose my thoughts. Anyways Uncle Lycan, I am here today to sue Porky for accusing me for the murder of his brothers, who were already dead when I first laid eyes on them! Even though I won the case, everything was never the same. All my friends made fun of me because I got sued by retarded pigs who didn’t know how to build houses and I’ve been a laughing stock ever since. It’s not right! I hate it! I’ve lost all confidence in myself and I was rejected from Piglet High School, where the majority of the student body is pigs, simply because they were afraid of me. It’s all Porky’s fault! He must pay for his actions!
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : This sounds like legitimate case, Porky, do you have anything to say to defend yourself?
Porky the Retarded Pig : Your honor! This case is RIDICULOUS! He ate TWO of my brothers for god sakes! I’m positive that I’m suffering more stress than he could possibly imagine, and now he’s suing ME? You can’t be serious. The only reason he won the last case was because the Judge was his father.
That’s not fa-
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : WHOA WHOA, hold up a second. That judge happens to be my brother, what are you trying to say? That we’re biased? Do you know who you’re messing with here?
Porky the Retarded Pig : Sir no your honor…. You’re not biased at all. Not one bit.. It’s just that he killed two of my brothers..
Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : OBJECTION YOUR HONOR! I did not kill his brothers; they were already dead when I got there.
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Objection sustained, Fluffy had no fault in the deaths of Sausage and Bacon, they were retards who built a house of straws and sticks, they deserved to die.
Porky the Retarded Pig : YOUR HONOR! You have absolutely no right to say that! You’re a judge, you’re not supposed to take any sides!
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf: Stay in topic Porky, or you’ll risk losing this case. Are you aware of the stress you’ve caused Fluffy by your careless actions? Did you think about it before you decided to sue him?
Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : YEAH! HE HURT MY FEELINGS.
Porky the Retarded Pig : What!? What about MY feelings! What about MY stress that he caused to ME by HIS careless actions!!? He definitely didn’t think about it before murdering my brothers!
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : For the last and final time, stay on topic. What is wrong with you? The world doesn’t revolve around you, you selfish pig. This case is not about your feelings or your brothers, it’s about Fluffy’s feelings and the stress you’ve caused him. You did not answer my previous question, please stay on topic.
Porky the Retarded Pig : Okay this is getting ridiculous, you are just as biased as the last judge. I’m going to sue you for being biased!
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : That’s the last straw, you’ve disrespected me and my family for the very last time. I sentence you to death by barbecue! You will be cooked for Fluffy’s family to eat, and that is final.
Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : Yeah! And I’ll sue your parents if you taste bad!
Porky the Retarded Pig : WHAT!? YOU CAN’T DO THAT!
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Sure I could, I am the judge, I can do anything. Watch me. GUARDS, TAKE HIM AWAY!
Porky the Retarded Pig : NOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS BULLSH-
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Guards, make sure you cut his tongue before cooking him. Prosecutor, do you have any last words?
Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : Looks like I have dinner for tonight! Thanks for everything Uncle! I’ll see you tomorrow.
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Tomorrow? What’s tomorrow?
Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : Oh you forgot? I’m suing my friends for making fun of me and I’m suing Piglet High School for discriminating me.
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Haha! Sounds like a plan, *wink*, anything else?
Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf : Nope!
Judge Lycan the Unbiased Wolf : Court adjourned.
Well that was an interesting turn of events! Looks like everything worked out for Fluffy the Ridiculous Wolf! I heard he’s having a barbecue tomorrow, and everybody in Fairytale Land is invited! Shame on Porky’s family for being so selfish, all they think about is themselves. They wouldn’t even spare a cup of sugar for Fluffy, how despicable. That’s it today for Fairytale news, This is Jin the Awesome Cobra reporting in, thank you for tuning, see you next time!
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