Reporter: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. This is channel 3 news reporter Edward outside the courthouse in Springfield. Six hours ago in this courthouse, Mr. Wilewolf is charged with two aggravated murder, Mr. Ziggy and Mr. Piggy. Attempted murder to Mr. Smokey and destroy other animals’ residences. Now, the trial has ended, we are waiting outside the court to talk to Mr.Wilewolf… o, he’s coming out. Mr.Wilewolf, hello, Mr. Wilewolf. What judge decided? Can you tell us what happened in the court? Is that true some people said because you found out your girlfriend like pigs more than you so you decided to put revenge on those pigs?
Mr.Wilewolf: I told everyone that I am innocent. The Judge asked me whether I murdered those pigs because I want eat them. It is so not true. I was a pizza wolf and I received a pizza delivery from Mr. Ziggy. Our pizza store policy is that we only accept cash. But when I arrived at Mr.Ziggy’s house, if you call that straw---a house. He first refused to pay cash, only credit card. After I mentioned our store policy, he then said that he ordered Chinese food, not pizza. Well, that pissed me off totally.
Reporter: So what happened to Mr. Piggy? I heared his girlfriend was your old lover. Is that true you killed him because of love?
Mr.Wilewolf: What? No. No. No. After I did not collect money from Mr. Piggy, I lost my pizza delivery job. But I still remember Mr. Piggy’s birthday, he and me was good friends, I can remember his birthday without a Facebook reminder.
Reporter: So you murdered him at his birthday party?
Mr.Wilewolf: Do I look crazy? He thought I killed Mr. Ziggy so that he did not allow me to go to his party. I said, “I am just a single wolf who wants to celebrate your birthday.” Do you know what did he said to me?
Reporter: (shake his head)
Mr.Wilewolf: No way man f@#k that sh@#t. Get the f@#k off my porch, crackhead!!
Reporter: (looks shocked) So what about the attempted murder to Mr. Smokey?
Mr. Wilewolf: Ok, about that, tomorrow or next few days I have lawsuit against him for slander and attempted murder to me.
Reporter: Could you tell us why?
Mr. Wilewolf: First, he knows I have heart disease, and he throw an apple as far as he can, I almost get killed by heart disease because I want that apple so bad. And next day, he hide into a churn and tried to kill me, how smart that little bastard was, if that killed me, then the suspect will be the churn, not him!
Reporter: But since he will not let you into his house, how will you find him tomorrow?
Mr. Wilewolf: O I have a plan. I decide to get down the chimney after him. Do not tell him.
Reporter: Well, people, Mr. Wilewolf is not guilt and we will have follow-up investigation on what happened to the lawsuit against Mr. Wilewo.
1 comment:
Hahah wow this story was hilarious. There's so many twists and turns. This seems like "The 3 Little Piggies TV DRAMA." There was cheating involved, the wolf lost his job and he had heart disease? I like the contradictory of it all. He says he did not want to kill him and yes he is going to sneak into the pig's house through the chimney? That's hilarious...
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